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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be quite amused?

30 replies

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:04

Things had been going well until lately. All a rouse to get me hand over access to the savings I suspect. He realised a few days ago he is not getting the card back and is back into full on fuckwit mode (it probably doesn't help the case that it is dd1's birthday which requires money to be spent and attention to be given to someone other than himself)

While I was in the middle of watching somethibg (downloaded) off itunes he tried to start an argument to no avail. Annoyed that he was getting no answers and thus had nothing to argue with he walked around the house switching off all the lights, he unplugged the ethernet cable from the router and then declared "We can all be arseholes. I'm going out and I'm taking your phone with me"

I am mildly amused with this odd behaviour but confused as to what he thought it would achieve. (We have a landline phone that he did not take with him)

OP posts:

oflip · 08/12/2011 20:09

erm, are you talking about your teenage son?

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:10

Unfortunately not. Just an adult baby who is supposed to be my equal.

OP posts:

molepomandmistletoe · 08/12/2011 20:10

Who are you talking about?

molepomandmistletoe · 08/12/2011 20:11

Not your DH/DP?

What a wanker.

oflip · 08/12/2011 20:11

oooh, just checked out your profile...you dont have a teenage son do you...you are talking about your dp/dh...

what a cock.

Spoiled brattish cock..

what you gonna do?

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 08/12/2011 20:11

So you live together? Sorry dooin, I know I have read about this situation are you still a couple, or just sharing the same house?

whamfan · 08/12/2011 20:16

My lord.

Lock the door from the inside and leave the keys in the door so he can't get back in.

Two can play that game.

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:18

In my mind just sharing a house. In his mind fuck only knows. He keeps asking if I love him. I keep telling him no. He keeps telling me I am lying

I'm not going to do anything oflip, just yet anyway, it's dd1's birthday tomorrow so I am going to completely ignore him so it doesn't spoil her day.

OP posts:

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 08/12/2011 20:21

He tells you you are lying?

Please be careful. It's a bit worrying that he won't accept what you are telling him.

Have you any plans to try to get him out of the house / move out yourself?

You aren't at risk from him physically/sexually are you?

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:23

No Hec, he scrared of me. I am physically fitter than him and while I am smaller than him I have the ability to knock him from here into next week, he knows that.

I have full control of the savings account, which I plan to use after xmas to get a new house. I agreed to give things one more go and stay until after xmas, which I have done but he is well aware I am still moving and imo it's not working.

OP posts:

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 08/12/2011 20:31

oh good.

well, not good that he's scared of you (well, maybe a little good ) but I am relieved that you are certain there is no risk to you.

FabbyChic · 08/12/2011 20:34

If the savings are joint he is entitled to half, if he contributed to those savings you are an arsehole for not ensuring he gets his fair share. There is no excuse for greed.

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:34

He has no solid reason to be scared of me. I have never been violent towards him. He tells me he is scared of me and knows I could "take" him if I wanted to

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 08/12/2011 20:35

You might be bigger than me too but your attitude stinks, specificaly when you talk about him being scared of you, does that make you feel big does it.

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:36

Fabby there are no savings at the moment. There is an account into which the child tax credits are paid. As the main carer I do believe that every single penny is mine. He had full control of them until very recently and I had to beg for every penny I needed to clothe the children properly. The card is now not in the house and I only I have access to it so I am free to save to move after xmas has been paid for.

OP posts:

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 20:40

I wouldn't worry too much about him, Fabby. I think his behaviour proves he is hardly a quivering wreck of an abused husband

OP posts:

playdead · 08/12/2011 20:43

He sounds delusional and in denial. I would not feel safe with someone like that in the house. He sounds like the type to flip and do something very stupid.
Keep safe.

SnapesMistressofMerriment · 08/12/2011 20:59

Have you started the paperwork that will formally separate everything like accounts etc? Anything that will put you in a stronger position.

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 08/12/2011 21:02

We have seperate accounts anyway. Everything is his, the house and everything in it. He inherited half of the house, it's all in his sole name and I have no intentions of taking away the house his grandparents wanted him to have. I am happy to start again from scratch.

OP posts:

LivingDead · 08/12/2011 21:10

Oh thank god you are still leaving Dooin, I remember the thread where you got the card, I was just thinking today that I hoped you hadn't slipped back(saw a post by you)

Original poster

DooinMeCleanin · 09/12/2011 01:54

well she leaves her posts open and tbf i dont care what you all think because you do not know me!! however as you all realise this is not dooin this is the serial killer the danger to the public the person who is public enemy no1 the dreaded DH that i have been made out to be. i dare say that there are always 2 sides to every story however this monster has allowed/rescued 3 dogs from death row on behalf of dooin even though they constantly urinate and poo all over the house which we have to clean up every other day even though we have 2 children under 10yo. we are several thousand pounds in debt coz i have tried my level best to provide my family with holidays and clothes whenever they need them.Every single penny i earn goes on catching up on past ct debt mortgage water gas electricity i do not have a single bean out my wages exactly what goes in goes out on bills no luxuries. these savings which dooin is talking about are tax credits which i was trying to use and get us out of financial mess/have a great christmas but now i have asked for them we dont apparently have any (2weeks b4 christmas) so no presents likely then so yes i argue but i argue coz i want us on a solid footing not living in constant debt. i want my kids to have clean clothes not dirty clothes. i want my children to experience holidays like i didnt have when i was a child. if im so wrong then yeah keep abusing me as a person but talking to you good people is what causes a lot of our arguments because she sits on here almost 24/7 to this site.

OP posts:

lisaro · 09/12/2011 02:04

flangeismyfaveword · 09/12/2011 02:08

Oh Dear

3rdOneComingUp · 09/12/2011 02:42

Dooin and Mr Dooin, I don't think you work well together...

aldiwhore · 09/12/2011 02:52

Not read any previous threads, but this all stinks of "what the fuck are you/he still doing in the same house togethe?" for a Christmas? Its only one day, one you can make up. Get rid/get gone, you agreed to something your heart's not in, for that, YABU... for everything else, YApropbablyBreasonable but you sound like you are both loving the prolonged agony. Which is a little weird.

Your OP reads to me like he tried to talk to you and you ignored him... odd. You're probably both bein arseholes right now, which says to me that you need to end this standoff.

Sell the frigging house, separate, your kids won't care. We rent. Our kids are happy, our stress and outgoings less.. cut your cloth and all that.

I fucking hate domestics on forums, especially without separate usernames as it means I have to read all the way through each OP bloody post twice.

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