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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isnt a terrible request re school.

62 replies

MincePieFlavouredVoidka · 06/12/2011 16:37

To ask for a list of the childrens names in DS's class so I can write his Christmas cards?

I asked his teacher yesterday, and she told me I would have to speak to the office. Spoke to the office who said they would have to speak to the Head and the Head said no, because its too sensitive.

I only want a list of first names. I am only asking because DS cant tell me then names of the children in his class as he has a speech delay and ASD.

OP posts:
Original poster
MincePieFlavouredVoidka · 06/12/2011 16:57

I am writing them too so its not a bother for me to write 30 :)

OP posts:
Original poster
MincePieFlavouredVoidka · 06/12/2011 16:58

I dont drop DS off in the playground in the morning and he gets picked up before the other children so I dont see any Mums in the playground.

Valium I like that idea, might have to go with that.

OP posts:
Marymaryalittlecontrary · 06/12/2011 16:59

That does seem daft to me. I used to be a teacher and when parents asked me for class lists I never thought to check with the office/head, I just wrote out a list of names!

If you can't get a list from school I would ask one of the other mums if they know the names of all of the children. I hate to be sexist but a mum with a daughter is a safe bet - don't know how old they are but if they are little it's more likely to be the girls who know the names of everyone in the class!

WorraLiberty · 06/12/2011 16:59

That's weird

We get a list of first names and surnames...though we have to pay 10p

randommoment · 06/12/2011 17:00

YANBU. Which year is he in? If you know anyone on the PTA, they might have an informal list to check against.

randommoment · 06/12/2011 17:00

Goodness MASSIVE cross posting!

Original poster
MincePieFlavouredVoidka · 06/12/2011 17:01

He is in reception.

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 06/12/2011 17:03

I've just got my lists for DS1's class (year R and year 1 mixed) and DS2's preschool. DS2 only does tues and thurs mornings and the preschool couldn't tell me who on the list DS2 would have met and who he hadn't so I'll be doing a card to all 38 of them and hope the parents of children he doesn't know don't think it's too weird.

janek · 06/12/2011 17:06

at dd's school there is a photo of every child and their name outside the classroom. i saw several mums making notes last christmas, and a friend also photographed the whole noticeboard for her daughter's christmas cards/birthday invitations/something or other.

januaryjojo · 06/12/2011 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sherbetpips · 06/12/2011 17:09

We do ours through the pta rather than school. The pta speak to you on the first day and ask for name, mobile, address and email plus childs first and last name. Your choice what you fill in. Some fill it all in and some don't. Keeps it out of school hands.

TubbyDuffs · 06/12/2011 17:11

We've always had a mum acting as class rep who at the very beginning of term sends out a little questionnaire with child's name, parents' names, date of birth, phone number, email address requests on it. Then the list is circulated to the class, so that we can organise ourselves for parties etc.

I have never known anyone want to be excluded from the list, and everyone has given details willingly.

MabelLucyAttwell · 06/12/2011 17:15

BoattoBolivia

It doesn't need photocopies. Why can't there be 20 or 30 of sheets of paper in the classroom at tutor time and each child writes his/her name on each sheet. 100 years ago when paper was in short supply, pupils of which I was one were given half a sheet of cheap paper to copy down the note that the school wanted to send home and the teacher had written on the blackboard. For instance, something like: 'Miss Copp is sorry to tell you that the school will be closed on 13th February'.

cinnamongreyhound · 06/12/2011 17:16

We have been given a list of first names of all the children in ds1's class, don't really understand. You could just ask other mums or have a look on their trays when you go into the classroom?

earlyriser · 06/12/2011 17:20

We aren't encouraged to send out cards to the whole class, instead, for the payment of £1 the children can design a card with a message (to the whole class if they like) and it just stuck on the wall of the school.

CalmaLlamaDown · 06/12/2011 17:21

That's just crazy - yanbu!

My DS started reception class in sept and at the end of week one they sent home a class photo with the childrens first names underneath. It was lovely way to get to recognize all the new people. Tell them their policy is out of line with what a lot of others offer!

CovMum · 06/12/2011 17:21

No our school won't allow lists either. When mine were in reception and I was allowed into the classroom I used to write a few names down a day from the children's drawers and eventually got the whole class. Whenever someone new joins or someone leaves I change the list. I have it on my PC so it is always there for birthdays, christmas cards etc.

In your case I would do blank cards and ask the teacher to give them out.

Jamillalliamilli · 06/12/2011 17:24

I'd be far more concerned that apparently your speech delayed ASD child isn't already in possession of a list of who's who and methods of identifying his peers, especially as he's likely to have poor facial recognition skills alongside the social skills difficulties. (has ASD teen)
The best you can do is make sure every child has a card from him, and work on the other parents for next year, but do think about how he is being helped or not, because I'm hearing a school that doesn't know how to help your child overcome his barriers and difficulties. (sorry have to post and run)

olibeansmummy · 06/12/2011 17:28

Does he have a ta? I'd ask her for a list of children's first names if so. I do it for the 3 kids I support Smile

manicinsomniac · 06/12/2011 17:33

How totally ridiculous.

At our school all the parents have to do is log into the webstie and, voila, full class lists, name and surname, for the entire school.

WilsonFrickett · 06/12/2011 17:37

Can't you wander in at pick up on some pretence - like a forgotten lunch bag - and just nab the names from the coat pegs?

natation · 06/12/2011 17:55

Our children's schools (covering ages 2 1/2 to 18) all give out class lists which include the names of children, address(es), parents' names (shared care here in cases of separation, 99% of children have 2 parents), phone numbers of both parents, emails. If you want information NOT to appear, it's up to each parent. These lists are given out at the beginning of the year and some teachers also put them up outside the classrooms. I've never met a parent who objects to all information appearing, some withhold certain details (such as tel nos) It's the norm here rather than the exception. It's great for organising socials and play dates.

natation · 06/12/2011 17:56

Sorry, I'm talking about Belgian schools. UK schools are just too scared of litigation.

oldmerryolesoul · 06/12/2011 17:59

In pre-school we were given a list of names so I asked for one in reception. to be told they were not allowed to give one out.... but I could copy the names from the book folder drawer or the birthday wall

exoticfruits · 06/12/2011 18:05

If you can't get a list from school I would ask one of the other mums if they know the names of all of the children. I hate to be sexist but a mum with a daughter is a safe bet - don't know how old they are but if they are little it's more likely to be the girls who know the names of everyone in the class!

Excellent idea! It is true-much better bet with a DD.