To wonder if a traumatic event could be the cause of the problem?

[JinglingAllTheWay]

DD Has never had a weight problem, always been a totally normal weight and eaten fine. Quite a few years ago now, grandad was babysitting her and had a stroke. She witnessed whole thing .grandad pulled through and is okay, but took a good 6 months before he was able to really spend time with us properly etc.
Literally within weeks of this happening, dd started putting on weight. We've been to doctors and dieticians etc and there is nothing physically wrong, no thyroid problems, diabetes, nothing.

This was quite a few years back now and she is still big, her younger brother is totally normal weight ( he wasn't born when it happened).

We've tried every diet with Her and nothing works. A lady at work suggested it could be emotional... Is this possible as if so, what can I do about it?

AIBU to think this is possible? DH says its not and I know some people don't believe that traumatic events can affect other areas of your life but I really think this is the case.

Yes, I am sure it is quite possible that trauma can affect the delicate balances of the body- metabolism and so on.

Can you be absolutely certain she isn't hoarding food, getting extra snacks off friends at school etc. ? If you are totally sure about her food intake, and it's within reasonable limits, I would return to the doctor, because whether the trauma is connected or not, you need a way forward to try to address the issue. But it maybe that there is a logical explanation.

Thanks yeah sounds like good idea

I don't know Jingling could be the trauma. I'm in a similar situation with DS1 though there's not trauma I can think of. Every member of my family has lost a little flab since I started on Slimming World, because I'm cooking very low fat meals and watching portion sizes. DS1 hasn't lost anything and is rather chubby (always been tall but never chunky like he is now) I've looked at exercise, curbing treats, all sorts and nothing appears to work. His GP thinks there is such a thing as normal 'puppy fat' (though it is an excuse for many) but its a real conundrum.

I'm hoping that on his next growth spurt it will sort itself out, and he's not gaining weight so that's a good thing. I was the same as a child but that was down to over eating alone (even at 8 I was a secret fridge raider). I'm wondering if he's grazing from the fridge without me knowing, but nothing appears to be missing!

When you say emotional, I assume you don't mean she's comfort eating rather her body is storing fat due to an emotional response??

It may well be the event that caused her to comfort eat.
But if she is inclined toward overeating as a coping mechanism, then the weight problem would have come about at some pont or another, iyswim.

When you say diets dont work, do yoy mean she finds them hard to stick to?

I dint know what to suggest really. I think lots of people struggle with emotional over (or under) eating.

I will say though that focusing on reducing carbs rather than opting for a low fat way of eating can be really useful for some people at reducing the overwhelming urge to eat.

How old is she? And how old was she when this happened?

I think it could be but depending on her age could be a lot of things.

I don't mean emotional as in the comfort eating sense, I mean emotional as in her body's reaction to it all.

She's 12 now, happened at 5.

I think YABU for her weight problems to have been caused in the manner you're hypothesizing. I do think plain old-fashioned comfort eating could well be related tho.

Uh... I dont think i understand you then.

Are you asking if upsetting events can make someone fat? Like, nothing to do with food - no overeating - but as a direct result? No.

If your daughter is overweight, and has been for the last 7 years then it is because she is eating too much. Sorry to sound harsh but trying to find some fantastical explanation will do her no favours.

When you say diets havent worked, do you mean she finds it hard to stick to them? You've had her checked for underlying thyroid problems, so if she consumes less energy than she expends then she will lose weight. Did the dietician offer a healthy eating plan?

Yeah, we have had everything checked.

No its not that she can't stick to it, it's just that she can't seem to loose the weight.

We go on bike rides, she does ballet and swimming every week and has a healthy diet. The dietician said there was nothing wrong with her diet and everything they recommended we were already doing. They were totally useless tbh, maybe we just had a crap one but who knows.

She's not massive, but her bmi puts her as 'overweight' for her age.

A friend who is into alternative type medicines and therapies suggested that maybe it was the traumatic event in her life that caused her to put on weight and said she can't loose it till she emotionally 'Lets go' of things. Hence me coming on here to ask if people thought this was a possible cause/reason.

I doubt you'd gain weight due to a traumatic event if you don't over eat and you get enough exercise.

I do however think (and I don't mean you specifically OP) that parents grossly underestimate just how much exercise kids need.

Back in the days when it was totally normal for kids aged 4yrs+ to play out all day every day, there were very few overweight children...despite the fact beef dripping on toast and jam roly poly were often a staple part of their diet.

I think it's really key to focus on her self esteem and try not to make too much of an obvious thing about her weight. I think it would be better to focus on healthy eating rather than strict dieting and above all make it really clear she is loved and accepted the size she is, you may think it goes without saying but she may need it really spelt out. It may just be her natural shape or puppy fat, it is a common time to gain weight and may not be connected to the traumatic event. Just be aware of not setting her on a path of an unhealthy relationship with food and dieting that could be hard to shake off in later life. (not that I'm scarred by my experience or anything!)