Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Am I being selfish to give up all but one breastfeed?

13 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 03/12/2011 09:52

My baby is nearly 3 months old. Ebf for 6 weeks and DC now has two formula bottles a day - one at night for DH to feed (introduced at 6 weeks) and one in the day as I can't feed DC enough (introduced at 11 weeks).

The night feed is fine-ish, with minimal screaming but the daytime feeds are becoming unbearable. DC screams and stiffens and it takes around an hour to get DC to take 10 minutes either side.

I am worn out, and whilst DC is a happy baby most of the day, feeding times just seem so distressing for DC.

I've been told (from many pro bfeeders) that by this age adding formula is ok as I've done so well in giving breast milk for the first 3 months.

I'd like to keep the night breastfeed but am thinking of ff the rest of the time.

Am I being selfish or does this sound ok?

OP posts:

fatlazymummy · 03/12/2011 09:56

It's ok if you think it's ok. It's your baby and you don't need to ask for anyone's permission or approval on how to feed it.

MotherPanda · 03/12/2011 09:57

Personally, I would want to know why dc was screaming at the breast. What's different about the night feed? is it the position? is your babys neck ok - not too stiff on one side?

But if you want to give up - then of course you are not being selfish. by keeping the night feed you will still be giving your baby immunities etc

EricNorthmansMistress · 03/12/2011 10:01

It's likely to spell the end of bf. he's probably screaming because he's not able to get the milk fast enough, hence why you give bottles, which compounds the problem. My DS did the same, and just stopped bothering to feed from the breast at around 4 months. Sometimes, if you have supply issues and can't easily fix them, I think giving in is the sensible option. Keep bf as long as you can but be aware that dropping to one feed is likely to be no feeds before long.

Original poster

Newmummytobe79 · 03/12/2011 10:11

Thanks for your replies.

I think the speed of milk is the issue. Night feed goes well as I feel full and I've had a good evening meal and a bit of sleep - I guess happy mum = happy baby.

I've beat myself up about giving bottles but don't want to see my baby hungry.

I do feel 'empty' in the day and I think this is why DC screams.

I think I'll feel relieved if I do switch to ff for the day feeds ... but the guilt is still there hense why I can't give up totally yet!

I'm guessing the issue lies with my feelings and I'm asking if I should just get on with it for the sake of my baby having enough feeds.

OP posts:

MotherPanda · 03/12/2011 10:21

the more you breast feed - the more mik you will make, so you could improve your supply if you wanted to - feeding more, expressing between feeds to build up supply etc

or you can let your supply drop - by switching to mostly bottles.

it's entirely up to you - but I think you do have a choice.

Booboostoo · 03/12/2011 10:22

DD went through a phase where she was happier bfing lying down rather than the craddle or dugby holds that had been popular previously. Is it worth trying the change in position?

At the end of the day if bf doesn't work for you and your baby switch! You've done great bfing for so long, but if no one is happy then it can't be a good thing to continue.

NinkyNonker · 03/12/2011 10:55

Maybe give yourself say a week, or a fortnight where you try feeding A LOT, in different positions etc to try building your supply again, cutting back on formula after a few days and see what happens? By all means don't feel guilty as you shouldn't, but if you want to bf perhaps give it one last all out shot? Cause once you cut back and back your supply will just keep dropping, and probably fairly rapidly. Which is fine if you're happy, but if it matters perhaps one bug push?

coraltoes · 03/12/2011 14:17

It is likely that once you cut all daytime feeds, your nighttime supply will slowly dwindle too. I found that when moving to bottles.

MissPentChristmasBudget · 03/12/2011 14:22

You could try expressing during the day to keep your supply up, whether you drop to just BFing at night or not. I agre with coraltoes that your supply might drop if you're only feeding once a day.

It's entirely your decision though. BF or FF, as long as the baby is being fed and is happy and healthy (and you're happy and healthy too!), that's the main thing.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 03/12/2011 14:23

I answered on the other thread, I'm concerned you are trying to drop too many feeds (whether FF of BF btw) and this is what is upsetting your baby.

valiumredhead · 03/12/2011 14:29

I answered on your other thread.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 03/12/2011 14:30

Sorry, "concerned" makes me sound very judgy, I just meant I think that is the problem :)

startail · 03/12/2011 14:36

I gave up when DD1 was 5 months old, she threw bigger tantrums about being BF than she ever did as a toddler
Don't beat your self up about it some DCs just much prefer bottles.
(DD2 threw an equal tantrum at the sight of a bottle and BF for years).
You can't win small babies are just as much individuals as adults and twice as stubborn.

Flip