AIBU to be a bit peeved and worried this might be a sign of things to come!

[makinglemonade]

Helped a friend out today and looked after her 4month old DD.

We don't have any and after many years together and lots of discussion we have decided to ttc (even bought fertility indicators last wk)

Anyway DH was at work all day and the baby was unsettled for most of the day and would only sleep in my arms so I got nothing done. By the time he came home I was starving and really needed to pee. I had to beg him to hold her to let me go to the loo and then I wanted to sort her bits and bobs before her mum picked her up. Every time I set her down she screamed so I asked DH to hold her and he was horrified and refused! He then went for a lie down as her couldn't take her crying.

I'm a bit sad cause I thought it was a nice chance for us to practice at parenting together! I'm sitting here thinking is this how it will be if we have our own. :(

Ps- I have a new appreciation for all you mums out there!

Difficult, someone else's very young baby is far scarier than your own I think!

In all honesty, I think a lot of it could come down to people just not enjoying other people's kids. Both you and your DH will have a lot more patience when it's your own. Also, when it is your own, it is more likely to settle with you. Your friend's DD could just be feeling a little miffed at not being with her mum.

Im expecting one at the moment, and even that hasn't abated my 'bloody kids' mentality I know for certain I'll be head over heels in love with my own (allready am IYKWIM) but it probably wont change the fact that, for the most part, I see other people's kids as a bit of a nusciance (sp) sometimes

Thanks for the replies. I think I just had a little moment of panic as I realised how much work it will take.

Neither of us are overly maternal and dont do a lot of babysitting so I think I may be reacting a bit too much. He says he doesn't have to like anyone else's kids only his own :) fair point I think

Looking after someone else's baby is a bit like having a romantic meal with someone else's husband. Although its a perfectly nice experience, its devoid of the intense emotions of love and the huge shared backstory. In essence, its a baby not a growing relationship - hope that makes sense.

Actually it would worry me a little - we didn't have children for a long time in our marriage (by choice) but I used to enjoy seeing my DH play with his nieces and nephews, we would often have them to stay overnight, take them out for the day etc etc. He also did a lot of voluntary work with children so I felt reassured that he was totally 100% commited to being a parent - in fact he is a much better parent than I am .

Sorry but I had to giggle at 'he then went for a lie down'!

Don't worry, OP. Your baby may have days when they want to be held a lot but those early days are over so quickly in the grand scheme of things.

Good luck TTC.

If it is any help, my dh was dreadful with other people's children before we had our own. He avoided them if possible, ignored them and seemed to despise them.

He was very keen to have his own though and he is a fantastic dad.

I think for many people the fact it is your child is very important. You also learn together (you and the baby) whereas someone else's baby has learnt with them, not you!

others people children esp when they're babies and esp when ur not used to babies are terrifying! He was prob afraid he'd drop her, do something wrong... re the comment about seeing their dh playing with nieces / nephews - thats different I think on basis that he has some experience with them

Thanks all.

Day - that made me laugh. Like a dinner with someone else's husband!

Rogworth I appreciate your honesty. He's never been keen on kids but has always been good with nieces and nephews but only when they are older (From toddler age)

I spoke to him a while ago about it and he said he just felt nervous cause she was already unsettled and she doesn't know him like she knows me. He assures me it will be v different with our own.

Ttc continues in earnest :)

You don't have to like other peoples kids, but you do have to protect tiny babies that need their Mummy or substitute. Do I detect a lack of empathy in DP?