To be upset that my husband says he doesn't remember anything about our wedding day

[madamehooch]

Chatting with DH as you do over the washing up when I asked him what he remembered about our wedding day. Apparently, nothing apart from the hotel in which the reception was held! Confess to getting a bit teary upon which he retorted that he couldn't be expected to give a blow by blow account of something that happened 20 years ago. Whereupon I snapped back that I didn't expect a scene by scene playback but that I did expect him to recall moments other than the location of the venue. I now feel uncharacteristically upset about the whole thing. He's a great husband but I can't understand why he doesn't get why I'm miffed with him about this.

Can you get the photos out and talk about them? Might bring back a few memories. I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose - men are shit, as I'm sure you already know!

I dont remember much of mine to be honest.. the day flew past in a total blur.

Same here

TBH, I really can't remember a huge amount about ours, doesn't mean I don't care so yes, UAB a little U

I've only been married 3 years but all I can really remember is my dad getting teary during speech and sounding like he worked for the north east tourist board

It went by so fast!

Is this the first time in twenty years you've talked about your wedding day ?

My ex couldn't remember a thing about ours the very next day - because he was so pissed at the reception that he couldn't remember

It's a man thing! My dh seems to have forgotten lots of key moments to do with our dd and ds's childhoods.

We had a conversation with MIL last week and we were talking about her mother. Dh said he could barely remember his GM - though MIL went on to say that they saw her weekly. I thought that maybe dh was quite young when she died but looking through the family tree I saw that he was 13! I was like My GM died when I was 16 but I could write pages of memories of her from when I was little.

As long as it's not because he was pissed, you can't really be cross with him!

My wedding wasn't even three years ago but I have to say I can only remember little bits. I didn't drink much at all, and I had a brilliant time and was very happy, but I think it all is just a bit of a blur without maybe the photos out to jog my memory. I wouldn't be too upset with him really

My wedding wasn't even three years ago but I have to say I can only remember little bits. I didn't drink much at all, and I had a brilliant time and was very happy, but I think it all is just a bit of a blur without maybe the photos out to jog my memory. I wouldn't be too upset with him really

My DH claims to not remember a thing about the last 15 years
(the time we have been together).

I wish I could say the same.

:o

Meh. My dh remembers nothing about anything - not weddings, births, special moments. He is fab so who cares?

If that is all you have to get teary eyed about after 20 years, I reckon you're on to a good thing

troisgarcons - totally agree that I do have a very good thing, especially as he's just made me melting chocolate fondant pudding!

Also agree with everyone else who says that their wedding day went by in a blur. Same for me, although, in the same way as a film trailer, there are moments which I will never forget. I just assumed it would be the same for him.

Very pleased actually to hear that some of you think IABU. I thought most of you would have DH's who would have recalled every last detail of their wedding day. You have actually cheered me up no end!

at "man thing".

I can't remember a whole lot about my wedding day at all, DH can remember loads.

You wedding day is completely irrelevant to the rest of your life, your marriage is what's important, not one day at the start of it and certainly not a who can remember the most detail competition.

I've always thought we got married at 11am for the past 25+ years, it wasn't until DH unearthed an old box of cards and stuff that I saw a wedding invitation, it was actually 3pm.

It's a bit of a shock when you have some memories clear in your mind and your partner doesn't. It's not wrong that he's forgotten and I'm sure he didn't mean to- the memory is an odd thing! You've just had a surprise because you thought it was something you'd both remember and you've discovered that this is not the case. I had a similar incident once with my partner about our first date and night together. Not as important as a wedding but I still felt hurt that what was there for me wasn't for him. But it blew over. It'll be okay :)

malificence - totally agree that the marriage is most important. Luckily I have had a wonderful marriage and I know my husband loves me. I can also categorically state that I did not expect him to win a 'who can remember the most detail competition'. I just thought that there would be one moment which would stay with him, aside from how being able to give directions to how to get to the reception:)

Thanks ISayHolmes. You've summed up exactly how I feel.

Anyway, feeling better now. Not going to pursue this any more with him, as long as he remembers our anniversary that is ......... :)

There was no video and the photo's were black and white back in 1975.However Mr Maras and me remember the whole shebang.However I do know some people have a mental block including our DD1 only 2 years ago.At least she has the 'evidence' to look at and talk to her DH. about.Go on get the photo's out.