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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...rather: can't decide whether this trolley pusher of major superstore is pervy... or super friendly

18 replies

wasabisaucefortuna · 30/11/2011 19:00

We've been going to local major superstore for years. One of the trolley pusher (elderly) seems to single me and DSs out every time (though he does it to other small children but not as obtrusively). Shouts "ho ho ho" every time he spots us, even if it's right across the car park... People always stare, like WTF? DS1 (7) is STILL scared of him, and he isn't afraid of much! Trolley pusher will chase DSs, well not so much chase as a "controlled stroll" towards us, like the vilain of a horror movie. Scares the sh!t out of DSs. He doesn't say anything particularly weird, just - relatively - normal things, like "are you going to be good for you mummy?", "you're a cheeky boy, aren't you?", stand really close to us, pinch their cheeks. But the way he says it... I don't know. He also does this when (usually lot younger, shy) colleague is present. I don't know what to make of it.... Usually just laugh nervously politely.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 30/11/2011 19:10

You know your DS is scared shitless and you don't stop him? Poor boy.

belgo · 30/11/2011 19:12

I am very polite but even I would ask him to leave us alone please. The cheek pinching would really piss me off.

theincredibequeenofwands · 30/11/2011 19:13

Ummmmm.... police?

Elderly man chasing a frightened child and shouting 'ho, ho, ho'' like the villain in a horror movie? Jack Torrance springs to mind.

Manager at the very least.

Lucyloo81 · 30/11/2011 19:14

Haha, we have one like that too, you don't happen to live in Scotland do you?

Ours sounds identical, always follows me when he sees I have the kids with me and is a bit overfriendly and odd. I also can't decide if he is pervy or just a bit odd....

minimisschief · 30/11/2011 19:14

wtf at police

AnaisB · 30/11/2011 19:15

He sounds odd. Why not ask him to stop and explain he scares your son. He may be a bit socially oblivious.

uniCorny · 30/11/2011 19:19

he probably has no idea that you find him creepy/scary and is trying to be friendly

squeakytoy · 30/11/2011 19:21

Speak to the store manager. It is possible (and probable) that he has Special Needs, but obviously it isnt acceptable for him to be scaring children.

Going to the police first would be a huge over-reaction.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 30/11/2011 19:28

Supermarkets often employ people with ld's as trolley staff, he may have 'social issues' and be unaware. I'd have a firm word with him, if it carries on, have a chat with someone off customer services or somesuch.

unfitmother · 30/11/2011 19:28

He probably needs advice about how he is coming across.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 30/11/2011 19:30

Tho I do think your son may need to get a wee bit of a grip too, if he does it all the time I imagine it's pretty obvious he's harmless by now Wink

wasabisaucefortuna · 30/11/2011 19:32

lucyloo no, don't live in Scotland.

I should add DSs like to be scared (DH conditioned them that way, always on the brink of crying/laughing...). They ARE scared though and run away and hide (if they can) but don't cry, so are not terrified. Does that make sense...?

OP posts:
carabos · 30/11/2011 19:56

There was a over familiar very friendly elderly chap who used to move the trolleys at our supermarket. One day when he bellowed mentioned again how different DS1and 2 are (one very dark and one ginger) I got fed up and bellowed back said "they've got different fathers if you must know".

That was the end of that. Set the boundaries, some people just don't have them. Wink

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 30/11/2011 20:06

Sounds like a harmless old chap that is trying to engage with your kid because he recognises you as you are a regular customer.Probably just trying to be nice.
Get a grip and teach your ds to too.

belledechocchipcookie · 30/11/2011 20:09

Order online maybe?

complexnumber · 30/11/2011 20:12

What LBB&B said

CupOfGoodCheer · 30/11/2011 20:13

Get a grip.

Speak to your DS and tell him that sometimes old people like to chat, and whilst we might not want to at that moment, the polite thing is to be civil. He probably thinks he's being friendly/funny. Your job as a fellow human being is to smile along and escape as soon as you can

You could have a word with yourself too if you want.

Doha · 30/11/2011 20:14

We have one here too and in Scotland.. He is now over 80 anad still pushing trollets for the local supermarket,
DD2 now 16 is still very wary of him and was terrified of him when she was younger.

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