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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit cheeky

37 replies

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 02/12/2011 17:37

So DS2 comes home with a letter yesterday saying he has the most merit marks in his from and the 3rd highest in the school (well done DS2) and he will be included on the merit trip (going to a panto). Letter says he will need a packed lunch and sweets and drinks will be allowed.
It is a reward for doing so well, all very lovely and he is quite proud of himself and excited to go on the trip, so far so good.....

It then says the cost of the trip is £15.00 Xmas Shock
Yep I have to pay for him to go on a outing that is to reward him for doing well!!!!!

AIBU to think that is a little bit cheeky, I mean to tell the children they are going and it is a reward then to hit the parents for money.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 02/12/2011 17:40

oooh yes that IS very cheeky. in fact, i am almost cross on your behalf

Original poster
KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 02/12/2011 17:45

Thank you.
I will pay it but I think it is a bit cheeky and maybe they could have told the parents first before telling the kids they were going

OP posts:
Oggy · 02/12/2011 18:02

They certainly shouldn't have told the children they were going, but how would you propose such a trip is funded?

MabelLucyAttwell · 02/12/2011 18:05

It is rather presumptuous but it's quite possible that £15 is peanuts compared with the real cost, isn't it?

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies · 02/12/2011 18:05

They should fund it through school fundraising activities, because it is really cheeky to give a prize and expect the winner (or his or her parents) to then pay for it.

Oggy · 02/12/2011 18:06

I expect the school fundraising activities are intended to be spent on things that will benefit all children, not just a very small selection.

lurkinginthebackground · 02/12/2011 18:08

I think they should have said there is a trip but it will only be available to those children with the highest merits. So YANBU it is a bit cheeky.

2cats2many · 02/12/2011 18:13

I think its cheeky too. I sometimes think that schools have no idea of how difficult it is for some parents to come up with extra money for these trips and other things.

My DD's school recently gave us one week's notice of having to come up with nearly £20 for a school trip, just before Xmas. And they told all the children that they were going before they gave the letter to parents. It was the one-week notice that annoyed me more than anything. Some parents would really struggle to come up with the money in such a short time.

thisisyesterday · 02/12/2011 18:16

if they cannot afford to pay for the prizes themselves then they shouldn't offer them IMO.
it isn't fair to reward children by making their parents pay for a treat! if you can't afford it then what happens? your kids gets the most merits but no treat?

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 02/12/2011 18:45

I would be tempted to "denounce" the school publicly in the local paper or somewhere equally visible - you know the sort of thing - picture of child looking glum and mum looking peeved and text making the school sound like a cross between Scrooge and Pol Pot for their treatment of their pupils....
If this was one of my DCs we wouldn't have the money. It just isn't there at that short a notice, especially at this time of year. I would be fuming, and moreso because it would be my DC that ended up disappointed after having their expectations built up. It's really bad form and thoughtless of whoever it was at the school that came up with the idea.

mrsjay · 02/12/2011 18:48

Oh i would be livid you have to pay the price of him being good and getting his merits id not pay it how cheeky and if its a paid trip then the whole class should get to go , id have a serious think about it and perhaps contact the school to complain ,

mrsjay · 02/12/2011 18:48

oh and i forgot yaaay for your son doing so well id be tempted to say i will take you out instead .

Figgydragon · 02/12/2011 18:57

Certainly think the school should've informed you he and the others were due to win and asked if you were willing to contribute. If you or any of the parents could not they could've come up with something else.

RedHelenB · 02/12/2011 18:58

DD had a trip to Alton towers & we had to pay £2o for getting over 30 merits. Can see your point though.

blackoutthexmaslights · 02/12/2011 19:06

that is cheeky!!!

Appuskidu · 02/12/2011 19:21

That's not on! You can't spring that on parents as a fait accompli.

I'd definitely have a word with the head as that's not really the right way to go about things.

stuffthenonsense · 02/12/2011 19:21

Wow, spectacularly cheeky. So now YOU pay for the trip, school gets the credit for taking him, and then maybe you treat him a little something on top of that because he has earned a reward. What happens if you just cannot run to that? Im afraid i would have to say something to school (but i was told i was 'awkward' by the cheeky school receptionist for not wanting my DD to go on an overpriced rubbishy trip)

GrownUpBelievesInSanta · 02/12/2011 19:22

Bit cheeky, but I'd pay it and beam with pride anyway, even if it meant no wine that week.

WorraLiberty · 02/12/2011 19:23

That's very cheeky

My DS2 won a castle making competition and the prize was a trip to the Tower of London.

It didn't cost a penny

Abra1d · 02/12/2011 19:24

'I would be tempted to "denounce" the school publicly in the local paper or somewhere equally visible - you know the sort of thing - picture of child looking glum and mum looking peeved and text making the school sound like a cross between Scrooge and Pol Pot for their treatment of their pupils....'

Or why not do something really over the top? Hmm

Don't people actually talk to schools first these days before going straight to the press?

Hardgoing · 02/12/2011 19:27

I think asking for 15 pounds to reward your own child is beyond cheeky (presumably for that price, you could have given him 15 pounds for him to spend on whatever he liked for being good!)

mamalovesmojitos · 02/12/2011 19:29

YANBU very cheeky! What happens if a parent cant afford it? I'd find the money somehow but goodness, talk about forcing your hand! Well done to your ds Smile

RomanChristingle · 02/12/2011 20:44

Well at least now you know to make sure he gets a few spellings wrong next term Grin

carabos · 02/12/2011 21:42

Cheeky, and wrong on so many levels. Xmas Hmm

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 02/12/2011 21:57

If the behaviour strategy of merit points and rewards doesn't benefit all the children, Oggy, why the blazes do you think they emark on it? Knowing what kind of effort and time these things take? Do you really think it benefits only the kids who get to see a panto? really?