To move DD to a new school?

[RavenRose]

Sorry this is a bit long but I really need some advice. Until the summer both DDs went to the same primary school. DD1 was bullied for quite some time, after numerous meetings with the head, LA being involved etc etc we moved her to a new school in September. I would have liked to move both but DD2 was really happy at the school, had lots of friends and didn't want to move.

However for the past 6 weeks she has been picked on one girl. Shes in tears most mornings, I've spoken to her teachers and the head several times but they believe theres no problem. She came home yesterday really upset and has bruises after being hit. She refused to go today and is still very upset, I've spoken to the school this moring and just think "here we ago again". When DD1 was bullied the school were hopeless - they completely failed to deal with it.

I want to move her to the same school as her elder sister. DH thinks we should sort it out with the school as untgil 6 weeks she was really happy there, but based on past experience that won't happen.

We both work ft and sorting out childcare would be a nightmare. There are no childminders with vacancies who pick up from DD1s school. At the moment I'm using a combination of after school clubs and working at home. However DD2 couldn't do the same clubs as shes a different year group. I couldn't work from home 5 days a week. TBH I think this is the reason why DH wants something sorted with DD2s school. At the moment shes picked up by a cm. I pick up DD1 then go on to the cm later to pick up dd2 so it all works out.

Hes gone off to work this morning leaving me to sort it out. I'm so stressed over other things at the moment and can't face going through all we did with dd1 again. I also don't think its fair on the dds. I think we need to try and move her at the end of this term and sort out something for childcare but am I right?

Personaly I would want to at least attempt to sort it out at the current school before moving her.

I appreciate that you don't hold out much hope of a satisfactory resolution, but I would want to know that I had at least explored the possibility of resolution at the current school before creating the family upheaval.

Of course it depends on the individual circumstances and your daughter's preferences too.

Move her, I say. Why should you trust this school with DD2 after what you've been through with DD1? Why should you give them another chance?
From what you're saying, they're already going down the ignoring-and-hoping- it-all-goes-away route.
for you and your DD2.

Well, surely what you lose in the short-term with childcare-you-have-set-up, you will gain in the long-term with having them both at the same school? that has to be easier in the long-term?

You could start putting out feelers at dd1's school, perhaps? Get a class list and 'phone people if you don't have enough time at drop-off/don't do drop-off. Christmas is coming, and everything changes, so vacancies may come up, perhaps?

I know it feels really urgent at the moment BUT there is a holiday on, and realistically, whatever you do, it's not going to be resolved in the next few weeks. So don't be pushed into a sense of panic. It is going to take time, whether you sort it with current school, or move her. That's a good thing and a bad thing. Good: You have time to pursue both things at once. Good: It may all blow over with the holiday. Bad: If it doesn't blow over, you're in for a bumpy few months.

Poor you. It sounds as though you all had a very bad time with what happened with dd1: sad to hear it may be happening again. On the plus side: you sorted it out once, I'm sure you can do it again if need be.

How old is DD2? It's such a hard descision...I had to move my 7 year old this year but it has gone beautifully...imy DD is a shy litle thing but has made friends and come on in leaps and bounds....t's good for siblings to share a school and if your DD is still small she will soon fit in.

Is the other school better generally?

Hi, just wanted to say thanks for your replies. I didn't mean to be away so long but have been sorting out dd2 and making some phone calls. It looks like moving her is not an option anyway so I'll need to try and sort things with the school - I just wish I could trust them after all that dd1 went through :(

How old are your DDs?

If you haven't already, I'd ask the LEA whether there are any spaces in her year. If not, it might well not be an option, even if you could sort out the childcare.

But i moved my DD (8) last Easter and it's been great. Settled after a week or two and loads of friends now.