To think that you can't moan about school cliques if you aren't prepared to make any effort?

[mumofthreekids]

Last night we had an Xmas night out for the reception class parents. Nothing fancy, just a few drinks in the local pub. The class rep emailed the parents of all 28 children in the class a couple of weeks ago and sent a reminder earlier this week, and last night 8 of us turned up (plus a couple of apologies from people who couldn't make it).

And that was absolutely fine. I understand that not everyone wanted to or was able to come, and the 8 of us had a really nice evening.

But I see so many threads on here referring despisingly to the 'alpha mums' or the 'PTA clique' (yes, most of us who were there last night are on the PTA). AIBU to think that if you don't bother to come to these things, you shouldn't label those who do make the effort as being cliquey?

Depends I think.

If you are a welcoming PTA then all/more might try to get involved.

If you are a snooty bunch, then you can't blame folk for keeping away! :)

Are you in the scary camp op?

I don't know if YABU or not really

But I do think those who crow loudest about 'cliques', 'alpha mums', 'yummy mummies' etc....have a problem with their own self esteem.

cant be doing with that kind of crap, yummy mummies blabbing the whole night about their little darlings, or what delia's new recipe turned out like, or the fab shoes they saw last week

shudders, no thanks

Never heard of reception children's parents nights out?
Though no one had to go just because an email and reminder was sent, i personally wouldn't have went because i have other stuff to do

There's always two or three sides to these things. I've known cliques AND also been on the PTA, I've been outside of cliques looking in.

In general terms you made the effort to invite everyone and as you're on the PTA are probably more inclined to attend.

There's 12 of us going out tonigh, less than half the mums. But there's no ill feeling, maybe there should be seeing as I resigned from the PTA last week!!

Your side of this debate is valid and true, so is the other.

I've been on the receiving end of the vile behaviour of a real clique, it exists, but I also think simple 'groups of friends' get tarred unfairly with the clique brush.

Worra, I would never refer to myself as part of the in crowd or an alpha mum or similar - and Feminine I don't think I'm scary! But I hear lots of people using those phrases. They may sometimes be justified, but my point is - maybe the PTA isn't as snooty as you think and you should give them a chance?

I am ready to be flamed for this but ........
I am perfectly capable of choosing my own mates and meeting new people. Having been invited to one of these get togethers,I totally freaked out as to how their was a seniority structure already in place. I felt like there was a "head girl" a "deputy" head and all the hangers on. I realised fairly early on ,that with some of them ,all I had in common with them ,was a child in the same class. That said, I did meet other like minded parents who I can pass the time of day with at the school gate,or ring for details of forgotten homework. I think what people choose to think is their own business and wonder what has prompted the question .

Thank you HecklerNotKoch for proving my point about the kind of assumptions people make.

I don't get why some people think it's so important or even necessary to be 'friends' with the school mums?

These people aren't 'friends' (though over the years they may genuinely become friends) they are simply other people who happen to send their kids to the same school as yours.

I do my shopping in Tescos 3 or 4 times per week, but I've never thought it necessary to befriend anyone in there...or even take any bloody notice of who shops there!

I suppose then mum it is just up to parents if they want to come...like anything else?

Your idea of a great night would not work for everyone ...

But, I see your point. I am going to join force my efforts on the PTA when I get back to the UK.

I am curious like that