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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

not to do party bags or will I seem like a miserable cowbag?

57 replies

MissCalamity · 30/11/2011 15:35

DS is 2 in a couple of weeks and like last year we'll be having a relatively small party in our house. Last year I didn't do party bags as all the children attending were around the same age and thought it was a little bit pointless.

All the children's parties I've been to in the past year have given DS a party bag on the way out, most of which includes stuff he's never used: bouncy ball (way too small) whistle (far too noisy) those bubble blower things (all stacked up in a cupboard) and a few bits of chocolate.

I'll buy a big specially made cake for him and give everyone a bit when they are leaving (like last year)

I think a few more older children will be attending this year, so I suppose it's more of the norm to do them, I just would rather spend the money on the buffet / decorations / cake than a bit of plastic tat that will be shoved in a cupboard / bin and forgotten about.

So AIBU or not? What do you think...?!

OP posts:

DeWe · 30/11/2011 17:43

Get job lot of small books, wrap them up and they can do a lucky dip at the exit. We usually try and get books, they end up costing less than £1 each if you're careful.

ChristinedePizanne · 30/11/2011 17:47

If you decide to do them, can I make a plea to not include party poppers in the bags as a) they are not suitable for 3 and 4 YOs and b) they are liable to cause car accidents when children pull the string 'to see what happens' when you are driving them home

HipHopOpotomus · 30/11/2011 17:48

I didn't do party bags for DD's 3rd birthday. Oh the horror! Oh the disappointment!! Won't make that mistake again and made up for it with splendid party bags for her 4th.

But for 2yo I wouldn't bother - give them some cake and a small bottle of bubbles each - easy.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy I do agree with you, but for the kids its ALL ABOUT THE PART BAG. DD can talk about all the party bags she got this year, what was in them etc et. - they love then absurdly.

MNHQ

OliviaMumsnet · 30/11/2011 17:57

I did individually cello- wrapped biscuits for the tiny guests at DS2's birthday.
meant to ice 'em but ran out of time and inclination
So not a bag but a wee something iykwim.

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 30/11/2011 18:43

Well then I shall send in 30 party bags to school and not bother with the party :o

DressDownFriday · 30/11/2011 18:49

I never bothered with party bags when my dd had a party. We hired a venue, paid for a magician and did all the food ourselves for 30 kids. There was no way I was going to spend money on cheap crap as well just for a party bag.

All the children went away with some cake, a balloon and any left over sweets/buns.

Some cheeky beggers did ask for a bag and were a bit when I told them there wasn't any.

Am I a miserable cow - maybe. Do I care - NO.

JennyPiccolo · 30/11/2011 18:51

how about a bit of cake tied to a helium balloon? Helium balloons are quite exciting for small children, at least they'd play with them.

Driftwood999 · 30/11/2011 19:27

Please OP, dare to be different, your instincts are right! You will be admired even. The fact is that you are giving a party in your own home, you will have given all a good time, food, entertainment...the essence of hospitality. I so regret the over consumption of the 1980's, when all this started.

natation · 30/11/2011 20:03

I'm a miserable cow and don't do party bags. I am however entertaining 15 nine year old girls for 5 hours, taking them to the cinema, having 3 or 4 of them sleeping over afterwards. The plans is to come back and make cup cakes or biscuits after the film, sort of make your own going home present. I just don't like the expectation of receiving the bags, the fact that most party bags are thrown away. I've never had anyone complain about the fact that the children don't receive party bags.

sozzledchops · 30/11/2011 20:11

I hate them and most of it goes straight in the bin, have still done them on occasion though as I wasn't always strong enough to resist peer pressure. Forgot to hand them out one year and no-one even noticed.

Am I the only one who remembers when all you got at the end was a piece of cake wrapped in tissue, or am I just really old?

BleurghUna · 30/11/2011 20:16

No-one hosting a party for 2 year olds could be called a miserable cowbag! I do think you should give them a small going home present though, how about some chocolate coins?

MeconiumHappens · 30/11/2011 20:22

I remember loving the bags as a child., If its the plastic tat you despise, dont put plastic tat in it. Piece of cake, balloon, packet of crayons, lollipop= happy little people. Easy peasy.

Rhubarbgarden · 30/11/2011 20:24

I have no intention of doing party bags for dd's 2nd birthday. I expect I shall probably cave in to pressure when she's older, but not for two year olds. No bloody way. I'd rather give away vodka miniatures to the parents...

Viewofthehills · 30/11/2011 20:25

i have always hated party bags because they are a total waste of plastic and money. For two year olds I would get a pile of chocolate lollies and give them one each as they go.

grumplestilskin · 30/11/2011 20:26

YANBU IF you plan to sit down and write thank you cards afterwards, party bags are a handy way to put in a thank you note so its done, I wouldn't mind not getting one but would be if no thankyou note followed later

littleducks · 30/11/2011 20:29

I would give a balloon (helium if your inclined) they can be party decorations while you are there and then each child takes a slice of cake and a balloon home.

SoupDragon · 30/11/2011 20:31

I think of them as "now f-off home" bags.

fishandlilacs · 30/11/2011 20:39

The last 2 parties dd has been 2 ( both 5yr) they came home with a bit of cake and a book from osbourne. I was much happier with that than plastictat-however dd wasn't impressed. She does like the books but she also LOVES plastic tat.

theidsalright · 30/11/2011 20:45

there is no way YABU
The children are two FFS. They are just getting what a party is. THEY have no expectations. The parents however are another thing. I'm a firm believer in doing it your way!

MrsPeterDoherty · 30/11/2011 20:52

Make a cake, don't buy one

sozzledchops · 30/11/2011 21:43

I'd buy one, least you'll know it won't poison them.

BlueCat2010 · 02/12/2011 23:16

Am I the only person here that loves doing party bags?

No plastic tat I hasten to add, I just look out for nice stuff and hoard it leading up to the party. I love sitting and stuffing bags, it's part of the build up to me

troisgarcons · 02/12/2011 23:30

My suggestion ... and shoot me .....Lidl etc ...give each child a bag of chocolate coins .....the whole party bag thing was ridiculous one year - No2 son in Y5 came home with a bottle of aftershave:| .....

Letchlady · 03/12/2011 21:20

I think I must be on my own when I say I quite like them.

When my DDs have parties, I get them involved and to think about their guests and what their guests will enjoy and take home.

I think children's parties can be quite grabby, especially for the birthday child its all "I've paid this" and "I'm doing that.." etc, everything is about the 'special child' but when is the birthday child required to be a good host and think about their guests?

Therefore, I do party bags (but no plastic tat) and my children help me choose the items they give away in their bags. When doing books etc, my children have been known to allocate specific books to specific children, making sure that their guests get the books that they would like.

To me, party bags are a way of countering the "me, me, me" selfish attitudes that are so prevalent in today's society.

But that's just me .

exaspomum · 03/12/2011 21:41

How about a small selection box?

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