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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that swimming classes seem to be

39 replies

laptopdancer · 05/12/2011 08:41

A place where the extremes of the most dreadful types of mother gather.

We have the helicopter mums, the shower hoggers, the passive aggressive, the downright rude, loud parenters and the "oh no, lets go over this way Jasmine, that lady is sitting there and taking up all the room, we dont do that now do we" types.

The school gate is nothing on this.

OP posts:
Original poster
laptopdancer · 05/12/2011 08:41

For the record there are no dads at ours

OP posts:
anothermadamebutterfly · 05/12/2011 08:54

Come to my DC's swimming classes instead - my DH takes them and he just goes off to have coffee and read the paper, and then lets them get changed by themselves as far as I know. He says it is his favourite extra-curricular activity.

Bloodymary · 05/12/2011 09:07

I really wouldnt know, I just help her into her cossie, then go up to the viewing area with coffee and papers.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 05/12/2011 09:08

I totally agree! I have met all manner of awful mothers at swimming lessons. The one that spreads all her DD's clothes and towels out on a whole bench in the changing room expecting the other 10 members of the class to share the other bench. The mother that comes and sits with you and makes passive aggressive comments about how she's shocked your DD has learnt crawl so quickly but that did you know they won't move her up to the next group until she's really good? The pushy competitive mum that shouts from the poolside if her child's performance isn't up to her exacting standards.

Me? Well I just like to sit and read a book or go on the internet on my phone,but well, some of those awful parents probably judge me for that don't they? Grin

Original poster
laptopdancer · 05/12/2011 09:12

we dont have a viewing room, just bleachers (is that what they are called?)

Id LOVE a viewing room

OP posts:
Wordsonapage · 05/12/2011 09:13

iPod and headphones.. Pretend it's a language course.

Last into the changing room and out in double quick time ..shower at home

Sorted

Wordsonapage · 05/12/2011 09:14

Shout out random bits of mandarin if anyone bothers you

aldiwhore · 05/12/2011 09:16

Ugh... my idea of hell. We now put the kids in the week long intensive courses each holiday (not half terms) and they swim as well as their peers... we practice in between in our local pool.

Although I am liking the random bits of Mandarin shouting.

tootssweet · 05/12/2011 09:25

Omg I am 'Jasmine's' mum Blush

In my defence there are some pretty feral kids at swimming & I really don't want 'Jasmine' getting ideas!

legspinner · 05/12/2011 09:47

IMHO the shower hoggers are the worst...they spend hours passing different arrays of bottles into the stall, and don't seem to notice the growing line of cold wet girls waiting patiently behind them!

I do feel sorry for the wee lad who was in DD's class last term - it's an hour and a quarter long and his parents are both there exhorting him to swim lengths for at least another 30 mins after it finishes (poor lad doesn't get any play time).

aldiwhore · 05/12/2011 09:47

We don't shower either... we speed dress, go home and run a hot bath.

Original poster
laptopdancer · 05/12/2011 09:49

I must admit we dont shower either. Too many princesses in the shower

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/12/2011 09:52

swimming lessons are the work of the devil. I said my DS could give them up when he could swim competantly and safely without armbands. Thank god, that day has long been here so we dont have to endure them anymore :)

I still remember the nightmare days of when DS did football. Some of the mums there.........dear oh dear! The club had to send out a letter to parents to remind them that it was a reception club and could they keep their language clean Shock I remember saying to one mum "calm down dear, they are not at Wembley".......very odd behavior!

SuePurblybiltbyElves · 05/12/2011 09:52

Ours is in a tiny pool, parents sit on six garden chairs at the poolside. So it's great fun when Mummy, Daddy, Big Sister and Granny come to watch one child and the rest of us either stand awkwardly for 30 minutes or can sit on some very wet steps by the door Hmm.

I moved classes because I thought I'd push in one very loud Encouraging Mother.

DooinMeCleanin · 05/12/2011 09:55

Try dance classes next time. You'll be begging to back to swimming 5 minutes in, especially if they start straight after school and thus have all their work with them..... "Oh look Hermoine, you've gone up a reading level. How clever. No-one else in your class is on this level are they? No these are year 6 books"

My child was normally stuffing Quavers into her face like she'd never been fed while all this was going on completely oblivious to all the other children preening and showing off their new jazz shoes.

