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Original poster

To think this was rude

42 replies

laptopdancer · 10/12/2011 15:14

I am doing a course and happened to have to be about 15 minutes late one day due to having to take minilaptop to school.
Anyway, apart from being the only one with children in the group, I am also the only overweight one. (This has a bearing).

As I walked in, with apology, the lecturer was in the process of telling the class we would be getting into groups for one of the days of the course and debating as different aspects of the community, givernment and as part of industry.
So as I sat down, he was saying...some of you will be govt organisations, come community groups and soe can represent the chocolate industry. Like laptop, Im sure she will love to represent the chocolate industry. I sat and the back and there was an uncofortable silence. No-one turned around.

I was a bit Shock. Was this rude or am I being oversensitive?

OP posts:
WhoopsyLa · 10/12/2011 18:01

Complain officially! What a dickhead!

lazarusinNazareth · 10/12/2011 18:04

He is a lecturer. You are a lecturer. He made a hugely inappropriate comment in front of students. They obviously felt uncomfortable. You felt uncomfortable. He was wrong. Please complain. The fact you aren't an 'ordinary' student makes absolutely NO difference.

NatashaBee · 10/12/2011 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoubleLLthenanA · 10/12/2011 18:05

What a knob! YANBU.

OleaAndMarge · 10/12/2011 18:06

Sounds like it may have been an unthinking comment at the wrong time! If you had been sat down since the lecture started, then it would be out of line, but seeing as you came in late and then sat down, this was his way of acknowledging your presence and contribution to the class.

I bet that he was mortified about it - give him the benefit of the doubt, unless he's said things like that before. In which case, make a complaint :)

TidyDancer · 10/12/2011 18:08

It doesn't change my perspective, no. I am still fuming for you.

kirrinIsland · 10/12/2011 18:08

Hasn't changed my opinion - still think it's rude and inappropriate

FetchezLaVache · 10/12/2011 19:44

Nope, me too. As a lecturer myself, I think the fact that you are his colleague makes it far, far worse, for two reasons:

a) he must know that you cannot be unaware of the uni/college's non-discrimination policy;

b) he's banking on your not shopping him because of some imagined comradeship.

FetchezLaVache · 10/12/2011 19:52

[That's two reasons in addition to Lazarus's point about belittling a fellow lecturer in front of students, of course...]

lazarusinNazareth · 11/12/2011 17:36

If he wanted to acknowledge you a simple nod or 'hello' would have done. If he was mortified he should have apologised. He hasn't done any of these things. If you feel you can I would speak to him, if not, take it up the line. Could lead onto other things....does he speak that way to students too? Because they may well not feel they are in a position to challenge a lecturer in that way.

sitandnatter · 11/12/2011 17:38

Totally rude, totally unprofessional, out of order, report the idiot and find a few in the class who will be willing to confirm that he said it.

What a pig.

YonderRevoltingPeasantWhoIsHe · 11/12/2011 17:41

laptop I am a lecturer and think he is a dick.

When students have to be regularly late, for example to 9am lectures because our campus nursery which they use doesn't open till 9 so they get to me10 min late, I expect them to let me know. If a colleague was sitting in and would be late, I'd expect them to tell me in advance (presumably you knew you were taking DC to school beforehand) and I think you probably should've mentioned it.

If a student didn't tell me and was persistently late, I might make a slightly sarky comment after a few weeks - like when a student recently turned up for the first time halfway through the term I said drily 'Nice to meet you at last'. But this is more to make a point to a student than a colleague.

I would never ever ever comment on a colleague's lateness or similar in front of students, and never EVER on their personal appearance etc anywhere. Just wrong. Speak to your HoD.

slartybartfast · 11/12/2011 17:44

might not necessarily be making a personal comment. whatever your size. he might have said the same thing. who wouldnt want to research chocolate,

just a thought.

YonderRevoltingPeasantWhoIsHe · 11/12/2011 17:48

slarty hmm but the students clearly took it that way, from the OP's description of the atmosphere.

Agree we all occasionally have foot in mouth moments, but if I accidentally said something so stupid to a colleague I'd be whizzing round their office first available moment to apologise. This guy clearly doesn't think he's said anything wrong.

Even if he didn't mean it, if the OP had been a troubled 19yo with an eating disorder he could've caused some real damage. Being a lecturer means you need to be aware of the implications of things you say: it is a position of power, comparatively, and you need to know that when you talk to students, just like doctors or lawyers or counsellors do.

slartybartfast · 11/12/2011 18:08

i had a teacher say in french class that for example if i thought Slarty was ugly i would chop off her head Sad but that was the 70's were most teachers said crappy things. when they felt like it

RomanChristingle · 11/12/2011 18:38

Has he said anything similar before? Could it have just been a foot in mouth thing and he was just trying to say that it was a good group to be in? It would be difficult to backtrack to be fair and say 'sorry I shouldn't have said that with you being overweight'. That would just make it worse.
If he's a nasty person and you're sure he meant it insultingly then definitely complain but if he's not I'd give him the benefit of the doubt - he might be mortified.

lljkk · 11/12/2011 19:14

I would have thought it's all the ruder exactly because you are a colleague.

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