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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let my baby sleep too much?

24 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 03/12/2011 11:35

Not really and AIBU but get a better response on here.

Struggling to find my feet still and baby is nearly 3 months old.

Baby sleeps from 8pm until around midnight when fussing starts - dummy fallen out of mouth. Continue to replace dummy on and off until I breastfeed at anytime between 1.30 - 6am depending on when DC wants milk!

Baby is awake after feed (kicking around like I've fed red bull!) but then goes off again.

I breastfeed again at around 7/8/9am (dependent on earlier feed) and have another red bull hour until DC goes off to sleep - I then have time for a shower, tidy up etc

Baby will sleep until around 11.30am and I formula feed at 12-12.30.

Baby then cat naps throughout the day and is a very happy baby, but has a distressing breastfeed at 4pm and then winges on and off until bathtime at 7pm.

Formula again at 7.15/30pm - guzzles bottle after distressing breastfeed earlier on

Am I letting DC sleep too much up to the hour of 11.30am? And would waking DC up mean a better nights sleep? Or should I just count my lucky stars in the first half of the day?

I know my nights sound great with just one feed - but I'm awake on and off replacing the dummy from midnight until I feed - so knackered!

Thanks

OP posts:

valiumredhead · 03/12/2011 12:15

Why are you mix feeding - NOT FF bashing as I FF myself, just interested and wonder if the distressing feed could be because FF is different from breast and 'heavier'?

Tbh life IS tiring with a 3 month, bloody exhausting!

Can you dream feed instead of replacing dummy when you go to bed?

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 03/12/2011 12:41

I dis wonder if instead of constantly replacing the dummy you try and feed her. I know with ds2 especially that the constant spitting out of the dummy meant that he was looking for food rather than the dummy so a quick feed usually meant for a better night dull stop at that stage.

babyhammock · 03/12/2011 12:45

Sounds like you want her to have breastmilk but she prefers a bottle?
Have you considered exclusively expressing? I did that with DS and there's a ton of things and tips that make it easier than you might think x

Flisspaps · 03/12/2011 12:52

I don't think you can let a baby sleep too much.

Generally they sleep when they're tired, and wake up either when they want something or have had enough sleep.

No advice on the feeding though :(

BertieBotts · 03/12/2011 12:55

Do you co-sleep? If not, and you would consider this, it would most likely serve a dual purpose of letting you get more sleep and ensuring that she has more feeds at night, probably meaning she'll be more settled for feeds in the day.

Nothing wrong with letting them sleep if they'll sleep!! But that dummy thing sounds exhausting for you.

Firawla · 03/12/2011 12:58

I would let her sleep as much as she wants, but the dummy thing sounds like a lot of work so if dummy isn't making life easier for you would it be easier to just get rid of it? they are great if they do help but it sounds like its not really helping? or will she not take a feed at all during that dummy replacing time?

WhiteTrash · 03/12/2011 13:07

If it was me, Id let her sleep as much as she wanted. Drop the FF, definitely get rid of the dummy, increase the night feeds. And also on off fussinesz from 4-7pm is absolutely normal. My eldest did it until he was 2-3years! My now 6 month old does the same and has dome since he was a month old.

WhiteTrash · 03/12/2011 13:08

GetOffTheCat · 03/12/2011 13:18

5 feeds a day doesn't sound very much for a 3 month old, whether FF or BF. I agree about a dream feed rather than the dummy battle and maybe squeezing another feed in daytime & nighttime if needed. My DD is 15weeks and averages 7-9 feeds a day. She is BF and has a top-up bottle of expressed milk or (formula if I've not had time to pump) at 7pm. I expressed exclusively for DS for 8 months - it's not that awful and has the advantage of you knowing exactly how much they're taking. Good luck!

coraltoes · 03/12/2011 13:18

Ok, my main advice is at 1030pm or so go to baby's room, get her out of bed and dream feed her. Dc should then do a longer stretch til her next wake up. Hopefully around 3 or 4, feed then, and then only again in the morning. Try it for a few nights to see if it makes for less restless sleep.

coraltoes · 03/12/2011 13:20

Also don't drop the ff if it works for you and dc. No harm at all in mixed feeding so don't feel pressurised into dropping it. I'd also not increase night feeds but slot an extra day one in if needed and do a dream feed.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 03/12/2011 13:34

I agree that it doesnt sound like enough feeds, I only know about BF though as thats what I did with DS, but he was feeding every three hours or more at 3m. It seems (from the fussing with the dummy) like you are actively trying to spread her feeds out, which could be upsetting her?

AngryBadger · 03/12/2011 15:56

We've always done a dream feed at between 10-11.30pm - it depended on how late my DH could stay up he usually did that last feed so I could sleep for a longer stretch.

