To, no,not being impressed that dss has learnt a new song on his guitar

[annoyedinipswich]

When I have been out all day working ad he has been sat on his arse playing
the guitar and wanking (well probably, he is 17).
AIBU to expect him to tidy up around the house or go and look for a bloody job.?
He is doing a level 1 or 2 (not sure) FE course 2 days a week.

I don't think you are being very nice.

Maybe not but Im expressing my frustration. :( .AIBU to expect him to at least try to do something around the house or try to get a job? He has made no attempt and makes NO effort to do anything in the house.

I know...I think the "wanking " bit annoyed me TBH :)

have you spoken about him looking?

Well I did find he had been looking at porn on the computer so that was a knee jerk, sorry

YANBU (though wanking? was that really necessary?)

I suggested at dinner that he take his cv down to the local shops and restaurants tomorrow as he is doing nothing and he just shrugged and said "oh yeah".

I know... you are just frustrated.

We have all been there :)

It sounds like you need to have a proper chat.

His response indicates that he is not taking your request very seriously, perhaps? :)

Its really up to his Dad to push him but he IMO is being too soft with him. His reason? He says he is "remedial" and doesnt know how to get a job.

And I think he is just so happy he isnt drinking and playing up that he doesnt push it.

Sounds a bit of a mess...

I have a brother who struggled (SN) different school ...but he works (has his own company)

Don't let his Dad label him so unfairly.

Is there anyone else in your family who would be a good role model and help out a bit?

17 is a tricky age ...the teen even feels they live in no mans land :)

Just saw your last bit...has he given you more problems before then?

Its understandable to keep the status quo if things have been rocky.

How about starting a 'fresh start' for all of you? get back on track somehow?

I guess things can become a vicious cycle sometimes can't they?

He left school after his gcse's , nearly 2 years ago. I think id just like to see him make an effort. He hasnt applied for ONE job. Its so hard when Ive been at work all day and walk in at 6 pm and he asks "whats for tea"? ()

No, he has always been a "good" boy, we are very lucky there.

Thanks for "listening" btw :)

I hear you:)

What about going to a job centre (or the new name) someone should help you. Teens are difficult to motivate at the best of times...

How were his GCSE results?

Oh I see...

To me, and to everyone else (I am sure) he sounds like he has potential, for sure! Its probably been very easy for him to slip in to lazy ways.

You obviously work very hard ,and don't have all that much energy to motivate him, right?

Is it possible he has a lack of confidence at the mo?

Learning anything on the guitar is not that easy btw...