"I'll "slam" it in the over when I get home" - For fucks sake!!! since when does ANYONE slam something in an oven??? Why can't he just say "put" like everyone else???
"I'll look for it, it's quite pacific" - PACIFIC?????????? Christ on a fucking bike speak PROPERLY!!!!! It's NOT pacific, the pacific is an ocean you knob jockey!
"Ooo it's a bit cold?" no it's fucking freezing.
"You're looking tired" - Thanks for pointing out that I look like shit, no really.
"Save me a lump of cake!" - You're NOT funny because you sound like a twat so why even try??? A "LUMP" OF CAKE? FUCK OFF why not just say a piece/slice of cake like everyone else?? docker bastard.
"I'm fasting today for religious reasons - but I forgot to eat before the sun came up so I'm going to have that meal at 12.30pm instead and then I'll have dinner when the sun goes down at 4ish" - so you're eating like a normal person today then???
Oh jesus christ I've had enough today.