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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking WTF about the PTA reserving the front row seats at the nativity

244 replies

TrollopDollop · 07/12/2011 23:08

I saw it with my own eyes on monday at DS reception nativity. Why? I am not seeing the link between being in the PTA and getting a monopoly on the front row seats. One of them actually asked people to move before placing 'reserved for PTA' signs on the chairs.

OP posts:
seeker · 12/12/2011 15:20

Writ your cheque if you want to- nobody's stopping you!

But bear in mind that there are lots of parents who can spare 50p for q cake, but couldn't spare 50 quid at any time of the year. But I wouldn't expect you to realise that.

Sudaname · 12/12/2011 15:25

Danaery "Its just at our school, it's pta = do stuff, other parents = moan, but always have a reason why they can't become involved"

That is exactly the kind of attitude that gives other people this 'self righteous' impression of PTA members.

Do it yourself - fine - but that doesnt give you the right to judge or make you an authority on validity of reason other parents dont do it. They may have one of endless good reasons - illness (and there are many 'invisible' ones that cause fatigue for example) - they might work very long or erratic hours or have a DP/DH/DW that does - and so on.

seeker · 12/12/2011 15:42

"Do it yourself - fine - but that doesnt give you the right to judge or make you an authority on validity of reason other parents dont do it. They may have one of endless good reasons - illness (and there are many 'invisible' ones that cause fatigue for example) - they might work very long or erratic hours or have a DP/DH/DW that does - and so on."

Absolutely. But why is it OK to judge the people who do do stuff? look back over this thread and see who gets the bashing!

MabelOranje · 12/12/2011 15:52

It's sanctimonious people like seeker who give PTA members a bad name. If you want to raise money for your DC's school then do so but don't assume those who don't help on the PTA are bone idle. I prefer to use my spare time volunteering and fundraising for causes which I deem more important than an adventure playground or a visit from a touring panto.

They are nice extras but not necessities; the kids at DD's school have a huge field to run around so the adventure playground is underused and something of a waste of a lot of money.

Join the PTA if that floats your boat but don't whinge about "slogging your guts out " because you've set up a school fair or served refreshments. And remember if it wasn't for parents like me handing over the dosh then all your efforts would be for nought.

seeker · 12/12/2011 15:55

Where did I whinge? Where was I sanctimonious?

Sudaname · 12/12/2011 15:56

Seeker

... " And why people think being on the PTA committee gives you any "clout" completely escapes me !"

Well it gets you a front row seat for a start at the OPs school nativity !

As for your next paragraph :

.." I Think people who are too bone idle to do anything but take advantage of the stuff PTA raised funds buy for the school make themselves feel better by slagging off those people who actually do stuff ".

So anyone who isnt a member of a PTA or who has the audacity to query or challenge how things are done or have any input (except of a positive nature) into things that after all affect their own dcs and their school - fits into this breathtaking sweeping generalisation of yours then do they ?

I refer you to my last post - and you wonder why sometimes PTA members have a negative image among other parents Hmm.

'

Sudaname · 12/12/2011 15:58

Mabel - agree - x posts sorry.

seeker · 12/12/2011 16:07

Sudaname- I put forward a possible explanation for the front row seats thing.

And my sweeping generqlzation was nothing compared to the "mafia" "tedious""martyr" "teeth itch" comments that people throw about so generously whenever the PTA is mentioned.

BulletProofMum · 12/12/2011 16:11

At our school it's the governors. I know they may do something for the school but surely it's more important for the parents to be able to see.

exoticfruits · 12/12/2011 16:18

I always used to say to the head of my sons' school that I would willingly give him a cheque each year to ensure we did not have to endure the endless round of raffle tickets and cake sales from the PTA which totally pissed me off. I also found the type of person who really enjoyed being involved in all this time wasting drivel rather tedious. Surely if you want some money for something you should just ask rather than spend hundreds of hours trying to engage people in things they don't really enjoy?

