to ask how many days/hours your DP's work?

[Newmummytobe79]

We have a new baby and my DH is working all the hours - including Saturdays at the moment.

I know it's for the greater good but I miss him and I know he feels the same about us.

It will hopefully mean we can one day move to a bigger house, pay off debts and have some money for luxuries. We are slowly getting there but we're definitley quality time poor.

I sometimes feel envious of our friends - those with DP's who are home by 4.30pm, have flexi hours etc, but at the same time am so proud of my DH for working so hard for our future.

Just wondering how everyone elses lives stack up regarding time with DP's v long working days? And do you think time at home (with less money) is more important than working hard whilst the DC are little and it paying off in the long run?

5 days a week. Probably averages out at about 55 hours a week.

DH is based from home but regularly travels to other destinations.
Some days he started work at 6.30 am, other days he won't start until 9 pm. Some days he can make breakfast for the DC, make their packed lunches and take them to school - other days they don't see him in the morning if he has an early conference call. Likewise, some days he can pick them up from school and others he cannot. He typically finishes work at 6 pm and doesn't work at the weekends.
If it is a 'London' day he may leave the house by 6 am and not get back until 10 pm (that would be a bad London day but they do happen). He also travels abroad for a few days/week at a time.
I also work (pt teacher but I work about 40 hrs a week) - although DH can see the DC a lot despite working longish hours due to being based from home I cannot rely on him for before or after school childcare on a regular basis - so I pay for a lot of childcare that I don't need (we don't use it unless we need it).
I think due to the nature of our jobs DH (based from home) and I (teacher) can manage to work about 90 hrs a week between us but it not affect family life too much and typically one of us can be around during most non-school hours and we don't work weekends and evenings.

freelance DH works as much as possible-this week it will be approx 84 hours over 7 days. I see him for about one or two hours a day if he's here. he can be away for weeks at a time.

When he has work the pay is fantastic. However, he can spend weeks with no work.

In a way this works out well for us but DS misses him when he's working a lot. I know very very few people whose DH is home by 5 or 5.30!

In winter dh leaves about 6.45am and if we're lucky we may see him before 10pm. He gets really busy with the cold spell and plumbing and heating needing sorted. Summer he still leaves as early but can vary a to when he gets home.

DH leaves the house at 7 am and is generally home about 7pm. However, he does work from home one day a week. Although that is the day that I go to work! So he starts work on that day after the school run and finishes about 5.30pm when it is time to collect from the childminder.

Who are these people that are home by 4.30???

DH is out of the house at 5am, 5 days a week and doesn't get back again until at least 6pm, usually nearer 7pm. He's only been doing these hours for about 3 months, but it is taking its toll on the family. Hopefully the present job will be finished at the and of January and we are both looking forward to him having a break at xmas, he's looking forward to a lie in and I'm looking forward to spending time with someone that doesn't fall asleep on the sofa within 30 seconds of sitting down.

Varies a lot - but in a good week he's at home (working though, but here) 2 days and works 8am to 4pm, then goes to collect DD from the childminder and is with her until bedtime (7.30pm) then gets the laptop out and works til silly o'clock. On the other 3 days he goes in to the office and leaves between 7.30am/8am and is home about 7/7.30pm (then works again after DD's bathtime/bedtime).

In a bad week he's away for 2 full days in London and then in the office or on the laptop the whole rest of the week. Or at the stables: he's got a horse on part loan - actually he's just clip-clopped up the street to 'visit' DD - she loves the horse - it takes up a lot of time at the weekend though as he's there twice a day every Saturday and Sunday working and riding. Plus I work on a Saturday (have a bridal business at home) so we are like ships that pass in the night!

My DH leaves the house around 7.30am and gets back around 7pm - in time to see the kids before bed (we have 3), but never in time to help with the supper / bath / bedtime routine!

But 4 years ago (when we had a toddler and newborn) his department was short-staffed and he was working silly hours - back at midnight on a regular basis - so this feels easy in comparison!

Overall I feel happy with our work / life balance - it would be lovely to have more family time, but not at the expense of DH's career.

I have a friend whose DH is always home at 5.30pm and, while that's great, it does mean she relies on him to be there - so if he goes out for a drink after work she asks her MIL or sister to help put their 2 DSs to bed as she feels she can't do it on her own. I guess that's OK if you have lots of family living locally!

DH finishes at 415 (starts at 0745) so can be home by 430 if he leaves on time, he cycles to work as we're close. They squeeze a normal week into 4.5 days so knock off at lunch time on Fridays.

Currently my husband works from approx 07:30 until 22:00 Mon - Sat. Sunday he has a late start (10:30) but the same finish. This is not due to end until June next year - he's currently overseas. We should see him for two weeks in April.

He is well-paid but has a job in a high-pressure, dangerous environment.

When he is in the UK, he works away from home (long hours) but makes it home every second or third weekend.

Should say that I am a SAHM, we own a modest three-bed house in s nice area and have three young children (aged 5, 3 and 15 months).

We live a long commute from London so it takes DP around 2 hours, door-to-door. He leaves at 6.40 to be in for 8.30 and if he can, leaves at 6 to be home for 8, though probably 3 nights a week he's back anywhere up to midnight due to the nature of his work. He never sees DS from Sunday bedtime to Saturday morning.

