to think that if your child does not want to participate...

[mrswoz]

...in a whole-school themed dressing up day (Edwardian, in our case) that they should wear their usual full uniform to school instead? Not choose to dress as a pirate/Disney princess/whatever other costume just happens to be in the dressing up box?

The event was well detailed in a newsletter 2 months ago, as the school is celebrating its centenary year and tonight is the Edwardian Christmas Fayre. The children and staff were asked to dress as Edwardians for the whole day and some suggestions were given on what constitutes Edwardian dress. So I took that to mean that it was dressing up for a particular reason, not just a mufti day, after all, the children get to choose their own clothes next week on their party day.

So parents have had over 2 months to sort out something for children to wear - AIBU to think that the ones who have let their children go to school in any other costume, are undermining the majority of parents who have made a good effort at an Edwardian costume?

DS (5 and a half) wasn't very keen to wear his outfit, but he helped to choose it and after some encouragement this morning he agreed to wear it - he is quite shy and has in the past not wanted to do 'dressing up' - I completely understand cos I myself hate dressing up! (I should mention I would never have forced him to wear it, I would simply have sent him to school IN UNIFORM, with the costume in his bag so that he could change and join in if he felt brave enough later in the day) But what will I say when he comes out of school and says 'oh so and so was dressed as a pirate/gangster/cowboy'? I know that he will question it as he's just that sort of boy!

yanbu
but we know some parents will just cave in to their little ones.
shame the school couldn't send them home to get changed

I wouldn't give it too much thought. DD1 hates dressing up (as in fancy dress, she's happy with normal mufti day) but she usually goes along in a simple costume of some kind just to blend in, because she thinks she stands out more if she goes in uniform. I remember once she forgot that it was mufti day and she had to put up with mildly teasing comments all day from both teachers and kids about being the only one in her uniform.

I don't think you are being unreasonable, but the ones who have made an effort will be noticed where the others will just look a bit random for the want of a better word, so it's not like the ones who want to participate will have missed out.

I used to give this a lot of thought with DD1. 2 kids later I really don't bother about these things. As long as the DCs are happy it's all fine with me.

I really really can't begin to imagine why on earth you care

Personally, I think the school is being a bit unreasonable having such an awkward theme for a dressing up day. My sons don't have blazers or plus-four trousers or long socks or ties. The only long dresses my daughter has are princess dresses. It sounds like a big pain to me.

Sometimes schools need to understand that this is just 'homework' for the parents and not everyone has time to sort these things out.

My DS1 hates dressing up days and we usually fit the theme around him wearing jeans and a t shirt. However in this instance that obviously would not be possible so ues he would have gone in uniform instead.

Our school recently did a 'help for heroes' day. Prior to the event, there had been much discussion about what constituted a hero as opposed to a celebrity, etc. Most of the school came as doctors, nurses, soldiers, etc. But there were a few supermen, disney princesses, etc.

Then, at the end of the day, they gave out certificates for the best costumes and they went to the tooth fairy and Batman. Thus completely defeating the whole object of the whole Help for Heroes thing. I was, if not fuming, then at least mildly exasperated.

So I can see your point, but at the end of the day, it probably doesn't really matter!

YANBU. Also football shirts on world book day when you're supposed to come dressed as your favourite literary character.

It's circus day at my DS1 school today and he has gone in wearing jeans!

He flatly refused. No coaxing or bribing would seduce him to the idea. Now if it were a Superhero day - that would be a different story.

I took his uniform in and checked with his teacher that he could wear jeans - all fine.

Contribution was paid - that was the point of the day. What's the problem?

Not really a problem. I'd never tell a child they couldn't wear something outside the original brief.... but on a personal level it irks me!

More important the child participates, enjoys themselves and learns something from it.

I had a child in my class who refused to wear pyjamas for Children in Need (I think). His mum was really bothered, I said not to worry but suggested she brought some in so that he could get changed into them if he wanted to. He didn't and even the sight of my in my snuggly jarmies, dressing gown and slippers wasn't enough to persuade him. He laughed at me plenty though !

If it's a themed day, then I do think you should dress to fit the theme or go in uniform.

I'd expect a very broad interpretation of the theme, though. And a less awkward one than Edwardian too.

Re. the heroes thing - superman batman etc ARE heroes. i know what you're getting at and it's very worthy, but still, i can't imagine what discussion around it could have concluded that they aren't heroes.

BluddyMoFo I read so many threads/posts on MN and think that exact same thing! Lovely to see it articulated

As a hater of a) bought costumes and b) people who say their kids 'refuse' to do something, I'm right with you but I suspect that a) most people on here will disagree and b) we care too much about something that really isn't that big a deal

Thanks for your useful replies, it's been good to get some other thoughts on this. There was no contribution to pay so it's not like it was all about fundraising. I know some children can be particularly stubborn (for all kinds of reasons we may never know!) and if they don't want to join in there is nothing much even a parent can do about it. True, Edwardian is not the easiest of themes to pick but I can see why they chose it. Seriously tho how long does it take to find a check shirt/old waistcoat/flat cap, anything that makes a gesture towards it at least shows willingness to join in.

I am trying to keep in mind that it is meant to be a fun day and yes I suppose for the littlest ones it will be their first foray into 'dressing up for school' which could be a bit scary. I felt it necessary to add the bit about not forcing DS to wear his outfit cos unfortunately I did see one mum walking her sobbing boy down the road to school after I'd dropped DS off, he was dragging his heels and his mum was crossly telling him 'you see there was no need for that, I told you everybody will be dressed the same'. The poor boy is probably by now enjoying a nice normal day at school, but wondering why his mum made him wear that stuff when some other kids are dressed as randoms.

No, it isn't that important in the grand scheme of things - it just happened to annoy me earlier and I wanted other opinions on it. It will be forgotten about by next week, although I am expecting a battle with DS next time it is some kind of fancy dress!

Yabu, maybe people couldn't afford to buy costumes and are crap at sewing. I wouldn't have a clue what to do for an Edwardian day tbh, but they didn't want their kids to feel totally left out. It sounds a bit more complicated than the usual wear pyjamas or vague theme that you can probably adapt something you've already got at home.