I think that this attitude is absolutely appalling. We had this with our Scout group. Scouts are very low cost and traditionally they hold fetes etc which are hard work, but give a high profile in the community and bring in the money. We gave parents the choice and the result was to pay more a cut out the fund raising.It is so sad-some people can't afford this 'throw money' at it attitude but don't like to say so. I wouldn't have given them the choice, I would say that if they send their DC they are expected to help at fetes etc and twist their arms when the time came!

I have been on PTAs and it is hard work-you would think that parents would be grateful that someone was willing to do it and not continually moan.
I can only think that at the play they are busy manning the raffle etc and don't want to do all the work and then have to stand at the back.

The solution is simple-anyone can join the PTA. Join and do the work.If this is too much for you don't moan about those who do.

lockets · 12/12/2011 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 12/12/2011 16:20

"At our school it's the governors. I know they may do something for the school but surely it's more important for the parents to be able to see."

What on earth does that mean?

daenerysstormborn · 12/12/2011 16:25

sudaname, so you're arguing against my point about the moaning and providing reasons not to join, by moaning and providing reasons not to join?

exoticfruits · 12/12/2011 16:30

Everyone thinks it unfair if they don't get to sit on the front row and very few can! I used to think it very unfair if they turned up really early to bag a seat.

daenerysstormborn · 12/12/2011 16:30

sorry, am not normally this prickily, am in a foul mood today due to some family stuff going on. think i will bow out and go take the kids to late night shopping christmas market and get out of this bah humbug mood.

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 12/12/2011 16:46

Maybe front row seats could be allocated on a reward chart basis for parents?

Learning outcomes;

Is able to label all uniform correctly: 1 star
Has produced homemade sparkly fairy cakes for at least 3 bake sales: 1 star
Is able to park considerately: 2 stars
Is able to correctly identify a nit and treat accordingly: 3 stars
Has filled in reading record correctly: 2 stars
Has contributed a prize to the yearly tombola and not recycled what they won on the blasted thing last year: 2 stars

seeker · 12/12/2011 17:15

Actually, I think sensible parking, nit identification and being proven not to re-label "good" sweatshirts brought home by accident should guarantee a front seat!

bbcessex · 12/12/2011 17:18

I love the 'i'm a working parent so can't help' excuse. Sits alongside the 'i've got kids so i can't help' excuse!!! Most people could find the time to 'something'. Lots just can't be arsed cos they are safe in the knowledge that others will.

I work full time and commute 3 hrs a day. I still find time to help out.

And i'm really cool and also have an actual life WinkWinkWink

seeker · 12/12/2011 17:23

BbcEssex, stop being so sanctimonious! Grin

bbcessex · 12/12/2011 17:27

Also, in case anyone hadn't notice, lots if childred love having a Christmas fair or Summer Fete.. Little kids actually get excited. And lots of kids like their mums and dads running a stall or gettinf involved.

How sad it would be for parents just to give a blanket cheque and have no events for the children.

exoticfruits · 12/12/2011 17:53

Far too many parents would rather throw money at things rather than the important time. DCs would much rather have a parent running a stall than being too buy and sending in a cheque.

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 12/12/2011 18:03

Ha ha Seeker - why is it that the manky stretched sweatshirts never have a label in them so you can't return them to the rightful owner and reclaim your own? Wink

bbcessex · 12/12/2011 18:22

I can't seeker... I'm a PTA helper nerd Wink

With a life and a job (ney, a career, oooh, get me!) and I make a yummy cupcake and a I have a special apron for the stall.

Oh, I am so cool.

Exoticfruits... totally agree.. I give money and time. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But definitely some.

I really am going to be sainted, aren't I GrinXmas GrinGrinXmas Grin

sickoftheemails · 12/12/2011 18:33

bbcessex I think you may have missed the part where I, for example, said I cant join the pta due to work and cant help before a play on a weekday BUT mentioned I always help at weekend events such as fairs. I hope your career doesnt require reading and fine detail.

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 12/12/2011 18:36

Sod making tea and helping on stalls. I WANT POINTS FOR WRITING IN INDELIBLE PEN ON THE CLOTHING TAGS FORGODSSAKES