To think sodding Sell-You-Stuff parties are a work of the Devil ...

[Fecklessdizzy]

Rant Alert ...

Seething (and stinking of garlic). Just got back from Stupidly-Overpriced-Cookware demo that I wasn't going to go to on account of having a foul cold and not being interested in podding out fifty quid for a casserole dish.

The friend who was hosting the thing was panicking about no-one turning up and guilt-tripped me into coming along to make up the numbers so I sat through the demo ( think shopping channel but much, much duller ) When the demonstrator handed round the stuff she'd cooked at the end I had a nibble or two then made my excuses and started to slink off when she says " Not buying anything, then?" My mate says " Oh, Feckless isn't feeling well, I made her come " and the bloody demonstrator whips back with " Shame, lucky it didn't affect your appitite, though! "

Snarl ...

I went to a friend's handmade jewellery party recently. It was stunningly lovely and she had made something I particularly wanted at a bargain price. I also found something gorgeous from the expensive end of the range!

I tend not to go if it's a franchise one, though. Anne Summers is my pet hate - polyester 1980s undies, dull dildoes, fluffy handcuffs, chocolate body paint... yawn.

I hate them.

Which is odd as I've never been to one, but, one year, barking SIL decided to start selling make up for one of them to raise money on the side. I was fortunately living in a different city at the time, so couldn't make it, but other siblings ended up having to go and buy stuff. Then, all our presents that year were from this company and I had to listen to months and months of "isn't this just the BEST make up ever?" shite and some weirdness about body glitter that was sweet and you could lick off. I don't want to know.

YADNBU
A friend of mine regularly used to invite me to hers, about two/three times a year. I never wanted to buy anything and find these "parties"awfully contrived.
I really hate them too.

Did anyone answer the question about protocol? Definitely arrive empty-handed. The host has invited you, hoping you might buy something. It's up to her to offer you nibbles and drinks. She and the consultant/seller shouldn't mind if you don't buy anything either. I sell some of this stuff and tend to assume that if you want the stuff, you'll buy it. If you don't, you won't. It's not my place to be offended if you don't want any of it. Once I've done my little selling spiel, I'm not about to do any hard sell. It's not me and it's not nice. Also if it's faulty or you don't like it, please do send it back. The compnay you bought it from should have some kind of guarantee whereby you are perfectly entitled to do that. The one I work for does. I find myself returning things I haven't even sold (assuming they are from the company whose products I sell!). It's very easy for me to do that. I don't know why more consultants/sellers don't do that - the lazy buggers!

To the person who considered maiming the seller/host with the cataloague: most of these catalogues are pretty flimsy. Best you could hope for is a paper cut really.

Not saying people don't do the hard sell, or make it hard for you to return goods, etc. - just saying what should happen.

I hate these "parties". Last one I got suckered into was Ann Summers. Never again.

I did get asked to a party where cards were sold, but I make my own as a hobby so politely declined. Also asked to a jewellery party, but again declined (again, I make my own costume stuff).

I am determined I won't be going to any more.

I was put off direct selling by being hounded by a Forever Living lady for months on end. Seriously, how much Aloe Vera shite can you possibly make? I had to feign family illness to get her off my back.

However I have now caved and am doing NYR Organic. It's nice for me, gets me out, gets me doing something other than being Mummy, I love the team meetings, I love the products, I love doing pamper evenings and Christmas fairs.

I am also the world's crappest and most awkward saleswoman and have had a few parties among friends but feel very self conscious about pushing it. I now get most of my party leads from having a stall at events and fairs.

It's going quite well, I am a team leader now, enjoying it very much. I needed a second job and a hobby and it fits in really well.

It makes me feel a little bit sad to read you all hate it so much - I've done some lovely parties, only do as much spiel as the general mood allows (met with blank faces, then I pass round some products then take a back seat and let them get on with it, whether that involves products or not) - if we have a special offer on then I do let people know but I also give away shitloads of free stuff so it's worth being on my mailing list - and if people find it that hateful they can unsubscribe with the click of a button.

I'm always handy for a school raffle prize (and no, I don't tuck my business card into the box in the hope that the winner will buy from me!)

Please don't hate me!

My mum used to be a Tupperware lady, many years ago. She didn't last long as she had no car and had to drag a great big suitcase around on the bus. Also she was too shy to be pushy and worked herself up into a state before the parties. Then we had a house full of tupperware for years as she'd had to buy all the demo stuff herself! (Mind you, I was very fond of the orange peeler thingy).
I don't go to selling parties nowadays now that I've got better at thinking up a convincing excuse, although I've been persuaded in the past to turn up at Ann Summers (Please no, not another game, and I really don't want to win the raffle, I dread to think what the prize will be), jewellery, make-up etc. I hate feeling that you have to buy something and sitting there trying to work out which is the cheapest thing in the catalogue without being too obvious, at the same time as feigning interest in the more expensive items.
BUT there was one notable exception. When I was a teenager I remember my mum was being pressured into having a clothes party and she didn't want to as she liked her neighbours and wanted to stay friends she knew what the parties could be like. She said she would only do it if the woman left the clothes with her for the day and let her get on with it. It was fab! The clothes arrived on a big rail one saturday morning and the neighbours were invited to pop in for a look any time they fancied. They could sit and natter and drink coffee without any hard-sell, they could try things on upstairs if they fancied and if they weren't sure they could go away and have a think and come back later. Lots of them did come back and place orders as they didn't feel under pressure (which does put a lot of people off, me included) and my mum made quite a lot of money that day.

