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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU not to accept this cheque?

6 replies

Stephb88 · 05/12/2011 21:04

Bit of background:

My paternal grandfather split from my paternal grandmother when my father was concieved. They'd not had a lot of contact with my father until he was older and went looking for them. They then played some role in his family life. When I was born (26 yrs ago) they met me but a few months later moved to another country which is where they remain.

They're now in their 70's. I tracked them down a few months ago via the internet and have had some contact with them since. My 'grandfather' apparently is not at all interested but his wife (who he married not long after my dad was conceived) responded and has been very pleasant and polite.

She has also spoken to my mum on the phone as they'd been quite close before their move to Cyprus so have had a couple of 'catch up' phone calls. His wife has expressed her guilt in not doing enough for their family. They have had no children between them so my father is the only 'child' between them.

Today I surprisingly received a Christmas card with a cheque of £100 in it "to buy myself something nice".

Although it's extremely lovely of them I don't feel comfortable about taking it - it seems a lot of money from people I don't know. My mum just says it's no more than what we deserve so to just take it and it would be rude to say "thanks but no thanks".

My mum also tells me tonight that from her phone calls with my grandfathers wife, she was informed that should my grandfather go before her, there will be a large inheritence passed down (she has no family at all she says). However, should it be the other way around he's apparently not leaving anything to anyone. Although this may or may not happen, I'd definitely be much more uncomfortable with that. I personally don't feel I have a 'right' to anything of theirs. It's always been known that they're extremely 'well off'. They've managed to support themselves in another country for 26 yrs as they weren't entited to work (until the last couple of yrs I think), but this makes no difference to me.

What do you think? Would you just accept and kindly say "thank you" or would you leave it? AIBU in thinking that I shouldn't be entitled to anything?

OP posts:
UnexpectedOrange · 05/12/2011 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DamnBamboo · 05/12/2011 21:07

It's got bugger all to do with entitlement, it's to do with whom the deceased chooses to leave their money to.

Why wouldn't you take it? Will you feel better for it?

flyingspaghettimonster · 05/12/2011 21:10

Your life. I would take it and buy something for the kids with it. I would also take an inheritance if it were given - why not Can you really say 100pounds right before Christmas or an inheritance won't be handy?? Write a nice thankyou note, with photos of the kids in it. Sounds like the wife would appreciate it.

AKissIsNotAContract · 05/12/2011 21:15

If they have no other children then who else would they leave it to? If you don't want the money then give it all to charity.

Stephb88 · 05/12/2011 21:19

Perhaps it's just me then Blush

flyingspaghettimonster Yes, it really would come in handy - and an inheritence from them would probably be quite life changing. I'm not saying it isn't extremely nice - I just feel like I'm accepting money from strangers which feels a bit odd. I don't know....
You are right, perhaps they'd be very happy with a lovely thank you letter and maybe I could put it in DS's bank account or buy him an extra Christmas pressie...

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 05/12/2011 21:32

If I remember correctly Cyprus inheritance laws aren't the same as UK ones. In the UK you can leave your estate to whoever you like. I believe, but don't quote me on this, that in Cyprus you can only do this with a certain percentage. The rest has to go to your descendants.

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