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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want my mum to come for Christmas?

21 replies

RaraGigglePixie · 06/12/2011 19:17

This will be my mums first Christmas without my step-dad so naturally I invited her to us.

We have PIL as well and for the first time in 4yrs we'll have 10yr old DSS here too (plus me, Dp & pur 2 son's)

Only prob is my mum has a cat, the Cattery the cat usually goes to is closed for Christmas do I told her to bring the cat with. Mum would be arriving late Xmas eve and leaving early boxing day (she lives a couple hours away)

Dp went mad saying we can't have the cat here as DSS is allergic to them. He gets a bit of a sniffly nose. Nothing more than mild cold symptoms really. I asked if we could give DSS piriton just for the duration of mums stay but DP said that wasn't fair on Dss.

Now I know I'll probably get flamed for wanting mum and the cat here when Dss is allergic but what pisses me off is that when Dp and Dss want to do something in London, Dp will give Dss piriton so they can stay at my mums for the weekend and not have to pay for a hotel.

Now mum is going to be spending Christmas on her own because Dp won't have the cat here for me but is quite happy to have Dss stay in a house with the cat when it suits them.

I know I probably am being very unreasonable but it just upsets me thinking of my mum spending her first Christmas without step-dad on her own while me, her grandsons, my Dp and PIL are all here having a jolly old time!

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 06/12/2011 19:19

Your mum could leave food for that short period! Aren't there special food bowls for this kind of thing?

Sirzy · 06/12/2011 19:21

Sounds like your both being unreasonable to me to drug a child to deliberately expose them to an allergen sounds mean to me!

Why can't the cat stay at home anyway for one day? Get a neighbour to feed him!

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 06/12/2011 19:22

The solution is for the cat to stay at your mum's house, isn't it?

One person just needs to pop in quickly on Christmas Day; or she get a feeder-timer thing for such a short absence.

The cat will be happier, too. Journeys are stressful for cats.

Pancakeflipper · 06/12/2011 19:23

Has the cat got a cat flap ? If so that and one of those timer food bowls will be fine. Or a neighbour?

Original poster

RaraGigglePixie · 06/12/2011 19:24

I probably should have mentioned that Dss actually doesn't mind the cat. He just doesn't get too close but is happy to be in the same house as one.

It's Dp that's saying No.

OP posts:

SantasENormaSnob · 06/12/2011 19:24

Yanbu at all.

He's obviously able to tolerate the cat when it suits your dp.

NatashaBee · 06/12/2011 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RaraGigglePixie · 06/12/2011 19:27

No cat hasn't got a cat flap.

Mum only just moved to her area so doesn't know anyone who could go in hence the reason she has a "usual" Cattery.

Since step-dad died, the cat has been the only company mum has had. She's just got back from a 2 week break in South Africa (she was born there, family & friends are there.) so she's reluctant to leave the cat on her own. The Cattery would have been fine as they know her know but it's closed so that options out.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 06/12/2011 19:27

A cat will be absolutely fine with a litter tray for that short amount of time, and I am sure a neighbour could go in to check on him. It wouldnt be good for the cat to be in a strange house for the sake of a couple of days, cats do not settle in like dogs do and if it got it, it is likely to do a runner.

Rhubarbgarden · 06/12/2011 19:27

Yanbu. I can see why you feel this is unfair. But to be honest the cat would probably be miserable taken somewhere strange and if it accidentally got out the house and got lost there would be so much heartache. If there aren't any friends or neighbours willing to feed the cat you could get a professional pet feeder. Just google holiday pet feeder in your area.

faeriefruitcake · 06/12/2011 19:28

could the cat stay at a cattery near you?

GypsyMoth · 06/12/2011 19:29

The cat can't go to yours, so that's that.

It will be fine on it's own

LittleJennyRobyn · 06/12/2011 19:30

If Your mum's cat eats dry food then she could leave several bowls round the house, enough for the time she is away. I have done this for short periods and as long as the cat has access to water and litter tray will be fine.

It would be way too stressful for the cat to go on the journey, into a strange house full of strange people and what with the commotion of christmas day, the poor thing will be terrified....unless the cat used to visiting with your mum???

Not something i would even think about.

Sirzy · 06/12/2011 19:30

Its a good chance for her to get to know her neighbours then!!

thefurryone · 06/12/2011 19:30

Our old cat hated the car and the only time we took it away for the weekend it spent the entire time under a bed not eating and generally being grumpy. I don't think that behaviour was that unusual So probably would be better in that time scale for cat to stay at your Mum's house.

Although that said your DP is being a bit U if he is normally fine for DSS to be around cat.

HappyCamel · 06/12/2011 19:31

YANBU except that I think that so many people and all the noise of Christmas in an unfamiliar house would probably be very scary for the cat. Could she keep it shut in her bedroom at your house? Could she use a new cattery?

BrianAndHisBalls · 06/12/2011 19:35

your dp is being a nob though if he doesnt mind the cat when it saves hotel bills! Seems very unreasonable to just say no. Tell him to f off.

Original poster

RaraGigglePixie · 06/12/2011 19:36

I'm quite happy to have the cat upstairs while mum is here with dss's bedroom door closed at all times obviously.

Strangely, for a cat, she's quite used to travelling around with mum. She (the cat) is used to me, Dp and the kids as we stay at mums frequently when we wanna do something in London.

You're all right though. I'm sure the cat will survive this amount of time on her own. Now just to let mum in on the idea.

Step-dad only died in November so mums still all over the place.

Holiday pet feeder: must google.

OP posts:

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 06/12/2011 19:40

I also think your dp is BU.
But the cat will be allright on it's own.

slavetofilofax · 06/12/2011 19:41

If your Mum won't leave the cat at home for such a short amount of time, that's her problem and her choice. Her pet is her responsibility so it's entirely up to her, but leaving it should be a valid option.

I was completely with your DH and ready to say YABU from your post, right up to the part where you said your DSS stays at your Mums when it suits your DH. He is out of order for that. If he doesn't want the cat in his home (as I wouldn't) he should just be honest about it and not his behind crap excuses.

Grumpla · 06/12/2011 19:42

YANBU, he's either allergic or he's not! But I agree the cat will probably HATE the strange people, place, noise & journey.

I have this cat feeder and it works very well, you can use it for wet or dry food as it has icepacks in there as well.

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