I've never been to one of these and I never plan to. It's a shame all the Xmas/Easter fair stalls are used by them as its always the same wherever you go. Makes money I suppose.

I have been invited to so many of them via Facebook but I just ignore. One lady - who is actually very nice - is doing loads of stuff like this... in my head I call her the Franchise Queen

I hate them too. I am also billy no mates at the school gates and the only invite I ever got was to one of these....I was so disappointed when I realised they only wanted me to be sold to!

onceinawhile - at least you got invited! Imagine if you didn't even get invited along to a selling party to be sold to. At least you look approachable. I've not been invited to loads of them. Maybe I look too skint and am too smelly to possibly have any money to buy stuff.

Fecklessdizzy, what a great thread! I have been to Ann Summers, Pampered Chef, Phoenix Cards, Virgin V, Usborne, Partylite? (the candles one) and um probably several others. Mainly out of guilt or just an excuse to get out the house when DD had been poorly. I am currently ignoring Enjo and Aloe Vera invitations .

The worse one (though almost on a par with the PC one where I think I was the only one not to come away having bought the pizza stone), although the host was lovely, was the candle one. Sooo overpriced and all of us with young toddlers/cruisers where the thought of lighted candles in huge delicate fragile glass holders was just not practical. Similarly rude sales-person who was too dominant and openly irritated by the hostess who was desperately trying to lighten the hard sell. I made a pact with another friend that we wouldn't spend a penny... but got sucked into the "raffle" at £1 a ticket. My friend scooped the jackpot and neither of us bought. She felt guilty for not buying but winning, but I thought it made it worth the effort!

The best one was the Virgin V one as I had an evening instead of a baby-shower (something to which I have similar feelings towards). But the host was brilliant and basically gave all (expectant) mothers a lovely foot soak and massage on a warm August evening without a hard sell. Not what I would call a party but it was a lovely relaxing evening and narrowly avoided a friend giving birth by a few hours. And they have a good mixture of bath and make-up products and some for just a few pounds.

I find things like Phoenix bearable and useful/well-priced but better suited for the end of toddler/pre-school groups or the like rather than a party gathering. Or like another person said to just be the friend who does the cards, like the friend who does Avon.

I would love to go to a Tupperware party though... just for nostalgia reasons as I used to go with my mother in the 70s. Anyone want to invite me?? As long as it is BPA free!

I don't envy anyone trying to "earn a living" from any of this, trying to store all the stock etc. must be a nightmare. A friend once did Kleeneze (I think we must be all mugs down this way as most of us have either been to most of the parties or hosted/sold), but the Kleeneze stuff was just all around the house... mops everywhere. Nightmare!

I think these "parties" do have their place... esp for new mums who need something not too wild to go out to, and for whom mall shopping has become a bit of a new nightmare yet to be conquered. But purses should be left behind at home.

This really confirms my suspicions. A ridiculously rich friend of mine (bored I think) has become a Neals Yard Rep and is bugging me to host a party. I can't understand the logic as my house is literally half a mile from the nearest Neals Yard shop that has often has offers on, none of which would apply to the evening. She is also very wealthy and could easily afford to buy anything she wants.

The incentive for me humiliating myself for this? A bottle of body lotion... er right.

Although she hasn't called me for a while as she's in St Tropez at the moment... really.

YANBU I always decline them. Embarassing all round and awkward.

Im the worlds worst usborne rep,
I've been one for nearly a year and have yet to successfully book a party...playgroup...market stall...or anything really.

I did manage to convince a soft play centre to let me use a table in exchange for 10% of my takings...i ended up giving them 70p (though the silver lining was my daughter getting free entry :o, the remaining £6.30 paid for our drinks and hotdogs so we just had a cheap day out!)

I'm just really not pushy enough to make it work!

I think my current total profit overall is about £8, but we have tonnes of books that we havent had to pay for so I'm happy with that really, especially after reading this and knowing that most people would want to bludgeon me with a catalogue if I actually did host a party!

hi looblylu I do Usborne too and have done a few parties. I think most of my customers are bright enought to know what a book looks like and how to open it so I certainly dont do a sales pitch. What I do do is point out the special offers and help anyone who is looking for a particular present or idea for a child. The parties I do are usually low key and sociable which is surely what it should be about. Mine cant be too bad - I get return bookings and lots of interest during the year as people know that I know my stock, know their children and am passionate about books! OP - I think your party demonstrator was just really rude. What a shame - it gives us all a bad name.

arf at TheHamish looking poor and smelly. Poor ol' Hamish.

