to implement this rule after baby comes home

[Iwishthestorkwouldbringmybaby]

After last baby was born our house became a bit of a chaotic visitor attraction. People coming round, settling themselves in for the afternoon, offering to 'help' when you just wanted to say, you could help most by leaving now, making endless cups of tea and coffee for themselves. I found it quite stressful.

Would it be OTT to say this time that we are having a 2 visitors at a time max rule, and 2 hours maximum visiting time? How can I do this without causing offence?

don't be surprised if no-one is quick to visit
novelty had worn off by 2nd baby
and don't get me started on the 3rd (some people still haven't seen her and she will be 2 in the new year [tgrin])

Don't worry about causing offense. Imposing your self on a family with a newborn is just plain selfish, and i wouln't worry about making people see that. You will be saving a lot of friends and relatives a lot of agro in the future! 2 hours is an insane amount of time. Anyone inviting themselvse into my house for that lenght of time when I have newborns would get VERy short shrift.

Blimey, are you going to have one of those ticket things like at the supermarket? And a waiting room with a tannoy?

Don't be precious, just go with the flow. Be strong about saying if you are tired, ask for help etc. But don't be rigid and presume people will be nuisances, it is sad when they are just excited for you, having people in your life is great and rules like that make them seem like an inconvenience.

I know what you're saying NN, but a lot of people did make a real nuisance of themselves last time to the point where I was left with a messy house full of dishes, in tears cause I'd felt too embarassed to sit on a hot water bottle in front of guests because of my v painful stitches and was just desperate for them to go. Got some fairly thick skinned relatives! I know I'm lucky to have lots of people who want to visit though.

I won't use a tannoy! But wondered how best to get the message across to people.

Just v hard when you're trying to establish breastfeeding and some semblance of order in a noisy messy house full of visitors, some of whom have just brought along Auntie X because she's just dying to see the baby. Not great when you're five days after giving birth and v uncomfortable!

Practice saying,

"thanks for coming, lovely to see you, I'm very tired now - still recovering from the birth (add as much detail here as you want to drive the message home), I'm off upstairs with baby for a lie down, ta ra"

Who could possibly object to that?

Perhaps start now, jokingly making comments about how anyone through the door best have a lasagne in hand and know where the kettle is etc? Or how hard you found it last time establishing bf last time with an audience or something? I am with you on the stitches (hot water bottle is a v good idea), I discovered after about a week that one sofa was comfier than the other, despite the first one having been better during pregnancy...odd. anyway, if anyone sat on that sofa I got irrationally angry, and didn't really want to explain why it was so much comfier!

Personally I quite like the tannoy idea..."your turn to make the tea Aunty Sue, yes, you trying to hide behind the stuffed toy..."

Did they phone before they arrived or did they just turn up?

Baby three and I had actual exhaustion, nearly hospitalised, and got the MW to tell people to go home!!

I think you have to ask people to ring before they drop in, lie and say baby is very unsettled and needs lots of sleep. do whatever you have to to make people considerate. Another idea is not to tell anyone until you're a few days in.

If someone mentions or asks you, about coming to visit, could you tell them you are not receiving visitors for a few weeks yet? Or invite them to a "sip'n'see", scheduled for a time when you feel up to it?

Next time I'm saying no visitors at all for the first 2 weeks! YANBU at all. DP has a large, close extended family who are all absolutely lovely but they drove me nuts for the first month - there were 10 people in my house when I got home from hospital! I didn't know how to say no - next time I will climb into bed with my baby and hang a big fuck off sign on the door :)

Put a message on the answerphone, & one on the door telling folk you'd love to see them in a week or so but that you'd all appreciate the visits after you've got baby into a routine.

When/if they do come don't provide drinks/food & make sure you point them to the kettle only if you need a cuppa.

Tell them as they arrive that you'll be disappearing in half an hour for a nap & do that if they haven't taken the hint!

I think if you formalise this rule then you will risk being seen as a bit precious and upsetting people. However there is nothing wrong with telling people who visit to leave when your feeling tired. You don't have to be rude about it, just say "it's been really lovely to see to you but i'm me and baby need to have a nap now because we're still recovering from the birth".

ii had people call before (thankfully) and as i had the most disasterous birth with ds2 i wsn't able for visitors. Told people as such

i haven't heard from one, who i told i was too ill to manage a visitor one week after having him, for over five years! (must admit i don't see it was a bad thing)

I can't believe how rude some people are. I would never impose myself on a new mum who has just had a baby. I would stay a hour max or if the mum needed to rest make myself scarce.