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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit uneasy/worried/chewing my fingers off

25 replies

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 10/12/2011 09:56

Please be gentle with me, because I really don't know if I'm being precious or rational here.

Dh is taking 11yo ds1 and 8yo dd to a football match today, Reading v West Ham.

I'm doing my best not to feel uneasy about my PFB and PSB going to a football match. I lived most of my life a few tube stops away from Wembley, and match days could be quite frightening. Even as an adult I avoided traveling by tube on a match day. I can't quite believe that a football stadium is an appropriate place to bring young children.

AIBU to be bothered by this? (See, I'm trying to be rational, not alarmist.).

Or should I fling myself at dh, crying "No, no! Go if you must, but don't take the babies!"

OP posts:

jasper · 10/12/2011 09:58

I felt the same way in the same situation. I kept my concerns to myself. They all had a great time and my son did not turn in to a shouting swearing moron

usualsuspect · 10/12/2011 09:58

yabu

My dp used to take my dd regularly to football matches,she loved it

TRy not to worry

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 10/12/2011 09:59

They will be fine. Can understand you being a bit nervous as it is so busy at football matches.

Try a chill out and relax with your free time. Would normally say have a glass of wine but it is not even 10am yet so it might be a bit early.

leftmymistletoeatthedoor · 10/12/2011 10:01

You're being silly.

Ds is almost 5, he'll be going to a match next year.

They'll be fine.

MistressFrankly · 10/12/2011 10:02

They will be fine. From my experience kids are treated well during games. What you find scary they may very well find exhilarating. And if they dont like it, they are with DH and he can take care of them.

You are NBU to be bothered but YABU if you tell them you are bothered

Original poster

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 10/12/2011 10:02

Relax with my free time? Ha. Ha. Ha. I get to entertain livewire manic ds2.

We're going to softplay .

OP posts:

MistressFrankly · 10/12/2011 10:04

Eeek then definitely go with WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid's wine suggestion!

It might only be 10am but soft play on a saturday needs fortification!

Crabapple99 · 10/12/2011 10:09

YANBU to worry, but you needn't. I used to be too scared to take my children to a footbal match, but once we were given tickets and we tried it out, I found it was nothing like I expected. Clubs want families in, and steward control behaviour, abusive shouters hetremoved. Lots of clubs have specific family areas, and entry and exit to be honest was better controlled than in many school assemblies I have been too. We now go regularly, and have a fun and safe time.

Crabapple99 · 10/12/2011 10:11

Sorry, didn't write very clearly, I ws trying to say that anyone behaving hadly, such as shouting abusively, will get a warning ,then be removed by stewards and police. behaviour is carefully monitored and controlled across the stadium, in my experience

troisgarcons · 10/12/2011 10:12

I've just waved mine off to the same match.

Reading V WH is hardly Palace V Millwall is it? Totally different set of supporters - but - the language on the terraces is dreadful! My boys have been going since they were tots. I let them go to Charlton makes sign of the cross on their own now, or rather with mates and they get back about 11pm.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 10/12/2011 10:13

DH had a season ticket when I met him and DS had one from about the age of 4 years. Rugby took over when ds was about 13/14 because he proved so proficient. That I cannot watch - at least not when ds is playing.

They still have their season tickets - and go whenever they can fit it in, esp, the evening games.

I think you are being a little bit silly tbh. Soon ds2 will be old enough and just dream of those free Saturday afternoons.

3monkeys · 10/12/2011 10:16

They'll have a great time. Mine have all beenand DS2 first went to Anfield when he was 5. DD's going today and really excited

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 10/12/2011 10:17

Soft play. Forget the wine. Hip flask full of gin may be needed.

Relax with free time [hangs head in shame at stupid suggestion].

signet · 10/12/2011 10:55

They'll be fine. The mad stad at Reading is really family friendly - nothing like a lot of other stadiums I've been too. It's all very low key and friendly. They'll love it.

Original poster

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 10/12/2011 19:03

They survived, and so did I. They enjoyed the match, I got Xmas shopping sorted, and softplay was...absolutely fine . Not particularly busy, nice cup of tea and a bar of chocolate, read my book, did some knitting (managed to read and knit at the same time ) and ds ran himself into exhaustion.

Prejudices well and truly eliminated. I could do this again.

OP posts:

Winkly · 10/12/2011 19:32

Glad it went well and btw with all the sad stories on here about crap disinterested dads, its nice he wants to spend his free time with son and daughter, and not leaving daughter behind cos she's a girl.

Now have that wine :)

EatMeDates · 10/12/2011 19:35

Glad it went well. My DH has been taking DS and DD to football since they were toddlers. Granted, we support a Division One team, so the crowds arent huge, but tbey have been to home and away games and we have never had a bad experience. They have both been to Wembley to watch England games, too (been going since they were about 3 years old). Atmosphere has always been great and we have been very well looked after by grounds staff.

StrandedUnderTheMisltoe · 10/12/2011 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goolash · 10/12/2011 19:46

It was a really nice atmosphere, no crushing crowds or loutish drunken behaviour. Oh, and we won

callaird · 10/12/2011 20:59

My dad (and Uncles, and there were a lot of them!) took all the kids to football home games from the age of four. Stopped taking us when I was 12 because my female, skinhead cousin was bottled, 48 stiches and an apology of "I'm so sorry, I thought you were a bloke" later, we weren't allowed to go anymore (well the girls weren't!)

This was at Stamford Bridge though and I still can't believe mum let him take us in the first place, this was back in the '70's and the height of the Chelsea/Millwall rivalry.

(I did absolutely love it though and was allowed to go to football again when I was 16 and we moved to Portsmouth! Sitting in the Fratton end, whispering come on Chelsea was a bit hair raising!)

SilentNotViolentNight · 10/12/2011 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

letmehelp · 10/12/2011 21:28

My DCs have been going regularly to football matches since they were 5 & 7.(4 seasons now) Actually DS1 came to his first game at 10mo, but cried every time anyone shouted

Things are way different to the 70s/80s situations calliard remembers (I was there too). The other fans will either ignore or enjoy the children and any minor crush/pushing/minor disturbance is dealt with expertly and promptly by stewards before it can escalate. IMO experience the "trouble" you occasionally hear about is between groups who have gone looking for it and usually outside the ground - as a normal spectator or family group it;s very easy to stay well away. My DC have been all over the country to football matches (with me) and I can honestly say we have never been in an even slightly threatening situation.

Did they have a good time? I hope they were supporting Reading!

troisgarcons · 10/12/2011 21:29

They enjoyed the match

They werent Hammers supporters then! ROFL - it was bloody dire!!!

Original poster

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 10/12/2011 23:51

I think they found the noise a bit overwhelming at times, but joined in with all th yelling and singing anyway.

Dh: "dd was so thrilled by Reading winning that she just had to hug somebody - fortunately I was there!" Whether or not they even thought about footie before (probably didn't), they're firm Royals now!

It totally goes over my head why anybody would want to go watch a football match, but, hey, if it's safe and they enjoy it, then why not?

OP posts:

Goolash · 11/12/2011 00:24

troisgarcons the poor hammer fans did seem to start vacating the stands before the game finished. Blimey, that last red card was deserved!

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo I'm not a footie fan. I've been to several due to free corporate tickets and corporate entertaining, the atmosphere and interest is very different to watching it on tv. We paid for tickets this time but still found it a fun experience. Previously my policy was only if it was corporate, but really it was so well run and easy, there was nothing unpleasant. The London Irish rugby matches have often been recommended to me as a good family day out. I'm going to book

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