No-one spoke to me. I didn't fit in with my dog walking wellies and massive, unfashionable rain coats Grin

Helltotheno · 05/12/2011 09:58

Yes it's an absolute PITA... which is why I've pushed mine into early independence with the promise of a minuscule amount of cash for the first out of the change room... all while I catch up on my reading and a nice cuppa. Works every time Grin

If you think swimming lessons are bad, try track & field events: I thought I'd seen all there was to see of competitive parents til I went to a couple of these... never again * shudders *

CamperFan · 05/12/2011 10:02

I don't know, I am too busy trying to stop 13 month old DS2 from crawling the length of the poolside and diving in. Every now and then I try and glance up at DS1 and give him a wave or a cheesy thumbs up. Then we're into the cubicle for the worlds fastest change and home. I hate swimming lesson days, esp in the winter.

Helltotheno · 05/12/2011 10:03

Lol at the football and dancing! Have experienced the 'football moms' alright...
extremely bizarre ....

SummerRain · 05/12/2011 10:04

Ours are lovely.... most of the mothers (and father singular) seem lovely, everyone is friendly and polite.

My biggest complaint is that people can't seem to read the sign that says 'No shampoo in the shower'! (showers are right next to the pool and it gets tracked into the water)

witherhills · 05/12/2011 10:06

No-one has mentioned the parents who need to talk to the instructor every week about their precious childs progress, taking up 5-10 minutes of the next lesson

munstersmum · 05/12/2011 10:10

Would like to create a special category of shower hoggers with buggy. Tarquin may be asleep but you could make a choice to either carry him or let Jasmine shower supervised from 10 paces or at home.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 05/12/2011 10:14

Ah yes, dance mums are another odd breed too Dooin. Needless to say I've long since stopped my kids doing dance lessons for that very reason...

Alouisee · 05/12/2011 10:17

Swimming Club is whole new circle of hell. Parents with stopwatches, yelling out microsecond improvements to their pfb. Coaches leaning in to the lane to tell the swimmers they'll get moved down if they don't hurry up. Kids in tears when they get taken to one side and told not to bother coming back.

Don't miss those days at all.

redpanda13 · 05/12/2011 10:18

Gosh I must be really lucky. DD's swimming lessons are nothing like that.

Pool is beside a supermarket. Parents had to be reminded that for under 8's you actually have to be in the building. We were doing our big shop during the lesson. We now take it in turns to leave a parent to deal with emergencies and still get the shopping in.

We did have one mum with two very nervous boys who wanted them put up a class. She insisted they were in a more advanced class in their old pool. Instuctor said she could have a refund and take them back there. Never saw her again Grin

WhoWhoWhoWho · 05/12/2011 10:20

Urgh I get soo annoyed every week at swimming. Tiny changing room in newly built swimming pool with not enough cubicles yet every mother except me and one other mum insist on leaving their children's belongings spread out other the benches in the cubicles instead of using the lockers. This means I arrive with DS (or get DS out of the pool) only to find there is no cubicle to use that isn't full of someone else's stuff. Angry Can't change him out in the middle of the area of the changing room as DS is still in pull ups and needs changing. Plus no communal benches or pegs. Then there are the very loud squeaking cubicles doors (they are brand new, why are they squeaking so loudly like that?), and the handrier going off every two minutes - both of which cause DS to scream and cry in terror every single bloody time. It's a nightmare!

I usually spend all my time in there muttering about selfishness to DS as we fail to find an empty cubicle and I loudly tell him it's tough we will use one that has stuff in it and if they come while we are in there it's tough they will have to wait.
On the plus side there is no sitting by the pool allowed in the new pool building, so pushy parents are very annoyed they can no longer sit by the pool side, and all cram themselves around the TINY viewing windows to get a peek of their precious swimmers.

Can you tell I hate swimming lesson day??? Hmm

I'm quite glad to get that out of my system though so thanks OP. Grin

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