to hate fucking bedtime...

[normaleggy]

JUST SIT FUCKING STILL WHILE I BRUSH YOUR FUCKING HAIR!!
STOP CLOSING YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SO I CAN CLEAN YOUR FUCKING TEETH!!
STOP FUCKING WRIGGLING WHILE I PUT YOUR FUCKING PYJAMAS ON!!
DON'T KEEP FUCKING GETTING OUT OF FUCKING BED!!
JUST FUCKING GO TO FUCKING SLEEP!!

Sorry just unloading on here as I would obviously never say any of this in real life even though it is going through my mind.

Oh and what's this brushing hair you speak off

YANBU.

Are they old enough to just do teeth, face and hands morning and evening and perhaps a bath every 3/4 days? It's what I got until I was old enough to shower on my own!

As for crying with the whole teeth brushing, I just say in a breezy voice; 'Oh good DS, you're crying. That makes it so much easier for me to reach the back... Can you scream a bit louder please?' Hes started to give up. I also let him 'finish off' which I clear away the mayhem of toys/sort pj's out.

If they fuss with pj's; fine. They can go to bed naked (barring nappies) and have an extra blanket. They'll soon give up on that one.

You're doing great. I couldn't be a single parent. I admire your strength.

Thank god for this thread. I read some other thread on here where another poster was criticised for allowing their bedtime settling to take 90 minutes, and I'd just been at it for 4 HOURS! . On the up side, we appear to have turned a corner

this thread is me all over

Its got a lot better since I decided that I wasn't attacking it in the right way

one night I decided to tell them everything in a funny voice and walk funny

it kind of took the stress out of it for me and they thought I was so funny, it went a bit smoother

I used to have stints at my folks when dh was working away and bedtimes do seem worse when im not in my own house.

I hate the constant reminding them to take their next bite of their dinner, how 2 children can get distracted by NOTHING every night when they have food infront of them in beyond me.

oh and no way would I bath them every night

teeth brushing is a must

they can sleep naked, knickers, wells, I don't give a shit

but teeth brushing is a must, I have bought childs mouthwash and they aren\t allowed it unless they brush their teeth properly, that has helped a lot

btw my killer bedtime monsters are 6 and 4 and I have spoilt them the last two years so discipline has lacked and we are trying to bring it back

that was meant to say wellies, damn auto correct

Is the reminding them to eat while they're staring vacantly into space normal then? I thought it was just my house

my don't have time to stare into space, they are too busy whinging about what is on their plate and not wanting to eat it

today dd2 sat down and within 30 seconds said muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum , I not hungry

I just sighed and said fine, don't eat it, if you;re not hungry thats fine but there will be no food on offer till tea
UNDERSTAND?

30 mins later she threw up

You guys are great. I wish I'd had MN when mine were small, I would have known that I wasn't alone. Loving especially the child that resembles a small brambly hedge. Mine are big teens now and go to bed after me.

Thinking of which, this used to work on DS aged around 6 - 11yrs after hours of bedtime shenanigans...

"Mummy's going to bed now, so if you need anything before you go to bed you'd better tell me now because I will be asleep soon".

"I don't care if you don't go to bed but I am because I'm tired"

This really used to work.

Yes I forgot to mention that this is all preceded by the joy that is dinner time!
"Please use your fork, not your fingers/don't throw it on the floor/have you finished? Then why are you leaving the table/well you liked it last time you had it/don't blow bubbles into your drink at the table/ds, would you like to try something other than potato, egg or spaghetti?/why have you got down again/look, just FUCKING SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR FUCKING DINNER!!

normaleggym you should write a book

you're very funny

Love this thread DD just went to sleep after 3rd trip downstairs to use the toilet but she's just out of nappies so I'm not too bothered its just driving me mad that she doesn't do anything half the time its an excuse to get up and I can't refuse incase she really does want to go plus when she gets back in bed she wants a story or juice or any amount of cuddly toys from the bottom of the toy box and now I got settled and she's up again, dc2 due in 6 weeks shattered is not the word thank god for she is also a brambly looking creature

Its a bastard nightmare. I now get them bathed early and they all sleep in my bed. We used to spend hours trying to settle a 4,2 and a 1 year old all with their different issues. I was pissed off with spending my whole evening up and down the fekkin stairs trying different "methods" One night I just let them all in our bed, they went straight to sleep and slept well all night. Husband sleeps in the kids bedroom, he is just glad to get his head down

At exactly 5pm my two turn into wailing terrors. What is it with 5pm??

DD wails because she wants cake and not lasagne for dinner (2.5 years) and dinner takes so fecking long DS (5months) gets over tired and starts wailing.

Both howling thru bath time.

And when they both fell asleep just before 7 I did too. Didn't wake up until DS 11pm feed so missed evening (and dinner!) with DH and am now awake and can't sleep. Argh.

But yes OP, I do feel where you are coming from.

I am actually glad to hear it isn't just me who has the fun and games for bath and bed time.

Well tonight went better, been out all day got back about 8, kids asleep in car so chucked them straight into bed, in their clothes, no bath, no teeth or hair brushed.

Job done

My son actually got himself into such a stress because he wanted mummy to put him to bed but we insisted it was Daddy's turn he was actually sick.

Ooh went well tonight, all jobs done and asleep within half an hour! But then...
At 10 ds wakes, writhing about in some discomfort, then does the longest fart in known history and goes back to sleep.
20 minutes later dd appears at the top of the stairs, tells me off for not being in bed, then asks if she can come down and look in her advent calender.
30 minutes later ds wakes again with a nappy the size of a small country.
I change and settle him and dd wakes again asking for a drink.
I am now laying in bed with ds falling asleep on my arm and squeezing the living bejesus out of my nipple (don't ask!)