Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

jehovah's witness and christmas cards

41 replies

BlissfulMistletoe · 04/12/2011 21:27

there is a little girl in DS class that is a jehovah's witness, now she is one a ds friends. They play together and after school she said love you alfie (not ds name)

OP posts:

lisad123 · 05/12/2011 07:27

Not going to birthdays is normal for Jw aswell, we don't celebrate our own either. Please don't worry that she's missing out, it really isn't as bad as you think it is. Certainly we have present day but also give presents to friends if we see something they might like ect

PiratecatClaus · 05/12/2011 07:39

what's present day? is it a day with a date, or just picked by the family. does everyone get a gift. I'm genuinely interested! Also as a Jehovah's Witness, do you have knowledge of when you birthday is.

Bathsheba · 05/12/2011 07:41

I have a friend who is a JW and I am currently doing a lot of research into JWs. A card is perfectly acceptable but it must have no reference to Christmas - have a Lovely Winter, Happy Thursday, Have a wonderful School Holiday are all perfectly acceptable.

Depending on his age you can use it as a fantastic opportunity to explain about her faith to him - they uise a different translation of the bible (The New World Translation) so if you want, find a nice verse to go in the card about being lovely, but make sureyou quote it in the NWT (it will be greatly appreciated that you have gone to this effort) - you can find the NWT online

HattiFattner · 05/12/2011 07:46

part of my extended family are JWs - one of them is an elder. We send them cards as we hardly ever see them - they live oop north. A christmas card is as much saying "Hi, we are thinking of you at this time of year" as it is celebrating the birth of Christ. We generally send pics of the kids too. They have never said "please dont send us cards" - in fact their DDs send us cards, even though they are supposed to be JWs! I think cos they have LOs now and want an excuse to show them off. CLearly they dont display them, but I think they treat it like a post card.

I think the idea of a sparkly snowman with a "have a lovely winter holday" sounds nice.

cwtch4967 · 05/12/2011 07:52

JWs don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas (as it is Christ's birthday). They do have special gift days through the year and have huge wedding anniversary celebrations.
I wouldn't knowingly send a JW a Christmas card out of respect for their beliefs. Our next door neighbours are JW and we are evangelical Christians, they are lovely people and very good neighbours - we just agree to differ when it comes to faith.

Clawdy · 05/12/2011 09:31

My cousin became a JW years ago. I continued sending her Christmas cards as a way of keeping in touch,but she confided in my mum that it upset her to receive them as she had to bin them. JW children at my school never give or take home Christmas cards,and are not allowed to take part in any craft activity involving the Nativity,Santa,crackers,etc. They are able to make things like snowmen or winter scenes. Birthdays are not celebrated,but one of the families brings sweets back from holidays for the rest of their class,to make up for not doing so on birthdays.

aldiwhore · 05/12/2011 09:36

It may sound a bit too obvious, but if its a dilemma could you not ask the child's mum/dad?

I send cards to everyone, unless they ask me not to (never happened). I also receive cards from non-Christians on their celebrations (if cards are sent)... being agnostic, it doesn't upset me. If my actions caused upset I'd put a note next to their address in the book.

Offence is a funny thing really isn't it? If in doubt, ask. Some people will look at you like you're mad (my Muslim friend did and turned it on me, 'do you want to send me a card?' - well yes I did, its my way of saying hi and sending love at a certain time of year, she accepted that completely) others will be grateful you asked because they'd rather not be involved in a traditon that goes against their beliefs. But you won't know unless you ask.

NorfolkNCarolSingers · 05/12/2011 09:41

Another thing to consider is that she might not be there for the end of term. JW families in our school take them out for the final week do as to avoid the children not being involved in Christmas activities

orangeLFDThead · 05/12/2011 09:47

You sound very thoughtful. Most Jw are not offended by christmas cards and apreciate the thought. As already said a happy holiday card is probably better.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 05/12/2011 09:49

Yep, I would just get a seasons greetings card. One of my best friends is a JW - she wouldnt be offended to get a card but as someone else said, it would end up in the recycling bin.

They also have present day just so their kids dont feel they miss out!

startail · 05/12/2011 10:13

I don't know what you do. Having once seen a 8 year old JW child in tears because she wasn't allowed to be part of birthdays or Christmas in her class I just don't know.
I was on works experience, the school had a group of JW who did their own assembly's etc and tried to accommodate them by not calling Christmas, Christmas.
I just felt unbelievably sorry for her.
I'm an atheist and it makes me cry remembering the lost look on her face.
I just wanted to give her a huge birthday cake and tell her parents to fuck the fuck off.
Sorry I knew lots of Muslims and Hindus at university who had fits of giggles at our student guild trying not to call Christmas Christmas. They had no problem with it at all.
I'm going to my Jewish BFs DSs naming next week and I know he will be snowed under with Hannaka and Xmas gifts.

Clawdy · 05/12/2011 10:35

The JW children at our school are not allowed into assemblies or hymn practice. They sit in the little library area off the hall,supervised,looking at books. Last week,during the practice,the children in the hall were singing a loud,rousing version of one carol,and the little boy in the group said"Oh,I love this one!" and sang happily along with the song.By the end,all the group were joining in. Not sure what their parents would have said....

funkybuddah · 05/12/2011 10:35

I wouldnt send one.

The boy who doesnt know when his birthday is?? thats just odd, he will need to know for jobs etc .

I work with 2 jw's and they told me they dont celebrate new year either (he's preparing to become an elder)

coccyx · 05/12/2011 10:37

Why not a New year card

lisad123 · 05/12/2011 11:09

ys i do know when my birthday is, and knew it as a child as does dd1 who is 8 years old.
As for present day, we personally choose our wedding anniversary but loads just choose an important date for them. My friends buy the girls pressies, we buy presents for each other and the kids.

Funny enough, i often find myself coming out of shops hmming xmas songs too

soandsosmummy · 05/12/2011 11:15

I think I'd give her one. I don't think its offensive. Its about saying this is a special time of year for me and I want to share it with you. What's offensive about that?

DD is not Sikh but is delighted to receive Diwali cards and presents from people in her class. she's not Muslim either but was delighted with the cards and little food gifts she got at Eid. She'll be sending all her friends a christmas card regardless of their faith because she wants to share christmas

Flip

1 2