I have been pondering this for a week and the more I think about it the more I think I need to speak with the form teacher.
I got an email last Friday telling me that DS who is 11yo, has got detention for inciting other boys to fight. I was shocked, this does not sound like him at all but I can just imagine that if there was a group he could get caught up with the crowed and shout along with all the others.
So I started my talk with him with the 'I'm so disappointed in you' routine and he burst into tears (not uncommon, he is emotional) and explained his side of the story.
His side of the story is that as he was coming in from his lunch break there was a large group of children (more than 20) in the hallway so he had to squeeze around the edge. He became aware that there was a small group making a lot of noise and shouting things like 'take him!' and 'knock him down', DS was curious and so hung on for a few moments to see what was going on and waved at a friend with the back of his hand(??).
If this was the end of the story and everyone there got detention I would not really be concerned, its a strict school and they need to come down hard on boys fighting but... DS was called to the form teacher because another boy said that he was involved, he was not asked to give his story and he was shouted at and intimidated and put on detention. As far as he knows he and only one other boy (and DS says that this boy was actually involved) are on detention. DS never had an opportunity to defend himself from the accusation of another pupil (who does not seem to be on detention but was there).
Am I being unreasonable to call the form teacher and ask for clarification on this as it seems to me to be grossly unfair. IMO, from DS's side of the story, at least 20 boys should be on detention. I am aware that waving with the back of the hand is odd and I have now explained to DS the multitude of rude gestures that this could be interpreted as but he was genuinely shocked when I explained quite how rude (wanking, V sign and the finger). I don't want to get him off detention as such but I do want to know what the form teacher knows that I don't and why no other boys have received a detention for this incident.