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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this doctor's wrong about my baby?

89 replies

WhiteTrash · 09/12/2011 12:30

I posted two days ago about my 6 month old babys bad health (currently bad chest and frequent waking) here

Hes been waking every 15 mins for 6 nights now, hes been chesty and ill with no improvement for 7 days so I took him to the doctors this morning, I just wanted to check it wasnt an infection anywhere.

She listened to his chest which is clear, its just a nasty cough. But said he has infections in his ears and a viral throat infection as well. He has green and clear running from his nose and a temp thats being kept down by calpol and nurofen.

She refused to give me antibiotics, said they wouldnt help. Now, I know they wont help a virus, but they may well help infected ears and given the he my baby has been through recently (see link) surely it would be better to not let him ride it out?

At one point she said she didnt want to give antibiotics for 'the good of the community' I couldnt give a sparkly christmas shit about the community, I care about my baby who hasnt been well in months (one thing or the other).

Is she right? AIBU to think shes a nob whos prolonging my babys suffering?

OP posts:
TheRealTillyMinto · 09/12/2011 15:06

YABU. what if your baby is the one to get an antibiotic resistant infection? someone's child will. lots of children will in the future.

valiumredhead · 09/12/2011 15:09

If your baby needed anti b's the doctor would be negligent if he didn't prescribe them, so I doubt he (or she) is just with holding them for the good of the community.

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 09/12/2011 15:13

I know what you mean about parental instinct, and there is something to it. But some people take this to mean "mummy knows best" about everything, which can be downright dangerous. When it comes to medical matters, the majority of the time, the doctor knows best.

valiumredhead · 09/12/2011 15:15

Mummy doesn't always know best though - this mummy was POSITIVE I needed anti b's for my ear and I didn't at all.

olgaga · 09/12/2011 15:24

It is possible to have a viral infection AND a bacterial infection - but it's usually the case that if there is a bacterial infection, then your baby will have a temperature with or without paracetamol. I'd leave it until Monday for a follow-up visit.

I think if you turn up at A&E with a baby without a temperature, you'll be in for a long and uncomfortable wait - but maybe that's just my area!

Raising his cot, as fantagrape suggests, will help at night. Try adding a few drops of Olbas oil or similar to a bath before bedtime (baths are quite soothing and decongestant anyway), and put a few drops on a muslin in the baby's room.

I do feel for you though, this is the worst time of year for viruses. It's just awful with a poorly baby, because the sleep deprivation makes you even more stressed and worried.

olgaga · 09/12/2011 15:27

And by the way, a few drops of olive oil (any olive oil, from the supermarket) on cotton wool earplugs will also soothe your baby's ears.

MissMollyCoddle · 09/12/2011 15:29

No of course mummy doesn't always know best, and no one is telling the OP to go back and demand antiBs BUT if she is still concerned and particularly if she didn't feel she had a good standard of care the first time, it is perfectly appropriate to go back and have him checked again.

NeuromanticisedVisionsofXmas · 09/12/2011 15:33

Nothing wrong with a second opinion, but I fear OP will be footstamping and complaining if the next doctor says the same, which is quite likely.

kelly2000 · 09/12/2011 16:59

The doctor's duty of care is for the patient they are treating not the other patients, or the community. They cannot refuse to treat a person for the greater good.

See another doctor, to find out if it is a bacterial infection.

Moominsarescary · 09/12/2011 17:11

Don't put anything in the ears, you can make them sore.

sheepgomeep · 09/12/2011 17:15

rockinhippy this happened to dd3 last christmas when she was 8 months old.

took dd3 to see a doctor at our local surgery on xmas eve only to be told that in her opinion she was just had a cold and we were fussing and keep dosing her up with calpol etc. She was clearly unwell.

Early hours boxing day she was rushed to hospital by ambulance as she had breathing difficulties and low oxygen levels.., turned out she had bronchiolitus. A and e wanted to know why she wasnt brought in on xmas eve and they shook thier heads when I told them that the doctor said she was fine.

festivehellokitty · 09/12/2011 17:25

i would also see another dr

working9while5 · 09/12/2011 17:44

I don't think there's anything wrong with questioning a GP's advice if you feel unsure.

When ds was 4 months old and exclusively breastfed he had a tummy bug which I had too and a GP told me that I should put him on formula. I said, erm, no... and GP said "well if you want to be a martyr to the feeding"... as if just choosing to wean him in the middle of gastroenteritis would have been fun for either of us. He said I could also give him 7-up in a bottle if I was "funny about formula" Hmm.

A different GP recently told me that all babies over six months have to have special follow-on milk "or they will get rickets". Really?

In this case, the GP thinks the ear infection is viral so is most probably making a prudent decision not to prescribe antibiotics BUT I don't like the attitude that GP's shouldn't be questioned.. because perhaps that needs to be explained in more detail to the OP as she clearly doesn't understand why an antibiotic hasn't been given and was confused about the diagnosis she was given.

