To be dreading going into work on Monday already due to my colleagues?

[AMAZINWOMAN]

I am really struggling with my work colleagues. Two women just spend the day talking, often whispering. Last week, the phone was ringing and when my boss came to answer it, he ran in from his office next door, these two women were just talking and didn't bother picking the phone up.

Another two women have been nodding and rolling their eyes to each other while I have been talking.

Another woman laughs when colleagues are on the phone at them, she laughs when she tells me that clients have called me but she doesn't know who. messages aren't being passed onto me.

They are always bitching about other women. I ignore this and just get on with my job.

I really hate my job now and it's due to my colleagues. I'm starting to get paranoid in work now as I think if make a mistake they'll just bitch about me, the way they do with others.

I've never felt uncomfortable in a work office before. I don't think it's bullying, it's just a really unpleasant toxic office. Luckily, there are other people in work who know these people who have told me to "watch your back"

The thing is I just go really, really quiet in work. I feel if I speak I'll be bitched about so I don't bother. I was emotionally abused and neglected by my parents, so I learned to withdraw to protect myself. I'm doing it again in work now, but I find it draining.

it's only these people in my office who I withdraw from, I'm not always withdrawn.

can you look for a new job?

I felt like this about my last job. I knew it was time to look for a new one when I got home one friday night dreading monday morning. Work should not be so emotionally draining that you end up not enjoying the time you have off because of it.

1. keep notes, just in case...
2. find another job.

Was there no comeback from the boss about the failure to answer the phone incident!? Sounds like a dysfunctional mess of an office, which means it's either government or about to go tits up...

I'm feeling like this at the moment. I love my job and the actual work is great, unfortunately it's the people I work with that cause me grief. I actually sit and cry on a Sunday night because I have to work with them the next day. Whispering, bitchy, unsupportive. I am used to working with great teams, and am so not used to working with horrible people. And they think they are great too.

When I get out the lift on my floor, I switch off my feelings and don't switch them on again until I leave at night. Not a pleasant way to earn a living.

I would agree about recording things. Write down the mean comments just in case you might need evidence later. But above all console yourself with the fact that their carrying on is probably a highlight in their lives. You have so much more

colleagues relationships can be very difficult. especially if there is festering resentment of some sort, it seeps out in all kinds of weird and wonderful ways.

on the couple of occasions that i've had a similar issue, it was much improved by me nicely asking the other person if there was something bothering them. both times they had a perceived problem that had been blown out of proportion by festering and months of snippy remarks etc. it was easily fixed when out in the open.

might be worth a try?? only works if they are generally decent people though.

"she laughs when she tells me that clients have called me but she doesn't know who. messages aren't being passed onto me."

That needs stamping on, ASAP.

Didn't the boss say anything when he came into answer the ringing phone? Has he not confronted this behaviour, or is he part of the problem?

Sounds like a workplace with very poor management - some of the employees are overstepping the boundaries, and no-one is challenging them.
Can you speak to your manager, or go over their head if you feel that would get you nowhere?
It def needs a senior member of staff to kick ass - and also to show appreciation for those, such as yourself, who DO continue to work professionally in amongst the lazy gossips.

Well there are a few things you can do:

What about talking to you own boss, and requesting to be moved to another team?
Explain in depth to her / him why you need to be moved, (make notes, and document what is happening) and threaten to leave if there is nothing done - be assertive, you have rights. Involve HR as well.

Please don't hide within yourself. Take a sick day if you need some space and book a psychologist to talk things through so that you can learn some coping strategies.

Remember just like when you were a child, the bullying and neglect and the toxicity of your office is nothing to do with you, so hold your head up high and know that you're a conscientious person and worth having on a team.

Best of luck with it - please don't hide and withdraw, it's not your fault they are lazy so and sos, but if you don't make contact with your boss and the rest of the team, they can isolate you and blame you for the departments failure.

Walk tall, network across teams, and do your best every day in your job. Contact your boss asap.

Yes, it is a government job and my colleagues quite often say the only way to get the sack must be murder..

My boss just lost his temper when the two colleagues were talking, there were no consequences for them.

I'm definitely making looking for work a new priority next year. It's a shame as this used to be a great job, my boss also recognises that I work incredibly hard and that if he could pick a team he would pick me first.

I've already spoken to my line manager about the whispering and he knew who I meant. He said they had got into bad habits and will speak to them.
I'm not sure he will, but even if he did they wouldn't take any notice.

Yes, I'll focus on strategies today so I'll feel empowered. I just haven't had the time to breathe lately, so it has just been festering away inside me.

I can't help going withdrawn though, it's something I have learned from a very small age. It's a natural instinct I have around some people, (not many though) and my instincts have always been correct. I just feel outnumbered I suppose.

Anyway, they have already ruined some of my evening, I won't let them continue.

What a horrible situation for you.
Just carry on being professional at all times (as you are doing) and keep following the procedures to get them reprimanded.
You should not have to tolerate this bullying crap in the workplace.
Remember it is just a workplace thing - don't let it interfere with your personal life. (Easier said than done I know.) Good luck.

"My boss just lost his temper when the two colleagues were talking, there were no consequences for them."
"I've already spoken to my line manager about the whispering and he knew who I meant. He said they had got into bad habits and will speak to them.
I'm not sure he will, but even if he did they wouldn't take any notice."

Well your bosses are crap, then, and that's the biggest problem with your job. Definitely record your dissatisfaction with HR, and plan your exit, as with bad or weak bosses, it's not going to get any better.... Sorry...

is there any way you could move to a different desk / area / room so that you're not so near these women? it sounds really horrible :(

I think you should put in a formal complaint that you are being bullied and unable to continue working well as a result.

Insist that you are moved to another office, away from these people.

There's always a solution if it's a large organisation. Okay it would be difficult if there was only a small office with you all working in it, but realistically it is possible for you to work in another room.

Insist on it. Say that if you have to leave, you will claim constructive dismissal. Make sure Human Resources are involved, too. They should know what these women are up to.

Do you not have performance evaluations?

List the things that you can have something done about eg not having messages passed on impacts on how well you perform. Don't get picky or petty at staff meetings, keep your complaints professional.

It easy to go into one big bitchfest when you are in the situation that you are in, but that makes it sound personal.

What do you do when they tell you that so and so rang, but didn't take a message and giggle?

I'd ffing LOSE it with them. HOW DARE THEY COMPROMISE YOUR JOB? Seriously!

Read them the riot act! Blow your stack at them. They don't like you, so Stuff em. You can't get fired from there barring murder, so feel free to tear them to pieces!

Others in the office are more than aware of them and their games, so if you speak up, others may follow!

Stop being passive with these people, get angry and start causing trouble for THEM.

Be totally open and honest about what they do. Say to your clients so these women and ideally your boss can hear, 'Oh yes, sorry I didn't call you back, Soandso never passes on any messages to me, she has some kind of issue with teamwork. If you need to get a message to me, please email me and then you won't be wasting your time talking to those that can't be bothered.'

Stop covering for them, blow their cover sky high. Make sure everyone knows what they are doing to you. If anything is said, say, Oh I hear from everyone that this is how you operate with everyone, so I assumed it was 'normal'... Didn't cross my mind that you were doing this and didn't want everyone to know about it....

Raise a grievance, OP, with your HR/personnel officer. It will be taken seriously, those things always are in government jobs if nowhere else. State that you've spoken with your boss and that you're feeling pressurised in the workplace. He will be asked what he has done to mitigate the problems.

Don't even think about leaving your job without tackling this. I understand that YOU can't, but your HR people CAN and WILL.