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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Remember my "I Want To Scream" Post?

14 replies

SaggyHairyArse · 10/12/2011 09:25

Toys were thrown out of prams last night. I am not sure if we are going away now Confused

My BF rang his sister, explained the situation, he then called the self-appointed' organiser who did not receive our suggestions well... BF got in a frustrated strop and put the phone down on her.

I called her back to pour some oil on the troubled waters, thought we were making progress as told her my concerns (about dog, kids, studying) but she asked to speak to my BF and he has said that she said that there are 5 of us (me, him, the kids) and more of them so why should everything be rearranged for us? And she then put the phone down on him.

So, this morning, I am sat here surfing for other holidays, not knowing what is going on.

Any suggestions for a last minute cheap Christmas break?

OP posts:
Original poster
SaggyHairyArse · 10/12/2011 09:26

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1358830-I-Just-Want-To-Scream

OP posts:
diddl · 10/12/2011 09:51

Why are you looking fior holidays?

If the other one has fallen through-which sounds a good thing to me, why not just have Christmas with BF & children?

TheRepublicOfDreams · 10/12/2011 09:57

But wasn't it YOUR holiday to begin with, that they took over?Confused

hopenglory · 10/12/2011 10:05

Stay at home and have fun

ViviPrudolf · 10/12/2011 10:07

Sod them. Under the Thatch

SolidGoldVampireBat · 10/12/2011 10:12

Bloody hell, this 'organiser' needs a good kick up the twinkle, doesn't she? She has basically muscled in on your Christmas holiday and rearranged it to make it great for her and awful for you. I really think it might be best to cancel and find something else to do with your DC and maybe even your poor BF, who sounds like he's doing his best and stuck in the middle.

Original poster
SaggyHairyArse · 10/12/2011 10:15

diddly, only because we planned to go away in the first place Confused

OP posts:
diddl · 10/12/2011 10:33

Oh, sorry, I thought someone else had planned it & then more had invited themselves.

Hadn´t realised it was your holidayBlush

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/12/2011 11:44

It sounds like a horrible situation, and having read the first half of your other thread, I don't blame you at all for being upset by this. It is atrociously expensive, and a £50 secret santa is way over the top.

I would honestly suggest that you either stay home and have a lovely family christmas, or find another cottage, far, far away from the first one. Personally I would stay at home, because I'd find it easier to do christmas in my own home than to pack it all up, take it away somewhere and do it in a holiday cottage, but maybe I'm a bit of a scrooge. I can see the attraction of being somewhere lovely (both inside and out) that is an escape from everyday life (you can't get away from everyday life when you are at home).

I hope you can sort this out so that you are happy. You are obviously working very hard at the moment, and you deserve a happy christmas as much as everyone else does.

And congratulations on your plan to be an ODP. I used to be a theatre nurse, and worked with some wonderful ODPs - it seems like a fascinating job, lots of challenge and responsibility.

Original poster
SaggyHairyArse · 10/12/2011 12:35

Thank you STG, I am really excited about hopefully qualifying as an ODP (I say hopefully as I am mid way through the Access to HE course and I am waiting on my UCAS application...).

My last attempt at resolution was to send a text this morning suggesting that if we needed more accomodation then we use some of the food budget to cover it rather than increase the costs for everyone, this has not gone down well....And I sent a text rather than speaking as we talked for hours last night and got no where and the person in question is in work.

I have tried to voice my concerns, I have now laid them out and they are backed up by reason not just me being a cow, I have offered two possible solutions. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 10/12/2011 14:19

I think you've been hugely reasonable Saggy. The costs of the proposed trip were way over the top and the proposed accommodation impractical, especially given the availability of the cottage. I hope this doesn't cause too much grief but I think you were absolutely right to raise your concerns. Much more sensible than to go along with arrangements that were unaffordable (£50 for a Secret Santa just tops the nonsense off) and have a thoroughly difficult and definitely unenjoyable time.

Original poster
SaggyHairyArse · 10/12/2011 17:29

Thank you Pande, it is reassuring to know I am not being a drama queen, I really am not one for creating problems, promise!

OP posts:
SolidGoldStockingFilla · 10/12/2011 17:48

I don't think you are going to get this wretched woman to back down, unfortunately. She's obviously used to getting her own way by steamrollering people; all you can do is refuse to go and stick to it.

rookiemater · 10/12/2011 18:17

Having read the original thread I think it is your BF that is being unreasonable. He should know your budget and I don't understand why you would be paying for his food - if its his family and his idea that you come he should be paying for it, although it makes sense that you bring food for the DCs rather than shelling out £50 per child.

I can't see this relationship lasting if you don't go as however valid the reasons you will forever be known as the tight cow who didn't go because she couldn't stay where she wanted and didn't want to contribute to the communal food funds.

I do not think this way btw I think you have completely valid reasons for
not wanting to stay in the communal house and not spending that much on food.

Have you met any of BF's family before, do they know you?

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