GP's are great and very qualified etc but sometimes they do peddle old wives' tales as medical knowledge and I for one think patients need to feel comfortable asking questions and having second opinions as a GP can't always get it right in ten mins. That doesn't mean this GP is wrong though!

valiumredhead · 09/12/2011 18:34

I think it was more likely the that the Gp said they wouldn't prescribe unnecessary anti b's for the good of the community kelly which is different from ' I won't prescribe them even though they are needed.'

pooka · 09/12/2011 18:38

Don't know if anyone else has said this, but quite often is both ears are inflamed its viral rather than bacterial. Or at least that's what I've gathered thought the 3 dcs. Dd used to especially prone to ear infections and would generally get antibiotics when she had one ear raging red.

Original poster
WhiteTrash · 09/12/2011 18:49

Its gone from bad to worse at the minute hes been howling all afternoon and pulling on his ears despite the pain meds. Its as though he bloomin understood the conversation. Still, we're going to see what tomorrow brings.

I too do not always believe 'mum knows best'. Im first to admit being wrong with ds1 before. But ear infections suck, my child had been through the mill, Ive been let down by HCP's recently, had him misdiagnosed and have much less trust in them then I did 6 months ago. Yes she maybe right. But its been 7 days, it getting worse not better and pain meds arent even doing the job. I think she is wrong. Again.

OP posts:
olgaga · 09/12/2011 18:49

Hi Moominsarescary - I agree you shouldn't put anything like a cotton bud in a baby's ears, and/or poke around. Olive oil drops will obviously not relieve an ear infection, but bear in mind we are assuming there is an infection. A doctor advised me that if the ear is infected there is no wax visible at all, it is dispersed by the temperature in the ear - so if earwax is visible, they will always assume there is no bacterial ear infection.

If it's the doctor's view that there is no infection, then a few drops of olive oil will help soften and disperse any hard wax, which may be the cause of discomfort.

It's not easy to administer drops of olive oil into a restless baby's ear. So an alternative is to soak a cotton wool plug with a little olive oil, and place it in the outer ear - not shove it in the ear canal or anything like that - and obviously you wouldn't make it so small that that could happen by accident.

Sorry if I didn't make that clear - but this always worked for DD who always had ear problems with a cold until she was about 8!

valiumredhead · 09/12/2011 19:00

If there is any hard wax, it will come out anyway with the baby having a temperature - nothing should be put in the ear. And if it IS an infection it is not recommended that cotton wool is put in the outer ear as this can raise the temperature and the germs can multiply (or something!)

Anyway - do NOT put ANYTHING in or near the ear.

valiumredhead · 09/12/2011 19:02

OP see how your ds is tonight and then go and see an OOH doctor tomorrow if you need a second opinion.

Original poster
WhiteTrash · 09/12/2011 19:05

He had hard wax recently. Man alive that was painful for him too, olive oil fixed that in a few days. Tbh when I went today hed been pulling at his ears for over a week now I fully expected her to say they were blocked again. I wasnt expecting infected.

OP posts:
MissMollyCoddle · 09/12/2011 20:14

WhiteTrash I hope you a better night tonight, if it gets much worse call the OOH doctor if you need to.

valiumredhead · 10/12/2011 18:55

How was he last night OP?

Chynah · 10/12/2011 20:03

Take him back.

I used to have to do this about once a month with DS.

It would go like this:
Take him to doctor - I think he has tonsilitis (gets it a lot) they would look and say looks a little red but I don't think so. I would go home DS would get horribly ill so I would end up back there next morning or in A&E and it would be diagnosed as tonsilitis (shock!) and antibiotics given.

Thankfuly no more as now had them removed but just shows you sometimes need to go back and see someone else.

Interestingly once we went private I was given antibiotics to keep at home just in case as they trusted my judgement as it happened so often.

Original poster
WhiteTrash · 10/12/2011 20:16

It wasnt great. He'd usually go down at 6.30ish and wake a lot but have fitful sleep but he woke fully at 8pm really screaming and pulling his ear after a couple of hours of dp and I pacing up and down with him trying to calm him we called the OOH doctor who didnt arrange to see him just faxed a antibiotic prescription to our nearest late night chemist (!!) so we had the other extreme! I got the impression they were super busy and DP said the chemist was rammed.

We realised the antibiotics would never stop the tears, pain or help him sleep better but we were worried at the rate it was getting worse.

So I guess I got the result I kind of wanted.

Although if his ear gets better in the next few days I could say it was the antibiotics but no doubt the doctor would say the virus had naturally run its course.

So Id never be able to say for sure that she was right, or myself.

OP posts:
chocablock · 10/12/2011 20:33

You poor thing and your poor baby! My dd only a couple of months older than yours so I know how worrying it is when they are feeling ill. I don't like the idea of antibiotics myself as they kill all the bacteria including the good bacteria and they tend to cause other infections. BUT they are sometimes needed when infections just wont go away. I suggest going to a new doctor and getting a 2nd opinion. Good luck xx

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