Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my nearly 30 yr old sister should grow up

15 replies

mrsjay · 05/12/2011 12:50

now before i go on i do love my little sister

, HOWEVER she acts like a teenager and its getting embarassing now shes got a good job , still lives at home and parties all the time , she gets roaring drunk and ends up in dangerous situations , parties in strangers flats etc she just doesnt know when to stop , the latest is her bf had enough and dumped her over a drunk incident at the weekend , she is devastated but i just want to shout at her to grow up and behave like an adult not an over grown teenager , she also hangs around with girls younger than her , I know im sounding like a miserable old boot , AIBU to think like this or is it non of my business .

OP posts:
DoesNotGiveAFig · 05/12/2011 12:51

Not your business, but I can see why it'd annoy you for sure.

fuzzypeach1750 · 05/12/2011 12:53

sorry your sister is acting like a fool! if she were living in her own house and supporting herself totally then how she choses to live her life is up to her. how do your paretns feel about her behaviour?

you dont sound like an old fool, not at all. my sister is early 20s, married, doesnt work, doesnt get out of bed before mid day (shes sooooooo tired) but is trying for a baby thinking that her life wont alter!!!! major wake up call coming!!!!

fuzzypeach1750 · 05/12/2011 12:54

i think it is your business of the way she lives is having a negative effect on your parents.

Original poster
mrsjay · 05/12/2011 12:57

thats my mum is at the end of her tether and makes excuses and bails her out all the time and my dad doesnt know or maybe ignores the half of it , I thought shed finally settled down with this guy , and shes going to pubs my dd goes to , last month my dd saw her arsing about and hid from her auntie Sad . I just wish she would just calm down a little bit .

OP posts:
fuzzypeach1750 · 05/12/2011 13:20

Is she struggling with something? Do your parents favour you? Sounds so stupid for grown women but there's a lot of resentment from my sister towards me and they seem to have similar traits.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/12/2011 13:23

YANBU. Making excuses and bailing out 'kidults' never ends well. The only thing worse than a spoilt brat is a 30-something spoilt brat. I'd be having some frank chats with your parents, encouraging them to release her into the community. Then again, I'd also tell her that she's taking the piss... because I'm not good at keeping schtum :) What she does once she's independent is entirely her own business.

SinicalSal · 05/12/2011 13:29

yeah I think the same as you but apprently I'm a judgey old misery for it.

30 is stretching it a bit for expecting indulgence, I think we are all due a couple of years of it in our late teens but ten years of making other peoples' lives harder not easier is wrong.

Not to mention the effect on your health of ten plus years of teen style caning. Physical health and also it gives alcohol dependency ample time to get it's claws stuck in you. if her bf broke up with her because of her drinking she should really take stock.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 05/12/2011 13:59

Does she have a drink problem?

soandsosmummy · 05/12/2011 14:07

YANBU. At 30 she's more than old enough to have some consideration for others. She's not 20 and she's had plenty of time to get this sort of behaviour out of her system

I feel really sorry for your parents having to put up with her. She should buckle down, contribute to the household and reassess her life . To be honest it sounds as if she needs help

Original poster
mrsjay · 05/12/2011 14:19

thanks ladies i didnt want to seem the stick in the mum blah di blah , no i dont think shes resentful of me there is a lot of years between us I had my dd before she left primary school so shes been an only child and she was a spoiled brat , shes a lovely girl shes a superviser in a carehome , I dunno shes just been indulged and my parents need to stop , if anything i should be resentful of her (im not ) as she got alot more freedom than i did , they never said no to her EVER , im going to have a word with her , and yes she had a definate drink problem although she sees it as having a good time . as alchys drink cider for breakfast according to her ,

OP posts:
CamperFan · 05/12/2011 17:21

I think it sounds like she needs some help too. If she's getting in to "dangerous situations" and has now lost her boyfriend over drinking, then she does indeed have a drink problem and is probably really unhappy.

Gloribe · 05/12/2011 17:24

Eh, she's in her twenties. If you don't get pissed and fuck around in your twenties then when can you?

SinicalSal · 05/12/2011 18:28

she's heading for thirty, and it's causing problems for her parents and bf. Time to grow up, imo. 20 is different beast to 30.

SolidGoldVampireBat · 05/12/2011 18:45

Two issues, really. One is that she may, by the sound of it, have a drink problem which may need addressing (though of course no one else can make someone with a drink problem stop drinking, your options are to accept it or disengage from the person). The other is that actually, if a person wants to go to parties and clubs and can afford to do so it is not the business of any stickybeak to insist that they are 'too old' and should stop enjoying themselves and stick to being at home watching television like what normal people do.

PlumpDogPillionaire · 05/12/2011 19:14

Grin @ release her into the community

New posts on this thread. Refresh page