To think that on this occasion my husband is behaving like a twat?

[ProfessorIncognito]

Today is an absolutely awful day. We are going through a restructure / headcount reduction and today its the turn of a group of people who are both very good at their jobs and very much need their jobs to support their families. I have been managing them for the last 5 years and can't choose between them. Consequently, I'm bloody stressed as there is no good outcome of today.

Of course today its also DS's nativity play, but we'd set up the interviews so I could run out in the lunch break, see the play and then leg it back. All fantastic until the school moved it forward by 20 mins and now there is no way I can make it.

So I asked DH if he could go instead and he said that he's too busy.

He's not too bloody busy, he just hates nativity plays as he's an ardent atheist and gets embarassed by DS's behaviour in public as he has SN.

We had a massive row about it and thats what it comes down to.

He is a twat.

Anyway I have to go and do interviews now so won't get to respond to anyone until much later, but actually I don't care if I'm fucking unreasonable, he is a fucking twat for doing this. Him being embarassed is NOTHING compared to the upset DS is going to feel about there being no one there and there's nothing I can do about it as I just can't mess around with these interviews as its people's livelihoods.

ARGH

YAmost definitelyNBU.

What a crappy situation for you. Just focus in the fact that this time tomorrow, you, your DS and the poor sods in your team will have got through it.

P.S. love your div tags. Stealing that fo' sure.

YANBU. Your husband is being very selfish and should be able to put his (rather petty) feelings aside for the sake of his child. How sad he is embarrassed by his own child, especially as its for something no one can control, least of all your son. And it's a nativity play. Not 3 hours of mass ffs.

YANBU, I really hope that today moves swiftly, tomorrow is better, and the weekend brings wine.

YADNBU. Was pretty much going to say everything Santa said. Wow. He sounds really selfish. He might be athiest, but using it to not see his own son in his play is a poor excuse. 'Embarrassed' by his son's special needs - he sounds delightful!

What a shitty situation to be caught up in. And yes, you DH is being a twat. My DH doesn't do social events (he's horrifically shy) and has annoyed me in the past because of similar things, but he wouldn't miss DC's nativity!

I know it isn't much help, nut as others have said by this time tomorrow it will all be over, no matter how painful it is for any of you

Ewwwwww, he sees his own child as an embarrasment ? What a charmer.

YADNBU op

Oh FFS! I'm Jewish and I go to see my dc in their school nativities! It's certainly not because I believe in it - it's because I believe in my dc. Going to their school shows is about supporting your dc and their schools.

As for 'embarrassing behaviour' ! He needs to man up. Children behave in all sorts of ways and embarrass their parents whether or not they have SN. That should not diminish the support or pride they get from their parents. I absolutely glowed with pride at ds1's first nativity show in nursery: I had worried that he would get anxious and overwhelmed, and that he would therefore kick off, but, no, he sat quietly on stage, in costume, holding a teacher's hand. He was clearly anxious, and could be heard occasionally saying quietly "I don't want to sing". Ds participated to the best of his ability - and for that I was hugely proud.

YADefinitelyNBU

Hope you have a gentle day.

YANBU, atheist or not your DH should support your son. He also needs to get over his issues of your son's behaviour in public and love him and be proud of him for who he is.

I don't know where you are but I'd go for you and support your son. (It wouldn't mean anything to him but I could tell him I was your special reporter).

"gets embarassed by DS's behaviour in public as he has SN."

That is so, so sad and quite frankly it's despicable that he'd avoid the play because he's embarassed. You must be so angry on your son's behalf. Who cares what other people think, he should be focusing on his son and not thinking about himself. He's fucking selfish and should get over himself before his child realises that his own father is self-conscious about him.

Is he actually too busy? You are assuming that this is not the real reason, but perhaps it is?

Could you get someone to go on your behalf op ?

I have 2 with SN and all the public humiliation that comes with it but really couldn't give a monkeys chuff about how the public view them, he needs to man up.

Oh dear. I'm a massive atheist, but had tears in my eyes when DD was successively ox, wise king, and then Mary.

As for DH being embarrassed by his own child's SN. Arse. Sorry, but he is.

he is embarrassed of his own son? sorry, op, but he sounds like a right arse.

Could you leg it there after the interviews so that you can say that you were there but you sat at the back so he might not have seen you?

I had to do that once when I double booked on a school play day for my tesco delivery! I stood by the door out of sight and then went in at the end when you can take photos, the kids had no idea I hadnt actually been there during the play!

your husband is a wanker, btw.

YANBU he is an arse for you.

Bogeyface, I was just coming on to say the same thing. Great minds, eh?
That's your best bet, op, just let him see your face at the end and give him a big hug

what a pig.

So how did the day turn out? Hope you are and ds are okay.

are