We would feed in the dark with no fuss or nappy change which meant that baby hardly woke for that bottle.

If your baby sleeps better during the night because she's not waking so much for the dummy (which could be a sign of starting to get hungry) then the baby might cut back on the morning sleep naturally as he/she won't need it so much.

Good luck!

BartletForAmerica · 03/12/2011 18:03

Trying to think how many BFs DS would have had at the same stage

7am
10am
(sometimes he needed a top-up before his lunchtime nap)
2pm after nap
4-5pm
7pm
10pm (dream feed)
then one feed at some point during the night most nights.

Yes, I think it was much more than you are doing. That's where I'd start looking at things.

MrsRhettButler · 03/12/2011 18:09

I am mixed feeding and dd is 12 weeks so same age, she sleeps a lot throughout the day and I let her sleep whenever she likes unless it is too close to bedtime at 8pm, is it not impossible to keep a 3 month old awake anyway?

fluffy123 · 03/12/2011 18:23

I think I would try giving formula around 11pm and see how you go with that. My 3 ds were all on 5 feeds by 3 months so I don't think the amount of feeds is a problem.

MrsRhettButler · 03/12/2011 18:24

5 feeds is correct for ff btw, not sure about mixed feeds

Rikalaily · 03/12/2011 18:48

Leave a baby to sleep as much as they want. 5 feeds is not enough if mixed feeding or exclusively bfing, breastmilk is digested very quickly so they get hungry sooner. Baby is spitting the dummy out because they are hungry, even if ffed, if fed at 8 most babies would be hungry around 1-2am'ish, because you are mixed feeding baby needs a couple more feeds in there, especially if you want to keep your supply up. If you don't increase breastfeeds your milk level will stay the same or drop and baby needs more as it grows, you make milk on demand, but the demand isn't there atm to make more milk because you are only bfing 3 times a day. At three months mine were all feeding at least 10-12 times in 24 hours, usually more. The baby is getting frustrated at the breast at 4pm because the previous feed is from a bottle which gives the milk faster than a breast, they don't like waiting for the milk to let down and then afterwards they don't feel as full as they were when they had the heavier formula. This is why I don't usually mixed feed, it causes so much faff and you can end up with a frustrated baby.

You need to feed your baby more, I would get another night feed in there and I would also offer the breast before all formula feeds to keep your supply up. When you have a baby sleep goes out of the window no matter how you feed, babies who sleep through the night are more unusual that babies that wake, most wake at least a few times a night until they are at least 6 months.

tralalala · 03/12/2011 18:52

we got rid of the dummy for ds2 and 3 for this reason...couple of days of hell, (lots of cuddles though) adn 2they both started sleeping through soon after.

MrsRhettButler · 03/12/2011 18:55

Must admit dd has lots of bf during the day but I only do one ff or sometimes 2 depending on our day. Night time is the worst time to ff as that's when your body makes most milk or something to do with supply. Sorry not very helpful

onemoreminute · 03/12/2011 19:44

A baby can not sleep to much. I would try feeding when they start fussing at 12. If they are going to bed at 8 its been 4 hours and thats normal for a baby of this age.

birdofthenorth · 03/12/2011 20:24

Enjoy the sleep! Feed when needed though, so I'd probably swap the dummy for boob or bottle before you go to sleep yourself. You are lucky. DD woke at least every two hours at 3 months!

33goingon64 · 03/12/2011 20:38

Ditch the dummy! If you can avoid all that waking and replacing, you're down to one waking per night (which DS still does at 9 mo and is frankly pretty good) and a sleeping baby when you have things to do in the day.

naturalbaby · 03/12/2011 21:16

why don't you just feed when the fussing starts at night? if i tried to get them back to sleep without a feed then the longer i waited/the longer baby was fussing and awake then the longer they took to settle back to sleep. as much as i hated several night feeds (and mine went on for months and months and months) if i just fed them at the first squeak then they were only 1/2 awake and went straight back to sleep.

going against the grain, i believe if you let them sleep too much in the day then they will be more unsettled at night.

if baby is overhungry then bfeeds can be really difficult. could that be the problem at 4pm?

having been there and tried pretty much everything and every approach from total baby led to strict routine, the later afternoon/early evening is a nightmare!

at that age my babies were doing roughly:
7am feed, 9-10 sleep, 10am feed, 12-2:30 sleep, 2:30 feed, 4:30-5 sleep, 5pm short feed if baby can't wait till after bath, 6:30 feed, 7pm bed, 10:30 dream feed. you don't have to follow it to the minute but having tried it and had a very settled 3rd baby i can really, really recommend it.

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