I'll try and keep it brief.
Step FIL left MIL in the middle of this year (can't remember exactly when). He has a long term illness that will only get worse and is really struggling to deal with it. He has apparently been unhappy for the last 2 years but it is only now that he has done something about it and that is to leave MIL.
At first I was sympathetic to MIL, it was a out of the blue for her (so she says but even if SFIL had given blatant clues she wouldn't have listened, she never does). I listened to her crying down the phone when I was trying to deal with DCs, I encouraged DH to go and see her more as she was lonely and upset.
Well now I am fucking fed up and feeling like we are being guilted and used. DH is also fed up but it is his mother so he tolerates a certain amount.
When she was with her ex, we barely heard from her, she would maybe ring once a month, see DH and the kids once a month, if that. Now she is needy and constantly wants to know when DH is going over. She has never been interested in what we do at Christmas as it was just her and her ex which is how she wanted it, now she is interested in what we are doing. I know part of the issue was her ex didn't see enough of his children and grandchild but MIL just wanted the 2 of them to go out and do things all the time and we only saw her when her ex was working.
Now she is moaning about how much money he may get in benefits (its not much at all) saying about he "he's going to be alright" when she works 15 hours a week, has no mortgage, still gets a pension from DHs dad who died and she was having an affair at the time - but she has no morals in spending that money each month 13 years later. She has over £50 per week to spend AFTER everything is paid but moans that she has no money and asks how is she going to pay for her bus fare and hair dye!
The house is half hers, half her ex. They paid it off with the money she got when her husband died and money that her new DH had so it is half his. He wants to sell the house. She doesn't. She wants him to have to spend money and said (laughing) that he will have to pay £500 to take her to court. Solicitor has told her that he can't force her to sell and she is beaming.
I know he left her but I can't believe how vindictive she is being. He is very ill, he wants to buy a 1 bed flat with the money from his house sale. She is moaning about not wanting to live in a flat and she can't afford to buy anything (she also has 30k sat in the bank). Now she is going to refuse to move and her her ex to take her to court just so he has to pay out more money.
I think she is being ridiculous. Surely the final outcome will be that the house has to be sold so all she is doing is dragging it out and desparately trying to inconvenience a sick man who she claims to love, unfortunately her doesn't love her anymore. His reason for leaving is "the love is gone" a nice way of telling her he doesn't love her but all she says is "I don't understand why he left".
I really did feel sorry for her and still do to a certain extent but I am getting really fed up with the neediness and tbh selfishness. There is more bits and pieces but trying to keep it shortish.