Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be ungrateful for SIL's Christmas presents to my DC?

18 replies

meredeux · 02/12/2011 17:45

SIL has sent my DC mega-loads of sweets for Christmas. My DC don't like sweets - unusual, but true. her DC love sweets (and regularly get their teeth filled).
So I've now got bucket loads of sweets hidden in a cupboard and I've no idea what to do with them because I know my Dc won't eat them (they've still got their trick or treat stuff untouched).

OP posts:
OTTMummA · 02/12/2011 17:46

Re wrap and send them back as easter presents Grin

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 02/12/2011 17:47

Donate them to the local women's shelter or somewhere similar for Christmas.

OTTMummA · 02/12/2011 17:47

And maybe send her a fruit basket

MabelLucyAttwell · 02/12/2011 17:48

Donate them to the Salvation Army.

AgentZigzag · 02/12/2011 17:49

I've been privately ungrateful about presents too Grin

I agree about donating them, maybe give them to the DC to take to school if you can't find anywhere else? Grin

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 02/12/2011 17:50

Buy her DCs carrot seeds and little gardening gloves and watering cans and so on Grin oh and toothbrushes Xmas Grin

Lilyloo · 02/12/2011 17:50

Does she know your dc don't eat sweets ?

sheeesh · 02/12/2011 17:52

YABU

You were given a present and from what you have said, she gave you something in genuinely good faith and based on her own experience that she thought your DCs would like.

Would you have complained it she had bought them nothing?

Original poster
meredeux · 02/12/2011 17:53

Donate them to the local women's shelter or somewhere similar for Christmas - thank you. Good idea.

I usually re-wrap unwanted presents and send them out as birthday presents when someone at school has a party, but you can't really give sweets these days, can you? Maybe one small packet is ok but not this - there is 5kg for each child. The postage alone cost a fortune.

I was a little irritated because I spoke to her husband (my brother) two weeks before and we agreed on books/ cuddly toys for our respective children. Then SIL sees a special offer and sends me all this (even though someone told her that my DC just don't like them).

OP posts:
Original poster
meredeux · 02/12/2011 17:54

lilyloo "Does she know your dc don't eat sweets ?" Yes, she does. (Or at least someone told her before she bought them but maybe she wasn't interested enough to listen)

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 02/12/2011 17:55

It's OK to complain about presents Sheeesh, you don't have to pretend you like them even when the person's not there.

lockets · 02/12/2011 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatstheetiquette · 02/12/2011 17:55

is your school having a christmas fair? our school are begging for sweets to be donated for it

Original poster
meredeux · 02/12/2011 18:04

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom - i like your reciprocal present suggestion too! Would it start a war though?

I tried to engage SIL in an email conversation about it, but she just ignored my email, so I haven't really complained or anything.

She sent 5kg of sweets to my sister's children too. My sister is one of those mothers that you could easily guess would not allow sweets. So even if she made a mistake with me, there's no way she could have made a mistake with my sister.

OP posts:
lurkinginthebackground · 02/12/2011 18:05

Yes give them away. I am sure the majority of children would love it.
Btw is it usual for young children to have many "unwanted" gifts? or is it the parenets deciding that they are unwanted. Thinking about you saving and then rewrapping gifts, seems odd that children wouldn't genuinely play with everything they get even if they then discard it.

Original poster
meredeux · 02/12/2011 18:11

They've had several duplicate books and lego sets. Also SIL on the other side loves sending them craft-type things and they just don't like drawing/ painting etc (no matter how much I try to engage them in it). So, I give it all away as birthday presents rather than try to explain and exchange them.

OP posts:
OTTMummA · 02/12/2011 18:13

OP, your sil just doesn't care! she is obviously not a great person at buying presents, and also/or isn't bothered if you like what she gets your kids.
I suggest you let go of this feeling, because she won't change, and it will only bug you more as the years go on.

I have a sil like this, the first year she got dc a crappy wood puzzle that was all scratched up and had sharp bits all over it for a 1yr old!
can't even remember 2nd yr and last yr nothing!
TBH it hurt me a little at first because i always take great care and pleasure in finding the right present for everyone, and felt my dc was thought of with such little reguard.
But, last yr was the best really, she out did herself, not even a card, and i didn't have to prepare myself for an inappropriate present that i would have to of chucked away, and therefore would of been wasted.

I would personally for my own amusement, find the most hedious ornemant, preferably of a sea animal and present it to her perfectly gift wrapped and make enthusiatic sounds whilst she opened it infront of me and the whole family, that would be just for the email being ignored, thats just bad manners!

beachholiday · 02/12/2011 18:38

Churches in Ireland have started to collect unwanted Christmas presents from the 26th onwards and donate them to people living in hostels, refuges etc. Its amazing to see how much stuff is given!

Think its great to have the chance to donate after Christmas as well as before as I don't see any point in holding on to something that you can't or won't use, when someone else could clearly benefit.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page