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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another dog AIBU

15 replies

NewChoos · 30/11/2011 11:00

One of my best friends came to stay for Christmas last year with his dog. Although I hid my feelings as much as possible, the dog drove me mad! Dog left very muddy remains on cream sofa, carpet and a cushion that was a wedding present. Also went for a wee on neighbours door step (The snow made the wee very obvious and we took a box of chocs round to apologise).
Friend was coming to stay this year, we have got an 7mo DS now, he asked if it was ok to bring Dog. I asked if he could get someone to look after Dog as it would be easier with the baby (not total lie, baby crawling and I don't want him crawling in mud, he has health concern and so I have to protect more).
Anyway, friend has now said he can't come, so I relented and said Dog could come but would have to stay downstairs but he's still not coming to stay now.

I feel bad but really don't want the dog in my house and around the baby. I am aware that friend should be clearing up after Dog and not allowing on sofa etc but he treats Dog as his baby! For the record, I don't dislike dogs... just don't really want one in my house again for a week.
So AIBU ?

OP posts:

AntiqueAnteater · 30/11/2011 11:03

why does it have to be a week, why cant he come for the day

ChitChattingElf · 30/11/2011 11:04

of course YANBU! Why on earth would you think you are? Your friend didn't exactly do much to make sure the dog wasn't a nuisance last time.

Original poster

NewChoos · 30/11/2011 11:04

Trains and doesn't drive, will be at least 5 day stay. He's 4 hours away, have offered to pick him up though.

OP posts:

flowery · 30/11/2011 11:05

YANBU. Your house, up to you. I have a dog but wouldn't be offended if any friends/family didn't want him there. I wouldn't go without him for Christmas anywhere but would certainly have no problem with him having to stay downstairs, in fact would be astonished at anything else. He's not allowed upstairs at home either, let alone in someone else's house.

So for not being happy with the downstairs compromise, your friend IBU.

aldiwhore · 30/11/2011 11:05

He asked if it was okay to bring the dog, this usually means (as its a question) that there's a chance the answer could be no. Now he's throwing a hissy fit?

YANBU.

At all. I don't do other people's pets. We have friends who have two lovely Border Terriers, they really are lovely but they're not welcome in our house. They chew everything, they scare the cat (which does have a slight comedy value its true) and they're quite lively. Our friends aren't sulkers though, so hire dogsitters when they come here, likewise, their house is very child unfriendly so we hire babysitters when we go there.

Original poster

NewChoos · 30/11/2011 11:06

and I am worried he will spend Christmas on his own now as he has strained relationship with his family.

OP posts:

BuntyPenfold · 30/11/2011 11:06

One doorstep is as good as another to the dog!
Of course the dog owner should not have brought in the dog while muddy, he should have dried/cleaned him. So YANBU to expect a visiting dog to be cleaned after a walk.

BeerTricksPotter · 30/11/2011 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowery · 30/11/2011 11:08

If he ends up spending Christmas alone because his dog isn't allowed upstairs that's his look out imo. How ridiculously precious.

BuntyPenfold · 30/11/2011 11:08

Sounds as if the dog is his family. You said he treats it like a baby.
His choice anyway, of course the baby's health comes first.

BeerTricksPotter · 30/11/2011 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exexpat · 30/11/2011 11:10

YANBU. I'm a dog owner who only takes him to houses where he is welcome, so he goes to a dog sitter when I visit the PiLs, for example. And having a crawling baby is a perfectly good reason not to welcome dogs.

Original poster

NewChoos · 30/11/2011 11:10

Well he hasn't said he's unhappy about the dog being downstairs, just that he won't be able to come. Our downstairs is a kitchen/dining room. Lounge is upstairs, so maybe he's not happy about that. Understood re door steps :) I was just a bit embarrassed as the dog ran out the door for his wee while they had visitors walking in!!

OP posts:

muffinino82 · 30/11/2011 12:55

YANBU to say dog can't come, however it is unreasonable to think he can just leave it with someone and come without it. I have two cats and two horses, plus fish, and I am staying home Christmas rather than going to see relatives as I have nobody to look after them. They're my responsibility and I can't just leave them. He is BveryU to not come now you've said dog can come but stay downstairs.

HazleNutt · 30/11/2011 13:01

YANBU and I'm a dogowner. Badly behaving dogs and children and owners/parents who will not dicipline them are still not welcome at my place. Keeping such dog downstairs was already a very generous offer.

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