Is this normal these days? People just seem to want to do everything and nit miss out on a thing. Maybe IABU....

[Greythorne]

DD is celebrating her 5th birthday next weekend. The party invitations - which went out weeks ago said it was from 3-6pm.

So far, three mums have called and said:

"Oh, yes, X will be there but not until 4.20 as he has judo at 3.30"

"oh, yes, Y will be there but at 5pm as he has drama at 4.45"

"oh yes, Z will be there, but I am taking the other DCs to the circus that day so I will have to drop her off at yours at 12 noon." [ie 3 HOURS before the party!]

AIBU to think this is, well, a bit off?

Either you go to a party or you don't. The party will now be a bit disjointed just because no child aged 5 can possibly miss a week of judo or whatever. They have to do everything. And the people going to the circus, surely if there is a clash, there's a clash and that's it, you can't do everything.

AIBU?

Nit miss out?
Not miss out, obviously.

YANBU

tell the cheeky cow that wants to drop early that that wont be possible.

Tell the others that if they cant make it at 3, then not to bother as you do not want children drifting in as ITS BAD MANNERS.

Some people huh!

Hehe I would always go to the party in case I miss out on any gossip lol. I guess people pay for the lessons so want them to attend. I would never drop off two hours early or arrive in the middle

Sounds very strange to me. DD would either go to the party or do the pre-booked activity, it would be her choice at the time. The midday drop-off for a 3pm party is really taking the piss, unless you're friends with the mother already.

They're all unreasonable, but Z's Mum is really taking the piss with that one!

Mrsnw
I agree; people have paid for lessons in advance so they don't want to miss out. I understand that! So they should miss the party, shouldn't they? Because you cannot do everything! Or you lose the money and attend the party.

But I don't get trying to do everything.....

I don't see why it matters if people come late or leave early - especially if they've told you so in advance.

3 hours Half that is long enough!

10-15 minutes I could understand, but some of these are taking the mickey!

YANBU!

I guess in terms of missing stuff, the argument I read here recently was that there seemed to be a party almost every week, so either they missed most of the social stuff their friends were doing, or they missed almost all their pre-paid lessons. Not saying it's right, but you can see why people might do this if there were regular parties.

YANBU

It kind of depends what sort of party you are having.

Sometimes DS has party week after week after week. He could either not go to the parties, miss his class every week or go to the party 10 mins late.

If he wants to go but doesn't want to miss his class, I ask the parent if it's ok to be 10 mins late. No-one has said it wasn't ok.

At DSs party, we had people pop in and out and I didnt mind at all. dS was just glad to see his friends.

YANBU...I can never understand this either!! ButI also don't understand what they'll be up to for THREE hours!

I suppose this is what happens when you invite every kid in the class to a party. Close friends (or parents of.. ) would probably make more effort to be there.

3 hours is a heck of a long time for the party. I know ds (year R) struggles at parties because of his hearing and the extreme noise. He's fine for 1.5 hours, 1.75 he's beginning to lose it and 2 hours is too much, as a rough guide. However it does depend on the party, time of day etc, so I tend to stay with him so I can remove him at a relevant time.

He's been invited to a party which is 2 hours long and my choice is:

1. Let him go and hope that he won't be too bad.
2. Take him late and he'll probably be fine.
3. Take him on time and remove him probably upset, possibly after winding other children up to sillyness, probably going round about the food time.
4. Don't go.

Easiest for me is 4. Kindest on other parent is almost certainly 2. I wouldn't necessarily tell the parent my reasoning, depending on how well I knew them, so I might just ask if it's okay if he's late.

YANBU IMO. I'd find anything more than 20 mins very rude really. Either prioritise the party or say no thank you. Probably is common though. It'd get my goat.