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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be cross my dh wont go to the doctor

36 replies

callmedizzy · 09/12/2011 13:02

My dh has been complaining about getting headaches for about a year and takes many paracetamol, now he told me yesterday (only because I saw) that he gets nose bleeds along with headaches (could be high blood pressure)....he didnt want to tell me because he knew i would tell him to see dr, which I did, I got cross with him and told him i would make app and i would be cross if he left me with 3 young children, but he is still refusing to go!! What to do??? ( his Dad passsed a couple of years ago withheart problems, he could be worried)

OP posts:

JackMatthias · 12/12/2011 12:07

As a man, there are a number of reasons, none of which are excuses, which can add up to a "I'm not going to see the doctor" stance.

The first is fear of the unknown, which has been well-covered here thus far. Added to that is the inconvenience (perceived or real) - it's not somewhere where you can just 'pop in' on the way to or from work; you have to make an appointment, take time out of the workplace etc. (Of course, it's as much if not more inconvenient for a SAHM to do, but somehow they usually manage it, but hey!). There's also the insurance aspect to consider: applications for cover like life and critical illness insurance instantly become much much more problematic and more expensive once your medical notes disclose you've been treated for something serious, even if the illness or condition was ultimately cured or didn't develop further. I remember having to apply for comprehensive cover after I'd been diagnosed with depression and was on Prozac, and my premium quote instantly jumped by over 30% when they found that out, and it's made me think at least twice before going to see a quack for anything potentially more serious than an ingrowing toenail, just in case I have to renew or increase the cover at any point.

So there may be any number of combos of reasons (those are just the ones above which I can think of off the top of my head) why your DH is reluctant to darken the door of his GP's practice.

Just my £0.02

GnomeDePlume · 12/12/2011 12:13

One of the things which has helped my DH to get himself checked out from time to time was my stance of

'Have you been to the doctor to find out what the problem is? No? Then dont expect any sympathy from me'

Harsh I know but I got fed up with the 'woe is me' without any willingness to do anything sensible about it.

I would also stop buying huge quantities of paracetamol.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 12/12/2011 12:16

My mum died of a brain anuerysm. Apparently she would have been suffering from headaches for a long time beforehand, I know she took a lot of painkillers.

Get him to go, even if you have to drag him by the hair, or pretend you are going somewhere else, or get the doc to do a home visit.

Original poster

callmedizzy · 12/12/2011 12:46

Right, I put my foot down over the weekend he has promised to go if he gets another headache!!! Stuborn!! I have been giving no sympathy, i tell him that he wont get any unless he gets checked!! I tried the what if it were theother way round, I have tried nagging and getting the kids to nag too, I have read all the links you have suggested...I found these very interesting and gave me some more ammunition, have stopped buying paracetamol and have hidden the ones in the cupboard (no he is not likely to buy his own) he is off most of this week so i will badgr him til he gives in, I think he is just scared, nothing wrong with me syndrome, thank you all for your help i will let you know how we go :o

OP posts:

MorelliOrRanger · 12/12/2011 13:53

Fingers crossed, you can wear him down :)

redexpat · 12/12/2011 14:02

All of the above, and if talking to him fails, bribe him. With a blowjob.

JackMatthias · 12/12/2011 14:59

Er...perhaps best not when he has one of the headaches, though!

maypole1 · 12/12/2011 15:28

I would stage a intervention can you not book in his name tell him the appointment is for the children then once he is in the room just blurt it out

Nose bleeds and headaches are very worrying

ceebie · 12/12/2011 16:15

Promising to go if he gets another headache is not good enough, he is just doing anything to fob you off for a bit longer. If he is off this week then it's an ideal opportunity to go now. Are you able to go with him and would that help or not?

ceebie · 12/12/2011 16:17

My DH is a dedicated carnivore. I once said that I was only going to cook vegetarian meals henceforth until he did whatever it was that I had been badgering him to do for months on end.

ceebie · 14/12/2011 21:10

dizzy have you managed to get him to go to the GP yet?

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