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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you can't go without a cigarette for the length of a school trip, you should not volunteer as a parent helper?

105 replies

Greythorne · 02/12/2011 16:41

My DD went ice skating with her class this afternoon. They ask for parent helpers to get the kids togged out in their skating clothes, in ice skates and helmets. Everyone meets at the rink at 1.30 and they children get on a coach to go back to school at 3.15 so it's a total of one hour and forty five minutes.

AIBU in thinking if you cannot last that long without having a fag in full view of all the kids (twice, and that's in addition to the one she had oitside the rink out of view during the lesson) then you shouldn't volunteer.

OP posts:
giveitago · 02/12/2011 16:54

OP - I agree and I'm a smoker. If I couldn't do without (and I could, easily), I wouldn't volunteer.

Sevenfold · 02/12/2011 16:54

wow
how dreadful .......not

Original poster
Greythorne · 02/12/2011 16:55

festi
i think that's fine. Out of sight of the children is fine. But alongside the children as everyone walks back to the coach? I really object to that.

Those who say, what's the difference between a parent helper smoking and a random in the street? I do think there is a difference. Aren't the parent helpers held in incredible high esteem by the kids? They love holding hands with the grown up helpers and really see them as slightly less strict (than their teachers) and therefore more fun yet still authority figures.

OP posts:
SinicalSal · 02/12/2011 16:55

Why 'massively inconsiderate'? It's a bad example sure, but that's easily solved. There are worse examples out there - and i'm aware of how weak that is as an argument. On balance let the smoker help out or let the kids stay home for lck of supervision, if it comes down to that.

lynniep · 02/12/2011 16:56

TBH I think its fair enough. I'm not a smoker (any more) and I pretty much can't abide it (nor can I understand how I once woke up and reached for the fags!) BUT if its in an area that smoking is allowed, then so be it. At least they volunteered to help out. No I dont want my kids around smokers, but then again this is the big bad world and some people still do. If the school specifically wanted non-smokers they should have said so, but then they probably didnt want to be accused of smokerism...

WorraLiberty · 02/12/2011 16:56

Aren't the parent helpers held in incredible high esteem by the kids?

No of course not, why would they be?

They're just someone's Mum or Dad

Original poster
Greythorne · 02/12/2011 16:58

worra
that's not what I see, there's almost a riot to be near the parent helpers on the coach.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 02/12/2011 16:59

oh who cares

at least they're not wearing a dress, carrying a crucifix and trying to have at their bottoms.

giveitago · 02/12/2011 16:59

Lynnie - that's the voice of reason.

I know lots of kids who's parents do smoke and the kids are given names for it like 'naughties' etc. How odd - it's called smoking and it's not to be condoned. But please don't give it a stupid name. It is what it is.

WorraLiberty · 02/12/2011 17:00

Greythorne The only kids sitting near the parent helpers are normally the kids in that helper's group...and the group is chosen by the teacher.

That's how it works here anyway.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 02/12/2011 17:00

YANBU

LtEveDallas · 02/12/2011 17:00

What's worse, a smoking volunteer or no volunteer and a cancelled trip?

Meh, is it really an issue?

OldGreyWassailTest · 02/12/2011 17:01

I bet at least half of those children went home to see Dot Cotton smoking on Eastenders!

countlessbabychams · 02/12/2011 17:03

It seems bizarre to me that some seem to only want their kids to be in contact with vice-less people so as not to set them a bad example.

A bit of 'do as I say,not as I do' is not always bad.

NorfolkNCarolSingers · 02/12/2011 17:03

As a teacher I'd be looking like this Xmas Envy

Grin

But then again I manage to get through the whole school day without lighting up god knows how some days

2BoysTooLoud · 02/12/2011 17:11

Not the best example , however plenty of parents round here chat finishing their fags before going into the school grounds.

Everlong · 02/12/2011 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Greythorne · 02/12/2011 17:38

OldGreyWassailTest
Hardly! They are only in Reception! Not sure they watch Eastenders.

OP posts:
giveitago · 02/12/2011 17:41

Oh but grey - my ds in reception at the time did see a bit of east enders. And nowt happened to him.

Oooh ds gong to bed at 8pm - clearly I'm a shite parent.

SinicalSal · 02/12/2011 17:43

everlong has it, a lot of it is class based snobbery

Original poster
Greythorne · 02/12/2011 18:01

Sinical
How do you work that out?
We are in France and the woman in question is extremely posh, (BCBG), comes to the ice rink in her super smart work attire, drives off afterwards in a very smart car. Dunno where you are getting a class thing from......

OP posts:
SinicalSal · 02/12/2011 18:03

from a lot lot lot of similar threads. Always someone pops up to say it's chavvy

You're in France? I thought smoking was a lot more accepted there.

ll31 · 02/12/2011 18:25

cant get concerned about this - should you only let them out of the coach if you can guarantee they won't see any people smoking, or drinking, or cursing, or .....

CalatalieSisters · 02/12/2011 18:32

So long as the children aren't breathing in the smoke it wouldn't bother me at all. It makes me a bit sad that someone might be excluded from helping for this reason. And children are going to see people behaving less than perfectly at some point; they've got to live in the real world. I'd trust them not to want to copy some random mum.

Robins · 02/12/2011 18:43

My elderly mum's carers are really lovely but I was a bit taken aback when I could smell ciggy smoke on them last time I was there and they were changing her! Then saw a bunch of them outside the flats smoking. My hubby smokes and I never used to mind in the pub years ago and I can understand it can't be easy to stop but it does just seem 'dirty and smelly' and when you are in a caring role, well, your mindees will smell it on you!