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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be anxious about this?

26 replies

lesley33 · 01/12/2011 08:48

I kind of know I am actually - I think.

But basically I think I am going to be made redundant. My job was under threat at the beginning of the year, but things improved financially for the company I work for and it looked fairly safe again. Recent circumstances though mean that I am seriously worried that the company I work for will collapse early next year. I will only get statutory redundancy pay.

I am really worried about this since finding out about it last week - having trouble sleeping, etc. But I suspect I abu to be so anxious. My DP works full time and earns about 25-30k - self employed so amount varies. And we have savings of about 60k. And we have no mortgage. So realistically i know we can manage without my wage - about 40k. But I am finding that I am frightened to spend any money now - not big amounts, just small every day stuff.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/12/2011 08:57

I would say you are being over-cautious. Very few people have the sort of savings, and equity that you have, and presumably you will be able to look for another job.

jkklpu · 01/12/2011 08:59

You don't sound U at all. It's a horrible position to be in and hard to stop anxiety. Try to eat well, drink less coffee and tea and go for a walk each day to clear your head a bit, especially if that helps you get out of your office.
Can you already start looking around for other jobs that might be going? Prospective employers are often better disposed to people in work than those coming from unemployment.

DoesNotGiveAFig · 01/12/2011 09:00

I'm really sorry this is happening to you!

You just need to breathe, calm down and tell yourself you'll be fine - because you will be. If you want to be more sensible with money then more power to you, but by the sounds of it it's not an immediate concern. Would it be an idea to shop around for a new job?

Best of luck, and you have my sympathies - my job is going the same way. My DH has had two redundancies this year, but we've survived. If it happens, give yourself a few minutes to be upset, and angry, then get on with it and make plans for a new job and life. Let your friends know too as their emotional support is invaluable. Good luck xx

MrGingleBells · 01/12/2011 09:01

60k in savings and no mortgage.

I'd be sleeping like a log tbh.

I think it is the middle classes who are going to bear the brunt of the next few years of austerity. But I'd say you've got a pretty big cushion.

Venture out into AIBU and _Chat and there are plenty of people who are / have gone to the wall.

Original poster
lesley33 · 01/12/2011 09:03

I have started looking around, but I can't even see any jobs in my field that I can apply for. Yes I can apply in other fields, but at the moment with the amount of competition there is for jobs, I am not hopeful about getting a job in another field. Realistically I think I could be unemployed for quite a while, so I need to plan for not having a job - while looking for one.

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 01/12/2011 09:03

I agree with MrGin.

jollyoldstnickschick · 01/12/2011 09:04

Sometimes things that seem so dreadful when we look back at them they were actually the defining point in our life,the life changing moment.

Your lucky to be in a strong position financially but why not have a bit of an 'action plan' if redundancies happen what would you want to do? pursue the same career? try something else? retrain?

SmethwickBelle · 01/12/2011 09:06

Its horrible to have an axe hovering over your head with things like this so you're not totally unreasonable to worry, however in the nicest possible way you are being a BIT unreasonable because you're really very financial secure. The house is safe and you might have plans for those savings but realistically they can cover any shortfall in your outgoings so you will be OK in the short to medium term (which is all most of us can hope for even when all is good).

You sound very organised to have your finances in such good shape so put that organisational skill to work making a back up plan: looking for a replacement job, getting CV brushed up and so forth. Making savings now and thinking about spending is sensible anyway so that's something you can be positive about doing. Maybe being proactive will quell the anxiety about it all.

MenopausalHaze · 01/12/2011 09:07

I wonder if you realise that actually you are really not in that precarious of a situation! Not even close. Am I alone in finding your OP a little distasteful given the real and horrid realities that are the actual lives of so so many other people?

NinkyNonker · 01/12/2011 09:09

It seems a but boasty tbh. However we all worry at different levels, so yanbu I guess.

Look at a safe vehicle for your savings, cash isn't the best/most profitable at the mo.

inatrance · 01/12/2011 09:10

You have £60k in savings?! And you are worried?

YABU

Original poster
lesley33 · 01/12/2011 09:21

I do realise many many, if not most people, are in a far more financially precarious situation which is why I did say that I think I am probably BU.

Ninkynonker - honest i am not boasting.

Both DP and I come from very very poor backgrounds and so we are very good at managing money and do routinely spend less than we earn. I do wonder if it is actually that experience of being very poor that is making me so anxious now. And by being poor I mean really struggling to afford very basics like enough to eat.