We moved here so we could afford a house and for me not to work. It's a very small house and the mortgage is small also as it's so far out of London as to not be a commuter area. DP loves his job, so it's not going to change for the foreseeable.

We live a long commute from London so it takes DP around 2 hours, door-to-door. He leaves at 6.40 to be in for 8.30 and if he can, leaves at 6 to be home for 8, though probably 3 nights a week he's back anywhere up to midnight due to the nature of his work. He never sees DS from Sunday bedtime to Saturday morning.

We moved here so we could afford a house and for me not to work. It's a very small house and the mortgage is small also as it's so far out of London as to not be a commuter area. DP loves his job, so it's not going to change for the foreseeable.

My DP works Mon-Fri 8am-4pm. Gets home around half 4. However he used to work much longer hours in his qualified profession, was made redundant and was lucky enough to find a new job almost straight away (temporary factory shifts) but was taken on permanently. Circumstances being he starts on a low salary, goes to college to gain new qualifications and salary increases each year...

We are currently very skint though, so he is also working every weekend. His salary has dropped by over 10K, and just before he was made redundant I went back to work after Maternity Leave 2 days a week, so my salary dropped 8K too!

It's nice him being home earlier but we are definitely struggling financially.

DH is out at 5.30am and back at 8pm ish unless he works late. Except one day a week when he does the nursery drop off so leaves at 6.30am with the kids. He also takes calls/works on pc in the evenings.

I agree that it's a bit shit. He doesn't get to see the kids in the week, and I sometimes resent doing 99% of the childcare. But he has been in this job less than a year and wants toque an impression. Technically he is allowed to work flexible time, so
I hope that one day we'll see more of him.

DH is out 6-6 Mon-Fri and every other Sat 7-1. He has an hour commute each way but his actual working hours are long IMO 7-5 and 8-12 on a sat.

We're hoping he won't be doing the long commute too long and he can get a transfer nearer to home at some point.

Week 1 = Out at 6am and home at 3pm

Week 2 = Out at 10pm and home at 7am

Week 3 = Out at 2pm and home at 11pm

The 3rd week is the most awkward and all the kids concerts/parents evenings seem to fall on that shift.

Mine works 7 days a week

5.5 days a week home by 6.30. I find the hardest part only having 1 real day off together. It has put pressure on our relationship.

Added to this he earns about half what I do and I get more time off (I have a profession). This causes lots of arguments between us.

Also after mat leave for DC2 I know there will be a tough decision about who works full time (I know what makes financial sense but I want to be with my babies :(

It's really interesting reading what others deal with.

5 days a week, leaves at 6.15 gets in at 4.15. He changed his hours (moved them forward 2 hours from typical office hours, request made under flexible working rights for parents) after we had the DC so that he could get home earlier and help with the evenings. It made a huge difference to the amount of time he spends with them on a daily basis and to my sanity!

DH leaves the house at 5.30am and gets home at 5.30pm Mon-Fri. Sounds reasonable but he's asleep by 9pm at the latest.

Due to the nature of his work though if something big happens, we don't see him until it's resolved. Comes home just to sleep. He's also on call at the weekends so hit and miss as to whether he's here. Today he left at 5.15am and I won't see him until past my bedtime.

His pay is ok, just enough to live on with careful planning. Doesn't reflect his job imo and has had any increases frozen.

He loves it though. Tough with a baby and a 4yo, for him more than me. I've bugger all clue how I'm going to manage to go back to work without a v understanding employer.

He works all the feckin time. Leaves the house at 6.30, gets home about 8.15. Apart from when he's overseas. Then we get to see him between three and eight days a month. Half of which he's jet-lagged. But he gets the usual amount of holiday, and I have been to some great places with him since the children have grown up. It was damn hard when the children were babies, but it's pretty good now. There are benefits, including never getting fed up with one another. And sleeping like a starfish! He and the children have a fab relationship too. But it hasn't been without it's difficult moments. And to be fair, I knew he was very driven even when we got together when I was twenty.

DP is a lecturer, so his hours are really unpredictable. Some weeks he will work up to a 14 hour day to get everything done on time, but the trade-off of course is that he gets decent long holidays. He does a lot of research and writes during the holidays, but this is really flexible so we can have some solid family time. He does work seven days a week though, so it's hard sometimes.

Between us we earn enough to have a comfortable life (we're not rich but we're not on the breadline either), and things could be a lot more difficult. As I always say on these threads, we are only in the position we are in now because DP's parents have helped us massively in the past. My mum and his parents continue to help with CC, so we have no costs there.

Between 60 - 80 and this quite often includes weekends too. Was even worse when ds was little as he had a very long commute as well. I have had to learn to adjust as it has meant we now live in a house rather than the flat we were in with a big garden. I know how you feel though x

My Dp works 4 days a week, flexible hrs and short commute, software engineer, he usually goes about 8.30 and is back at 5.20. I work 5 days a week, but very variable hours.

We pay for both being around a lot and with flexible hours though, it does affect promotion and pay over the years you do it. That's a choice we made but it didn't just happen, DP has had to fight very hard in his sector to get part time work, they don't like it.