...to expect free schools and academies to equally promote all relationships not just marriage?

[Snapespeare]

link to telegraph article

As a single parent, trying to bring up my three brilliant DCs to be respectful of others choices, I would quite like the government to be respectful of their home circumstances and not stress that the only form of valid relationship is one legitimised by a certificate.

AIBU?

"Marriage" is not a goal in itself, IMO, in much the same way as "a career" is not a goal in itself. What is important is to bring children up in a home which materially supports their well-being and in which each individual is valued, supported and given a voice by all the others. How people go about that is their own business.

YANBU.

YANBU.

I think the focus on 'stable' respectful relationships in general is more important than focusing on marriage specifically.

When so many children grow up in 'unconventional' families, I think it's unfair and damaging to them to devalue their experiences.

YANBU. I am also a single mum. I don't trust these free schools 100% as they are a Tory initiative. I'm now expecting a shed load of comments from smug marrieds telling you that marriage should be promoted. HAPPY marriage should be promoted; relationship at any cost should not.
Singletons should be seen as strong and independadnt rather than sad and desperate. There is a myth in our society that if your a single women your a nobody. As if we can't stand on our own two feet.
IME education should be as unbiased as possible. That is one reason I am so pro comprehesive education; it embraces students from all backgrounds. Shame about the large classes but the philosophy is good.

sorry i don't like the term smug marrieds; i was being a bit crass.

YANBU. Not at all.

YANBU at all: I do not have a couple-relationship with DS dad and our family is happy and stable - DS sees his dad at least twice a week and we even have the odd family outing. I will not stand for anyone telling DS that our family is inferior when it isn't - I know married couples with far more dysfunctional households.

and i hazard a guess that where it's initially free schools and academies - it'll widen out to all other schools.

..My DCs joined a school which then converted to academy status, I've had no say in this at all. I'm absolutely furious at the suggestion that other families with 'unconventional' or no adult sexual/romantic relationships are in some ways less acceptable than those whose relationship is legitimised by the state - and by 'marriage' do we mean 'civil partnership'?

YANBU, though I do know a couple of women for whom marriage was indeed a goal (much like a career) and they don't look down on people who aren't bothered about marriage, but they simply don't comprehend that their own wish for a husband isn't shared by all women, everywhere, at all times.

I don't find it surprising that people talk in terms of 'marriage' even when there isn't an anti-gay, anti-single-parent, anti-whatever agenda.

The problem is that some sections of communitees think that a 'stable relationship' is sharing a chippy meal on the way home (if that).

However schools are never going to help to undo that attitude when adults around the child are living like that, so the teaching of marriage is the way to go, would be pointless.

The self respect and self esteem topics covered in PHSE do more.

People tend to want children to go to schools that reflect their own views, by and large, that will also be their social mix.

In my experience the people who get all antsy about (eg a faith school teaching faith) are those who are so desperate to get their children into it because are hooked by the academic success - then do nothing but whinge on about the school rules, moral codes, discipline and the odd bit of God bothering that goes on. Sometimes I think parents are terminally thick quite deluded if they don't think a faith school teaches faith!

Stable homelife is the key - that should hopefully include a stable relationship. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesnt. Provided the needs of the child comes first and the child doesnt feed inadequate or disadvantaged then all is well in my world.

I'm sure we can all pick out some dysfuntional married couples - as we can pick out dysfuntional LPs, co-habiting couples etc etc.

I see nothing wrong with promoting marriage and stability. It's quite simple though, if you don't like the school ethos - choose another one.

My DS is at an academy. It became an academy (after he started there) because it could get more funding that way.

I see no reason at all why the relationship teaching should be different in academies than other types of school, or why marriage should be given priority over single parenting or child rearing by an extended family.

All schools have to be academies by 1st Sept (or they do in this borough) if they don't voluntarily go, they will be foced into it.

Surely the whole point of academies and free schools was that it free them from local government interference and control? What is the point of that if they are now going to be subject to additional levels of central government interference and control?

There is nothing that all academies have in common that would require them to give different relationship advice or have a group ethos that was different to other sorts of schools. Academies are a disparate group.

Surely the whole point of academies and free schools was that it free them from local government interference and control?

The point of the 3rd generation academies is to facilitate the cloure of the LA, thus saving the council tax payer oodles of money by strimming down council costs. EG HR has gone, therefore the academy must have its own HR people/person.

The only thing that is staying from our LA is a very small admissions team.

Our academies still pay money to the LA for various services.

Ours don't! There are only 3 secondaries left out of 14 plus 4 'special schools' - and even they have merged to create one super-sized special school which facilitates the hospital school and the PRU.

There are some big academies out there - Harris, Haberdashers, Academies Trust, TKAT etc ..... all sitting there like sharks snatching up schools

I don't have a problem with marriage being promoted as the ideal, and I was brought up by a single parent, have been a single parent, and now my dc have a step dad.

IMO, having two loving parents who live together and respect eachother, and are preferably married, is the best way to bring up children. That doesn't mean that i think that other family set ups can't be everything they need to be to create well adjusted and happy children. Nor do I think that marriage prevents there being problems present that aren't good for children.

But I do think that tomorrows adults should be trying to create the ideal family circumstances for their children, because the alternative is that they think that being in a loving and committed relationship is not that important before having children, and problems will arise from that.

Being a single parent is not ideal for the children. Look at the numbers of people on her that have to worry about their ex's having contact, chasing maintenence money, have step children that come to stay without the right clothes. If the people that chose to bring these children into the world had done everything possible to ensure that they did not have children until their personal circumstances were right, then a lot of unhappiness could have been avoided. I include myself in that.

I think my children have done fine with me and their Dad not being together, but I think I would be kidding myself if I were to say that they wouldn't have preffered to have us together.

All schools have to be academies by 1st Sept (or they do in this borough) if they don't voluntarily go, they will be foced into it.

Er I don't think so! Which borough are you in trois?
I have worked in the same school for the past 13 years, am on senior management and we are certainly not becoming an academy at any point in the near future

Bexley. Or thats the line the twat Head Teacher @ Hurstmere was spouting on open day. Mind you he was telling so many outrageous liesuntruths about funding it was difficult not to put your hand up and correct him.

Schools are under enormous pressure to convert to Academy status. I heard via twitter this morning ( @Save_Downhills )that 2 Primaries in Haringey have been told they have 6 weeks to make plans to convert to academies, or their governing bodies will be disbanded and replaced. The 2011 Academies Act gives Gove greater powers to force schools to become Academies including the power to bypass the Governing Bodies and make a contract with a third party (sponsor) davidwolfe.org.uk/wordpress/archives/1064 The state education system is being dismantled and privatised right under our noses on a school by school basis. Parents must wake up to this handsoffourschool.wordpress.com/2011/11/19/wake-up-britain-to-what-is-happening-to-our-schools/