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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What would you do?

19 replies

VirginMary77 · 05/12/2011 21:35

This weekend I met up with some very old friends I'd lost touch with. One of them was a guy I'd REALLY fancied 10 years ago.
Seems the feeling is now mutual. He asked if I was single (yes) and if I had kids (yes) It was remarked by most of the other people in our company that he obviously had a thing for me - and they couldn't her what he was saying!
All night long he told me I was gorgeous, sexy, beautiful, fit, slim, toned, gorgeous (again) my hair looked great, I was beautiful (again), stunning, he couldn't believe how fantastic I looked. I actually got a bit bored of it. He didn't try to get to know me or talk to me, save the two earlier questions.
I'd arranged to share a taxi with one of the girls there, but she was determined that me and this guy should be left alone, so she got him in the taxi and said she'd wait for the next one. Luckily she was forced into the taxi by another friend. She insisted on being dropped off first, and as soon as we were alone, this guy grabbed me and tried to shove his tongue down my throat. I pushed him away - gently - and thankfully arrived home. He asked for my number. I told him to find me on the group page on FB and left.
All the group were online the next day trying to set up another get together, and chatting about the night we'd all enjoyed. I looked on his profile and he is in a relationship with a woman from our town!
I told a friend who says I should message this woman and let her know what her man has been up to.
Should I?

OP posts:

Kayano · 05/12/2011 21:37

No just think you had a lucky escape

ViviPrudolf · 05/12/2011 21:38

what Kayano said

StealthPolarBear · 05/12/2011 21:39

stay well away. And think about how nice your friends are too! You are married and showed no interest, sounds like they just wnated some gossip

squeakytoy · 05/12/2011 21:40

Definate lucky escape.

I wouldnt bother messaging the woman though, as it could very easily backfire onto you. Just mark it down to experience and pat yourself on the back for not letting it go further.

scuzy · 05/12/2011 21:41

oh what a dilema!

just drwa a line under it and forget it/him

slavetofilofax · 05/12/2011 21:41

No, she will find out soon enough. You are welcome to tell him you think he is a twat though.

Original poster

VirginMary77 · 05/12/2011 21:44

Yeah, just leave it, that was my thought (I'm not married, BTW, I'm single!)

But my friend was really insistent, asking how I'd feel if I were the GF. Knowing that things WOULD have gone further if he'd had his way.

Poor girl.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 05/12/2011 21:44

what is the dilemma? Whether to tell his wife? No, you are not friends with either and you did nothing wrong. Would tell your DH though, if you haven't already

StealthPolarBear · 05/12/2011 21:45

oh sorry, I read the op as married (yes) kids (yes)

squeakytoy · 05/12/2011 21:46

Sounds like your friend is a bit of a shit stirrer, who probably knew he had a gf, and that begs the question why she didnt tell you on the night.

scuzy · 05/12/2011 21:47

if you werent bothered with him as you implied with his lack of getting to know you conversation and nauseating compliments why did you get in the taxi with him or just tell your friends (or him) your not interested and stop pushing it?

Original poster

VirginMary77 · 05/12/2011 21:49

The friend who wants me to tell is another who I rang and spoke to after the event, not the same one who was pushing me to "go for it" with him, sorry if that wasn't clear, there's no shit stirring that way.

OP posts:

Pancakeflipper · 05/12/2011 21:49

No - leave it. You won't have been the first and you won't be the last but the girlfriend has to find out herself.

Original poster

VirginMary77 · 05/12/2011 21:50

I did tell my friend I wasn't interested, but she had her heart set on playing Cilla, it seems! :o)

OP posts:

scuzy · 05/12/2011 21:52

doesnt sound like much of a friend .... unless you didnt make it clear and was actually enjoying the attention.

Binfullofgibletsonthe26th · 05/12/2011 21:56

He wanted a shag didn't he? And nothing else...otherwise he'd have engaged in an actual conversation.

Well done for extracting yourself out of a potentially shit situation.

The least said about it the better IMO. You don't want her finding out half the story and making her own assumptions about you. She could be a nutter.

manicinsomniac · 05/12/2011 22:10

I would leave it.

I have a work colleague who I would have slept with 3 or 4 times by now if I hadn't forcibly ejected him from my house in panic. I have kissed him ...

I see his wife regularly but I'd never tell her. He has 4 young children and loves them and his wife to piece. He's just got mental health issues and is a terrible drunk. I'm not going to ruin his life just because he's a twat when he drinks.

neilyourbedroomsonfire · 05/12/2011 23:00

Maybe he is in an open relationship with this woman and it's all above board? You don't mention in your OP that he claimed he was single.

Shutupanddrive · 06/12/2011 07:58

Definately leave it. His partner won't thank you for it, and even if she does question him on it, nothing actually happened did it? So he will just get away with it. Sounds like he just wanted a shag as he wasn't really interested in getting to know you as a person. You had a lucky escape!

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