to think that when someone says "what would you like?" they should listen?

[LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite]

I do NOT want to sound ungrateful, but SIL offered to buy our baby's Moses Basket as her gift to us. I thought it was a lovely gesture and accepted. She then asked what kind we would like. I said I really would like a white one, rather than cream, and that I am a bit of a plain jane, not keen on teddy bears.

She has mentioned a few she has seen, and eventually chose one which I have just took delivery of this morning, from the depot. On opening, it's cream with a teddy bear on.

As above, I don't want to seem ungrateful but seriously, why ask???????

I;d have rather she not ask what we want and get what she fancied, if that's what she was going to do anyways. It may seem a bit PFB (baby wont give a hoot what colour the basket is) but I am allowed to prefer one colour over another, and when given the choice, I said white.

Am not happy, more at the fact that, with a week to go there is little I can do to resolve it that wouldnt cause upset within the family (they are local so no chance of them never seeing the new basket if iI swapped it). I more unhappy at my own reaction, tbh, as I really try not to sweat the small stuff but why ask???

Woooosahhhhh

You have to ask yourself "does it really matter?".

I am with the OP - why would you ask what someone wants and then ignore it and get the very thing they have expressed a preference not to have?

It makes more sense for them not to ask and just get what they want for the OP.

Yes because it matters to the OP.

I know. It is ridiculous, and totally out of character (possible I can blame 39wk pregnancy hormones?) that it is bothering me this much

I do think that white rather than cream is not massively specific, but agree if I thought it would bother me this much I should have bought it myself. However, as she asked what I would like, I (wrongly?) presumed she would take this on board?

There are loads of white moses baskets out there.

It does seem a bit daft to have asked if she was going to disregard what you said. Maybe they delivered the wrong one?!

OTOH, cream with a teddy bear sounds much nicer than plain old boring white lovely!

I'm afraid I think YABunecessarilyU, sorry. Really. She probably saw the plain white one and thought maybe it looked a bit cheap and well, plain, so opted for the other one.

It's not like it's full of tacky nylon faux-lace in a hideous colour.

You know you are being a bit pissy about this don't you.
You have a very nice moses basket that the sprog will use for a relatively short period of time. It is not important.

UANBU_I'd be pissed off too. However, take heart-a good friend of mine has a MIL & SIL who ask her what she would like and/or suggest things-then buy something completely different and the complete opposite to her taste. They don't provide gift receipts and the SIL rips off the tags on clothes so my friend can't exchange. All very odd-and silly.

You could always replace the coverlet with a plain cream, non teddy beared (shudder!) one. Not the same as all white, but maybe it won't seem as naff to you?

I agree, obviously in the grand scheme of life it matters not a jot, and you know that BUT why ask? why ask and then ignore your specific wishes?

That would get my goat too even though i'd know IWBU

I think you should redirect your energies to writing her a nice thank you letter. Maybe the one with a teddy on was on special offer? It hardly sounds tacky or garish, it's just a teddy! I think you are being fussy, and yes YABU. If you have such strict criteria you should have gone out and bought your own. This is a gift.

Good luck with your bundle, BTW. He or she probably won't sleep in said moses basket anyhow if anything like my DC's!

I agree, whats the point of asking, then ignoring what you say?

Unless she jotted down 'cream & teddy bear' thinking that would remind her what to avoid and then got mixed up...

YANBU - she asked what you wanted and then ignored you and brought you what you specifically said you DIDN'T want. I'm sure you're a bit hormonal too, but in you position I'd be wishing I just brought my own moses basket.

Did you ask her nicely if it's possible to swap for a white one (I bloody hate the ones covered in bears myself).

If you're stuck with it, you'll only use it for a month or 2 anyway.

I think she got a bit muddled. They aren't in the thing for very long anyway. Could you not just laugh and accept?

Actually I don't think YABU - I woud hate something with teddies on. However, I don't understand why there isn't enough time to sort it out, you do know that a Moses basket isn't a compulsory piece of equipment don't you?

I have managed to have many babies and never owned one, I don't really know what they are for.

YABUngrateful.

Baby will only be in it for a very short term so really does it matter? Cream/white all same thing really anyway.

Get over it. You (the baby) will only use it for a matter of weeks anyway. Suck it up girl.

Thank you for the responses. Please let me re-iterate: I am bothered ONLY by the fact that I was asked what I wanted, gave (imo not particularly strict) thoughts, and was bought the opposite. We are different, and therefore have different opinions, and while white may not have been her preference, it was mine, and she knew it.

For those who suggest it may have come down to price, all delivery details were sent in the box, and the company she ordered from have a choice of white baskets at the same price. I initially thought the wrong item may have been included, and so checked against the delivery note, but all seems correct.

Should SIL have said she was buying a basket of her own choice, this would be a moot point. She asked, I told her what I would like, and knew she was looking for what I had discussed. Therefore, I think that while in the grand scheme of things this may seem a little UR, for her to ask, and then disregard I dont think IAMBU.

When I ask others what they would like as gifts, I do my utmost to find something that matches their requirements / wants. If I can't find it, I would speak to them about it, not just get something oppposite to what I know they would like.

White or cream ... not much difference is there? She probably rejected pink, blue, yellow etc. YABU.

Maybe she found that one in a sale and she's trying to save some dosh?

I really wish this was all I had to worry about! I'm pleased you realise how ridiculous you are being.

FWIW, babies are often sick on their bedding, so just get a plain white Moses basket set (to use as a spare, in case your sil asks when she visits) and put that on top of the cream set.

Ibrolass I would like a Moses Basket, and to me it is essential as I would like LO to have it's own bed to sleep in. Delivered by a company with notoriously bad customer service so am scared that if I send it back for a swap, i'll be waiting for weeks.

Glad i'm not the only person who dislikes teddy bears

I think she got muddled and thought it was the cream one you asked for.