"So....these party plan things appeal to me because it means I can invite a cross section of friends round, provide LOTS of wine and food whilst the party planner does the part I find difficult....host/entertain.

I always tell people beforehand that I don't expect them to buy anything....and every time I have had a party there have always been people who take that advice and don't purchase. That does not bother me in the slightest. I also make sure the party planner doesn't use the 'hard sell'...have refused to book further party with one who did try to force the issue."

I have held a Virgin Vie party and a Pampered Chef party and on both occasions they were a really good laugh. I always tell my friends to come for a good night out and they don't have to buy anything. I find it stressful organising them because I'm always afraid that no-one will turn up. Luckily I had more than 20 poeple each time, and the atmosphere was more of a jolly social night out than a hard sell. In both cases the reps were friends of mine and didn't go down the hard sell route.

I enjoy them as a night out and find it easy to resist the pressure of buying something I don't want or need. I use the occasion to catch up with my friends.

Aside from the fact that they are clearly not a party, I find the evangelical approach of all the reps I have met just weird they really believe the crap they are sold. It is cult like and makes you want to grab them by the shoulders and give them a ggod shake.

If you are a natural salesperson and really believe in a product then there are a million things you could sell to people that actually wanted as opposed to simply guilting aquaintances into purchasing the cheapest item they can find in the catalogue.

Have we discussed the three thousand pound pans yet? Remember that thread? What a fecking joke. And the way the website made it sound like a fabulous excuse to host a dinner party for eight of your friends so you can have a really great evening and the £3k pan lady will prepare all the food for you, and you can just relax with your guests. Only they forgot to mention that you won't actually be left alone to realx and drink wine and discuss house prices and the the great private v. state debate, or where to go on holiday - OH NOOOO. Once you've sat down at your 'dinner party' you will be a hostage to a rabid nutter who will bully you for four hours about why you should spend £3k on a set of saucepans just because they can turn cabbage into cake without making it taste of cabbage.

So agree with that TQOD

Three thousand for a pan? I missed that thread. Luckily.

oh it was hilarious. I'll see if I can find it. Probs gone into the ether now though, like all the best chat threads.

Found it. It was in AIBU thankfully. Can't link it though - my laptop has itself to something funny and I can't do links until DH gets back from the shop. But you were on that thread, so you must have Alzeimers coming you daft bint.

OK, one post only under this name as I am going to be rather blunt.

IF you don't want to go to a party, grow a pair and say 'No thanks'.

Turning up if you really don't want to isn't actually doing anyone any favours. You're not 'being nice to the person who invited you' because to be honest your negativity will invade the room. She doesn't hold the party to 'make money' but to have a fun night and maybe get a couple of freebies, and if you're uncomfortable (or in the case of Ann Summers embarrassed and ill at ease) it WILL show.

The reason you get what you see as the 'hard sell' is two-fold. One, your Party Organiser (the rep, not the hostess) assumes that your hostess really wants her free goods, we assume that's why she booked the party. So we do our best to boost the sales on her behalf.
But secondly, are you aware that there is NO basic wage for the Organiser? Every Party Plan company I know of pays you Commission ONLY. If you don't buy, I don't earn. As for the raffle, that usually covers either travelling expenses or my babysitter.

Now I know you're thinking 'If I wanted to buy, I'd go to the shop'. Then DON'T come to the party! As for the 'games are not fun' - we are advised not to play the games, because it 'wastes valuable selling time'. We actually put the games in to try to LIGHTEN the hard sell atmosphere!!!! But it seems you can't please some people!

Party Plan can be ideal for women who are SAHM because it's very flexible and family-friendly. But as it's commission based, that's why you feel that she really wants you to buy. I've done parties where I've plainly been booked 'just so we can have a laugh and a good night in'. That's lovely, I'll drive for up to an hour each way, lug stuff around, entertain you for an hour and a half (and you WILL be entertained because I am bloody good at my job) and then, you can 'not spend' because you made a pact with your friend, and I'll get home at 11pm with no sodding wages.

I know I sound bitter but believe me I am not bitter towards people just because they don't want to buy the producvs - that's OBVIOUSLY your choice! But as I said at the beginning, if that's how you feel about the stuff then you're not doing any of us any favours including yourself by forcing yourself to come.

Finally, to all who said Ann Summers stuff is horrible, out of date, tarty, and polyester - I'd venture to suggest that you haven't really looked properly. We now sell some stunning underwear, using pure silk and satin amongst other materials. In fact, what you see in AS this year will appear in most of the other shops in six months time as they nearly ALL copy our designs now. Yes, in the 80's it was cheap tat - but heck, in the 80's I had polyester TROUSERS!

I'm going back to my normal username now, but wanted the opportunity to defend myself and all the other women out there who are just trying to make a quid or two. I'm not at the 'top of the pile' and I haven't made millions - but Party Plan has made the difference when it comes to saying 'yes, you can go on the school trip' and things like that.

I quite like them.