To go out all day and leave H to deal with the kids and the chores?

[TheOriginalFAB]

H left the bed for 2-3 hours in the night becauase of my snoring. I am full of cold and have asthma and don't snore on purpose. He came back to bed and I told him this morning if it was any consolation I didn't sleep a wink when he was away from the bed. Neither did he. He has ignored me when I went in the room just now.

I offer to sleep elsewhere.
He has ear plugs.
I have had a shitty week and am beyond knackered and can not be bothered with him being in a strop.

So, AIBU to think about doing this?

He sounds like a proper sulkyknickers. IMO, you should have just gone if you've got a spare bed, or made him go.
This won't solve how you sleep if he's not there though.
Can you take it in turns to have a little kip later on. One looks after the DC the other goes and knocks some zeds out?

I can't see why this wuld be seen as U? Presumabley he wouldn't see it as unreasonable to leave you with the children all day, so why would it be unreasonable to leave him?

To be fair he rarely goes out leaving me with the kids unless it is to work.

He went to sleep on the sofa but didn't sleep.

I am just fed up of being made to feel like crap when I can't help snoring and if I wasn't so run down I wouldn't have a cold.

It is stupid and annoying I can't sleep if he isn't there.

YANBU

Here's your bags off you go before the shops get too busy!!

Your both knackered, but he'll sulk, you'll get on with it as mums always do.

You can both swap & have a nap each later.

Just don't expect many chores to get done today by either of you, they'll wait.

Mad busy day too but he can apologise to me as I am fed up with him.

I was thinking of going off somewhere to read my book .

so you keep him up all night so to make it up to him you are going to leave him at home with kids and chores.

you sound like a nice person

There is always one, isn't there .

Actually, I am a lovely person.

All irrelevant now as we have talked and all is fine and we will get on with our day together.

You cant help snoring, (I know I do it with or without a cold). It isnt like you kicked him out of bed.

I had the cold that is doing the rounds last week, and because my husband has to be up at 5am, and I was coughing like a hybrid of a donkey and a seal, I slept in the spare room a couple of nights so that I didnt disturb him.

Its a bit mardy of your husband to be sulking, and not your fault that he couldnt get to sleep on the sofa.

What do you mean there is always one.

You kept him up so he would be just as groggy as you. So to say you want to dump everything on him does not make you a nice person.

Not quite sure why everyone is agreeing with you tbh

highly selfish attitude and you know full well if it was the other way round everyone would tell the op to get over their illness, move rooms if you are disturbing the other one and they would be up in arms at the thought of dumping their responsibilities while they saunter off for the day.

YABU, you appear to be in annoyed because he left you to try and sleep somewhere else, as described he didn't make any complaint about it until you started about "consolation".

I'm not exactly sure what you expect from DH after he got a poor nights sleep, or indeed what you feel is reasonable after yours. But reality is neither of you are well rested and up for the world today so you would BU to do anything but to share the chores and childcare as usual.

FFS, it was a lighthearted AIBU. I would no more leave him for the day than I would run naked down the street. I was feeling upset and knackered this morning and wanted to rant rather than argue with him.

I didn't say anything to him about "consolation."

Agree with Fred and george. Sounds like you've Both had a crap nights sleep, so it seems fairest to share the childcare and chores. Why should one of you have to do it all to give the other a day 'off'? Alternatively, if you really think you deserve a day 'off', its only reasonable for you to do all the childcare and chores tomorrow to give him a day 'off' - regardless of whether you get a decent nights sleep tonight! Fairs fair!

If you were talking about your partner snoring you would be told you are not benig unreasonable. Seriously if you snore sort it out so that your partner gets a good nights sleep. It is selfish to know you snore and do nothing about it when it effects others.

Nothing was said to DH about abandoning him. I was never going to do so.
We have 3 children who all need taking places today and we are both doing the delivering. We don't do days off and your chores as such. We both just muck in and do what needs doing and take a break when possible.

FC - you are assuming I am not doing anything about the snoring when actually I am doing everything I can. Even though some people think I am over reacting.

Anyway. DH is fine and that is all that matters.

Plus my cat might not last until Christmas (just been to the vet) so really don't want an argumentative thread.

Bottom line - I was never going to leave DH and have not had a strop with him about the sleep neither of us got.