To think InterFlora delivery people shouldn't pass comment

[KurriKurri]

on the flowers they are delivering?

This morning my SIL sent me flowers, I opened the door to a grinning delivery man who said 'Oooh lucky you, is it your birthday?'

Um no, my Dad died, they are 'thinking of you' flowers'.

Now he was embarrassed and apologised profusely, and there was absolutely no malicious intent, and I can smile about his faux pas. But if the folk delivering flowers to my mum last week had all made chirpy remarks like that, she'd have been a bit upset.

Or am I being over sensitive because of the circumstances?

yabu and you don't sound over sensitive. I've presumed it was standard practice not to pass comment on why someone is receiving flowers, a "they're beautiful" at the very most. You didn't go off on one, he made a mistake, you were caught off guard and replied perfectly nicely. You don't sound over sensitive now.

Really sorry to hear about your loss :(

YANBU

Anyone delivering anything should simply say, "Good morning/afternoon. Delivery for you. Please sign here (if appropriate)". There sould be no other remarks unless recipient says something in a friendly manner.

It's so annoying when people, eg shop asistants or waiters say, "Have a nice day" when you could be sad or miserable for a real reason.

Completely agree they shouldn't pass comment. I had a beautiful bouquet of Lillies delivered when my dd died. Delivery guy said 'Oooh aren't you a lucky lady'! I know Lillies aren't just a bereavement flower but they are associated with. I just mumbled that they were sympathy flowers. 3 days later, same guy, more Lillies. This time he said 'oooh what have you done to deserve these'

YANBU and I'm so about your Dad x

I do agree with you OP. But I think he's learned his lesson the hard way and won't make that mistake again, so I wouldn't report him or the incident.

I can remember trying to order flowers for our sons funeral and the girl in the shop asking enthusiastically if we were planning our wedding. Neither of us knew how to answer and I just blurted out "No, our baby's funeral." She was embarrassed and upset too, but she meant no harm.

I'm really sorry for your loss OP. I hope that you have gentler days from now on.

YANBU sorry for your loss.

I'm surprised that this isn't one of the things that the delivery people or anyone working for a florist isn't advised about when hired. It should be.

Regardless of how well meaning he might have meant it, he should have realised that people don't just receive flowers for birthdays or happy occasions.

I don't think you're being over sensitive and hopefully now you've made him aware you've saved him from potentially upsetting anyone else.

Poor bloke just trying to be nice,.Well, as they say 'no good deed goes unpunished'

I am very sorry for the loss of your dad.
He meant no harm but you are right - delivery people should be a bit more clued up about who the potential recipient is going to be given that funeral/bereavement flowers are often the core business of florists.

YANBU. And I'm surprised Interflora don't have a policy in place to stop this happening. Many people only have family flowers at funerals so other people send them to the house. It is good that you pulled him on it as now he'll know not to pass comment next time and will hopefully go back to his branch and share his foot in mouth experience so other people will avoid doing the same.

Sorry meant yaNbu earlier, not yabu

Interflora is just a relay company. The customer orders the flowers. The order gets sent to a florist, who gets a small cut of the money, the florist makes the order and delivers it. Given that the florist would see the sympathy code on the order, and have written the message into the card, I'm guessing the well meaning but misguided delivery man was an outside courier. I've worked with Interflora before, and we've never ever had a special Interflora delivery service. He wouldn't have known any better (promise) and it may be that he doesn't deliver flowers that often.

That said, YANBU to be upset at all. I'm sure he meant well, even though it might not seem like it at the moment, but he should have just kept quiet. Deepest sympathies for the loss of your dad.

Many thanks all for your comments (even those who think IABU )

I wouldn't want to report the guy, -he was a young chap, and he certainly wasn't rude or unpleasant, just said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and he apologised for his mistake. I'm sure he won't do it again. Which is good because I wouldn't want it to happen to anyone who would be very upset by it.

Unfortunately, it doesn't take much to upset you at times like these. It's tough to go through and my sympathies go out to all of you who posted about your lost loved ones.

Hugh the only reason you're asked is to tailor the card. Have a look on the website - the same flowers appear for multiple occasions.

YANBU, any comment may well be out of order. Flowers I got were from someone I didn't want to receive them from, and the cheery comment from the delivery woman compounded the dismay.

Kurri Sorry for your loss.
You did the best thing possible in that situation, you politely explained the reason.
The delivery guy had good intentions and he'll quite rightly think twice next time. A lesson learnt for him.

Unless flowers are clearly for a celebration (baby balloon, or inflatable champagne bottle attached))
I'd crawl over broken glass before sending something quite so chavvy.

YABU, OP - they man was trying to make conversation.