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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I or is dh, re kids presents

161 replies

rogersmellyonthetelly · 05/12/2011 17:45

I have 2 kids 5 and 7. I am constantly pestered to allow them to play on my iPhone. Understandably I'm getting a bit pissed off with this as I have to fight to get my phone, and should they break it its not only bloody expensive to fix but also I'm without a phone.
I'm strongly considering buying them an IPod touch each for Christmas, as they do the same job in terms of games but don't cost the earth. Dh says they are too young and it's tough shit. Thing is he isn't the one who is wittered at constantly for the phone and has to listen to arguments about whose bloody turn it is. AIBU to be considering buying them one each from me as their present and leaving dh out of it?

OP posts:
Original poster
rogersmellyonthetelly · 05/12/2011 18:29

Sorry if I sound like I'm not taking on board all comments, I am, just got a bit touchy about some of the bad parenting comments because I want to get my kids something they like.

OP posts:
Catsdontcare · 05/12/2011 18:31

As your dh us dead against it I would not do it either. I was set against s being bought a wii when was four, dh didn't agree but he did respect my feelings on it and waited.

clam · 05/12/2011 18:32

Is this for real? Shock
Who's in charge in your house? You or your kids?
Say NO, and mean it.
I'm with your DH, and I would say you can't go ahead with a purchase like that unless both of you are on board with it. If so, I think he'd be well within his rights to have a strop on Christmas Day.

Catsdontcare · 05/12/2011 18:34

I don't think you are a bad parent I can see why it would be a great gift actually and with strict rules there is no reason why it is anymore likely to get broken than a ds.

I just think it is a bit much at that age and always wonder where dO you go next once you've started buying things like that?

DeliaSucksStollen · 05/12/2011 18:34

The other thing to consider is that presumably if you got an ipod touch each as they are so expensive they wouldn't be getting much else. Would they not be missing out on some 'proper' toys to open, enjoy and play/engage with? (I sound like such an old fart).

MrsRhettButler · 05/12/2011 18:35

Re the sharing times, I had this problem with dd and dss and I bought a little timer and they would set it each time and have 10 mins each, it works really well and has totally cut out arguing and me having to intervene.

LambofGod · 05/12/2011 18:35

Just say No.

amistillsexy · 05/12/2011 18:35

I, too, think it sounds as though you've made up your mind already.

The thing that shocks me most about your posts, OP, is that you say that you don't want a bad atmosphere on Christmas morning when the DCs open a present that DH has vetoed.
So, you are thinking of buying the things he doesn't want them to have and just keeping quiet about it?
In my opinion, that is a recipe for a ruined relationship. If the 2 of you can't agree on one thing, you need to find another thing that you do both agree on.

Your children will get far more play value out of TOYS, rather than adult items that they use as toys.

KateShmate · 05/12/2011 18:35

I let my DC's occasionally play on my phone - but theres been a few times where the game has 'gone wrong' and one of my DD's has thrown it in a strop.. so I usually say no to the game-playing and they rarely ask now. I dont mind if I'm going to be sitting with them, or if its because older DD's have games consoles to play on.
With the iPad - they don't even know it has games on it! Grin

Catsdontcare · 05/12/2011 18:36

It's horses for courses though I suppose. I for the life of me can't understand why a primary age child NEEDS a mobile but others think it is a necessity

Chandon · 05/12/2011 18:36

I got my 9 year old an ipod touch.

I think my 7 year old is still too young.

they are only allowed to use mine on special occasions, like when we're out for dinner and they get bored.

I am not afraid to say "no" a lot. It's part of being a parent. but then again, at 9 i thought oldest DS was old enough. i still think it's very young.

Are you sure they would not be much happier by you spending that sort of money on "proper" toys?

MrsRhettButler · 05/12/2011 18:37

Hello! Hi, it's me again. Wink would you consider second hand ones? And would your dh be more agreeable to that?

Chandon · 05/12/2011 18:39

mine (well, DS) ipod (not phone!) cost 120 (refurbished one from Apple store) btw, which I though was a lot. Saw prices of 300 flying by here, but it's not necessary to spend that!

MrsRhettButler · 05/12/2011 18:39

Actually, just get one second hand one and an egg timer! Wink problem solved!

Bellavita · 05/12/2011 18:39

I do not let my boys (14 and 12) play on my I-Phone and neither does DH. They are ours and that is it and if they do ask, we say no.

However, that does not mean you cannot buy yours something of their own. But you need to be firmer with your children, your phone, your rules, No WRESTLING involved.

Original poster
rogersmellyonthetelly · 05/12/2011 18:40

They both have plenty of traditional toys, thanks to adoring gps and aunties etc, so they wouldnt be missing out as such. They are also restricted to half an hour telly and half an hour electronic time (ds, iPhone, wii etc) per day.
I'm just of the opinion that if it were dhs phone they were pestering for they would be no objections, but because it's me having to listen to it he can sit on his high horse and preach about it.

OP posts:
Chandon · 05/12/2011 18:42

just don't let your kids pester you!!! they are old enough to understand "not now!" or "not today". or "no", aren't they???

MrsRhettButler · 05/12/2011 18:42

JUMPS UP AND DOWN AND WAVES MADLY AT OP here, £89

MrsRhettButler · 05/12/2011 18:43
Original poster
rogersmellyonthetelly · 05/12/2011 18:43

Sorry, I should clarify, I'm not wanting to get them an iPhone, they don't need a mobile, that would be ridiculous at their age. It's the iPod touch im talking about, it's the cheapest device they do that has a screen big enough and that can download the games they like to play with.

OP posts:
Original poster
rogersmellyonthetelly · 05/12/2011 18:45

Than you MRB, I'm looking at 2nd hand prices now

OP posts:
KateShmate · 05/12/2011 18:47

Delia I dont think you sound like an old fart! I agree!
Cheapest iTouch is £175 - I wouldnt spend that much on all my DDs' presents, let alone just one.
I know Xmas isnt all about presents, but its hard for a 5YO to understand that if they get an iTouch, they get nothing else.. or if they do, only a few very cheap toys.

racingheart · 05/12/2011 18:54

Cheapest I-pod touch is £149 from Tesco or Comet. We're getting one for our 9 year old. Not sure if they need a docking thing too If they do, the cheapest deal might be Curry's but buy it in store as I've heard they're in trouble financially.

SantasStrapon · 05/12/2011 18:56

I still don't understand why you can't just say 'NO'. It's your bloody phone, WTAF are you letting a five year old tell you what to do. Mine don't touch my phone, they have never been allowed to play on my phones.

Nesbo · 05/12/2011 19:00

OP - so you are ignoring your husbands opinion (apparently) and your kids pretty much seem to ignore yours. There might be a pattern in there somewhere, if only I could see it...

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