to be really quite pissed off

[sleeplessinderbyshire]

I am 9 weeks pregant. Second baby. Planned. Work as partner in a small firm (5 partners, 3 employed professionals, a manager and lots of admin staff). One of my colleagues has been off sick with cancer but returned to work fit and well (we and they thought) 6-7 weeks ago. Feel like shit, knackered puking loads and struggling to cope with toddler, full time work (4 long days) and DH being away lots with work (he'd been unemployed for ages so this is generally a very good thing).

Have told one partner (who is also good mate at work and manager who has been friend for a long time) so far. Had scan today and was planning to tell partnership soon particularly as feel so rough I wanted to ask for some slack and some shorter days for a few weeks. Planning for maternity cover is always stressful in this line of work and it's not great that one of our employed professions is off on maternity leave in the new year. Was dreading telling them but felt getting it out in the open was best (as a pertner I am not an employee and will have to pay for the maternity cover out of my own pocket)

Found out today that partner who had the cancer is not coping, needs weeks off and then wants to go p/t and other partners and manager feel best plan is for us all to go from 4 to 5 days (we already work 4x 10-11hr days) to cover the absence until and unless some other cover can be found. Whilst I feel desperately for them and their family etc etc I am shattered, I feel constantly sick and in no way fit to do any more than normal, actually I want to do less (or actually curl up in a ball and sleep fro the next 5 weeks actually)

AIBU to tell them I am pregnant and say sorry but no to doing extra or do I just look flakey?

FFS tell them you are pregnant. Ask to do some work from home.

say sorry but no.

What would be a long term impact on your career there?

Umm its a tough one. If it was me I would say no sorry I'm pregnant and struggling and actually need to reduce my hours. I have never been career orintated (sp?) However how will it effect your career, are you bothered?

I don't get why you are pissed off tbh?

They aren't psychic

They all seem willing to work extra to help a colleague who has just admitted to not
Coping since cancer treatment. Don't sound like an unreasonable lot

Just tell them!

Work should never come before your needs. Now more than ever. It's a very difficult situation, I can see that. However, the timing of your pregnancy and your colleague's illness is nothing more than an unfortunate co-incidence. The firm, I'm sure will find a way to support you both. It's not at all flaky, be firm and clear about what you need - just do it!

The partners and managers may feel the best plan is to get cover if they realise you need to reduce your hours. Wouldn't that equate to almost a full-time position? Tell them. Good luck.

sorry you need to tell them, but you also need to find a way of managing, you have another 7 months of this, but hopefully in the next few weeks you will pick up.

Thanks all, have just sent them an email sharing my news. No mention of the exhaustion, puking or inability to do any extra - little steps (we've been searching for cover but not at all easy to find anyone). Slightly dreading seeing them tomorrow but also relieved it can be less of a weight on my mind and I might get a bit of slack

Oh, congratulations by the way