I think being very poor in the past perhaps affects me more than I realise. So for example, I always keep the kitchen very well stocked with dry and tinned foods as it worries me not to have much food in the house - although realistically it isn't an issue for us.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 01/12/2011 09:25

Its doesn't matter how much you earn, how much savings you have, or whether there are people worse off than you (like me lol) YANBU to worry. YABU to worry too much and lose sleep over it.

I've got spreadsheets of spreadsheets to help me budget (and I hate admin) but when I start fretting, I look at the spreadsheet and it gives me a little peace of mind that the basics are taken care of (roof, heat, electric, food, clothes etc.,) then I can stop worrying so much.

NinkyNonker · 01/12/2011 09:29

Oh yes, we are the spreadsheet kings in this house! We always spend less than we earn and save each month, but I am a worrier and so I do understand the worry.

thetasigmamum · 01/12/2011 09:31

I'd swap my situation for yours like a shot. :(

MrGingleBells · 01/12/2011 09:31

lesley33 That is admirable, really. And from that I can understand where your anxiety comes from.

And there is a very big storm coming. But you and your family are well prepared. There is reason for concern, but not to the extent that you loose sleep. You'll make yourself ill.

aldiwhore · 01/12/2011 09:38

Agree with MrGingle we're not prepared for a storm and struggle through calm weather half the time, but life goes on, and there's always a way to cope.

My parents were both raised in poor families, made money, were security seekers, lost everything, got it back through hard graft, so I've grown up with the attitude that there's actually no such thing as true security, life can bite you at any time, and money is not worth worrying over to the point it impacts your present day life so negatively you can't function or enjoy it.

All you can do is hope for the best, prepare as much as you can for the worst, and enjoy each day as it happens. In my humble opinion.

After watching my PIL work hard to pay off their mortgage and save for a good retirement, and going without for years only for MIL to die just after she retired, well it kind of put a whole new spin on my life. Be prepared (you are), be concerned (you are) but approach each new day as one to value.

AnaisB · 01/12/2011 09:45

YANBU to be anxious about the uncertainty, but objectively you are in a good position. Sorry you're finding it difficult.

MrsTwinks · 01/12/2011 09:50

Me and DH managed last year on £25kish all in, with rent and debts. You will be ok.

youtalkintome · 01/12/2011 09:59

YANBU to be anxious at all however with those savings and no mortgage i'd have jacked in work yonks ago and be partying in Ibiza Grin.

You'll be fine you have money to get you along until something else comes up? Is there anything you've always wanted to do, own business etc? I set up my own company and it's gone reallyunbelievably well, if your financially secure it could be worth looking into. I can't believe how much easier it is earning money for myself than slogging my guts out for someone else.

SarahBumBarer · 01/12/2011 10:28

YANBU to worry OP and to be honest even if you were BU who worries less just because they are told that they are being unreasonable? Hmm

I think you may find that worrying about it and going through all the disaster scenarios in your head may actually be worse than the practical realities of living through it if the worst does happen.

Plus I have high hopes for 2012 Smile

and PS - I have several fray Bentos pies and several tins of potato in the cupboard (among other delights) that my DH has stocked for an emergency. Hopefully whatever the emergency is will also kill my tastebuds!

ApplewoodSmoked · 01/12/2011 10:43

YANBU as even the threat of losing your job is scary.

I'd advise planning how you would cope in the worst case scenario. List all your outgoings and how they would be covered if you weren't working. See how long your savings would last and hopefully that will help you see that you will cope.

I was made redundant last year and still haven't found another job but, with careful planning, my savings are helping me get through. I'm also doing voluntary work which adds some meaning to my life and gives me the opportunity to try out/gain experience in different fields.

Good luck with it all.

Original poster
lesley33 · 01/12/2011 11:09

Thank you for all the kind words. I do know objectively that we can pay all the bills on DP's salary and not use our savings at all unless something needs repairing in the house. I just need to deal with the anxiety somehow.

As there are so few jobs around in my field perhaps I do need to look at retraining or voluntray work.

youtalkintome - I don't think really I am the type of person to run my own business, but thanks for the encouragement.

OP posts:
Original poster
lesley33 · 01/12/2011 11:09

And applewoodsmoked - Hope you find something else soon.

OP posts:
ApplewoodSmoked · 01/12/2011 16:32

Thanks Lesley.
I really hope you get to keep your job but, if you don't, I promise you'll handle it. Try not to worry over much (easy for me to say).
Change is stressful but it's also an opportunity to do something different.