to say something to school about this, or would I be seen as an intreferring parent?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I had the joy of spending the whole day in my youngest DC's school yesterday.

I was in the hall and could see the PE lessons.

There's a girl in Y6, who, due to medical reasons, can't take part in PE, and has been unable to, on and off, sine Nursery.

Yesterday she sat in the hall and watched the other 29 pupils gave their lesson. No book, nothing at all to occupy her, just watching her friends have a great time.

Now, surely, anyone with an ounce of compassion would see how sad this would make her feel?

Would IBU to suggest to staff that they find her something to do for the hour and a bit, just to distract her from the fact that she is, yet again, unable to take part in what her friends can? I can remember how great it was at school to be asked to do something non-lesson related - photocopying, putting stuff in envelopes, stamping the new books with school address. Surely anything like that would be beneficial to the girl and the school?

Should I keep my nose out?

«disclaimer: she could have been given choices and watching the class could have been her decision - I don't know that»

Thanks for all the replies.

I'd feel a bit uncomfortable talking to her mom to be honest, as, although I wasn;t there to help out in classes, but in another capacity, I would feel I had betrayed confidentiality says she on a large forum, but, although I feel very cmfortable with the staff that I would need to communicate with, I don't think it's my position to say something.

(alopogies for the very long sentence - I hope you could follow it)

Willowisp: CTR said in OP that she didn't know whether the DC chose to just watch, and it seems she doesn't know whether reading is actually banned, or indeed anything about how her sitting out is actually managed. And this is a year 6 child who has been in the situation for some years.

CTR: you could have said something whilst you were actually observing the lesson (if that's what you were doing, rather than just passing the hall), perhaps to ask in the spirit of genuine enquiry why she appeared to be just sitting. I don't think there is a way to reopen this after the event.

Dd is often in this position as her chronic condition means she is seldom able to join in. Partly it is because she is in secondary and needs to watch as PE is a compulsory subject and she will still need to do the theory. But partly because her condition means she gets tired and this is a chance to relax. I have tried to suggest that I should get permission for her to read/do some work, but tbh she doesn't seem very keen.

YABU

No way would a child at my school be allowed to read a book while games is going on. They're supposed to watch, help and learn - coaching tactics etc. Maybe she was supposed to be observing a particular skill or something.

If they're permanently affected by a condition or a disability then we are expected to make adjustments to allow them to take part in some way. Had a boy last year (who has sadly died now) who couldn't walk without lurching and wobbling and had very little arm control. But the other boys understood that and he had a lot of fun chucking balls around etc. He feel over a lot but he just got up laughing. When his disability worsened and he had to use a wheelchair and couldn't support his head then he had one to one swimming sessions while the others had games.

But I work in a school where we have at least an hour of sport every day so opting out isn't really possible.

If the girl has a disability the school have a duty under the dda to make reasonable adjustments so that she can participate in pe lessons. My Ds attends a school for children with disabilities (which includes children with medical problems) and they all participate in pe.

I had meant maybe you could ask a gentle question to teacher.

I think your heart is in the right place, but YABU.

My son has a condition (arthritis) that means he often has to sit out of PE. He would hate to do jobs for the teacher or stay in the classroom and do extra work.(This has been offered - my response was a very polite WTF - he's unlucky enough to be in pain, have limited mobility - don't make the situation worse by substituting PE with work!)

Likewise he has dyslexia - sitting a reading is not a treat, more of a torture and would be impossible in a loud PE lesson.

He is perfectly happy to sit in the hall and watch his friends. At least he's with them, feels part of the group and is not excluded.

He's now in Year 5 and if he has an issue he has to raise it with his teacher. Failing that, he would would speak to me and I would sort it out. I would be very pissed off if another parent, who having observed my child once, took it upon themselves to speak to the school staff about the situation and make suggestions on my behalf of my child. It would be incredibly patronising to me and my DS.

Actually as I am writing this I am getting more and more wound up. Let's say for example that this was our school and you took it upon yourself to stick your nose in and suggest he stuff envelopes. Imagine the conversation I would have that evening. DS hobbles home in pain feeling pretty miserable. I ask if he's had a nice day. Well yes he has except the hour spent in the classroom stuffing envelopes while everyone else had PE. I would be straight into school to sort that one out.

Disclaimer - some of you might have children who like to do this when they already feel like shit and can't join in with friends. My DS is not one of them.

Am not sure anyone is suggesting OP should aggressively challenge the school....just suggested ask a friendly question.

Is that so wrong?

She wasn't going to ask a friendly question - she was missing that stage out and referred to making a suggestion to staff that they could find her something to do.

Sorry if I appeared aggressive. The OP does not know the full circumstances. I would find it patronising both as a parent of a child in a similar situation and as a teacher if a parent made a suggestion like the one the OP was talking about.

YABU. While I understand how it looks to you and how sad it made you feel, please in this case have some faith in the school and the staff. I don't know of any teacher that would allow a disabled child to be sat unwillingly watching a PE lesson doing nothing. An IEP/ care plan for a disabled child will be in place and there will be reasons for what you saw (choice, coaching/mentoring etc...) and having people consistently questioning methods (however well intentioned) does get exhausting!

Also, if a child was sat watching PE every week and being unhappy about it, please allow that child's parents to raise their concerns instead of someone who knows nothing about the reality of the situation.

You're right it's not your place to raise it. I can see why it made you feel sad though, and why you wondered afterwards.

DS2 often has to sit out of PE, if his asthma is bad, or if his hypermobility syndrome is going through a bad patch where he is subluxing more frequently. He HAS to watch, as there is no free teachers/TA's to do an alternative activity with him. The teacher usually finds him a job to do, like taking notes, or doing the stopwatch etc - but in SOME types of PE, there really is nothing he can do except watch. He is allowed to take a reading book in with him if the lesson is one of those though.