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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH annoyed with me for not taking DS down in the morning, after DH had a night out!

19 replies

KnockedUpMell · 30/11/2011 10:17

Surely I am NBU! He gets to go out at least once a week. DS is now 8mo and DH has watched him 3 times when I've been out. When DH works late, I take DS out so he can have a lie in. And if in feeling synpathetic enough i do this most weekends. Last night DS had a rough night and wanted feeding every two hours (we co-sleep and bf) and I was knackered and didn't fancy getting out of bed at 6.30am. DH had a go at me for not getting out of bed and taking him out on the basis that I am a morning person anyway and as I was awake already I should have taken him out. AIBU???

OP posts:

GrownUpSparkler · 30/11/2011 10:19

Of course he is being unreasonable, if he doesn't like the fact that he's tired and hungover and his family is living life as normal around him, he should vacate the bed and go find somewhere else to sleep it off.

Angelswings · 30/11/2011 10:22

You are a saint.

My DH recognised it's tiring looking after a baby all day and would let me have a lie in on the mornings he worked by taking our co sleeping baby downstairs while I had an hours sleep

Start the change today ........ Just dont go on a nursing strike!

Original poster

KnockedUpMell · 30/11/2011 10:54

I did suggest (nicely) that he sleep in the spare room if he didn't want to be disturbed in the morning and got a rant about maybe he should move out instead! And then I was told he was being unselfish by letting me go to bed early (admittedly occasionally as early as 8pm) whenever I was tired! Sigh... Life was so much simpler when I was single!

OP posts:

aldiwhore · 30/11/2011 10:55

YANBU.

BUT.

If one of us has a night out we also get a lie in the next morning. We do return the favour though.

NinkyNonker · 30/11/2011 11:00

Errr, he let's you go to bed early? How and why would he stop you?

I would prob let DH have a lie in, but if he knew I'd been up half the night I don't think he'd take it.

AntiqueAnteater · 30/11/2011 11:00

surely none of you can sleep properly with all sleeping in the same bed and being woken up every 2 hours. I would be exhausted as well. There is no reason a 8 month old needs feeding every 2 hours. You need to both sort yourselves out a bit and there will be less bickering

Original poster

KnockedUpMell · 30/11/2011 11:06

antiqueanteater DS has had a cold recently and was feeling poorly. He doesn't usually feed every 2 hours! And co-sleeping and bf works well for us as I don't have to get out of bed at all, and DS feeds in his sleep so DH has an undisturbed nights sleep every night and I usually doze off once DS is latched on.

OP posts:

4madboys · 30/11/2011 11:07

some 8mths are pretty much still on milk (are you blw op) in which case milk makes up the bulk of the diet and if the baby is teething, having a developmental leap or just a bit under the weather then the baby feeding that much at 8mths is not that unusual. she says herself it was a 'rough night' so obviously not the norm.

the co-sleeping etc is fine, i think the ops dh should have slept elsewhere if he didnt want to be disturbed, also if he had been drinking a lot it would make sense and be safer for him to sleep elsewhere anyway.

GrownUpSparkler · 30/11/2011 11:15

Seriously he mentioned moving out over a morning's sleep?

samandi · 30/11/2011 11:19

LMAO at being "let to go to bed early"!

YANBU, obviously.

Angelswings · 30/11/2011 11:23

Im sure your baby appreciates you knockedupmelleven if he doesn't

Witchofthenorth · 30/11/2011 11:23

I think I would have taken him up on his offer to move out TBH!

It sounds as though he has this fatherhood lark quite easy to me.

OTTMummA · 30/11/2011 11:25

Tell him he can move out if he wants, but he will probably be working to many hours to cover two rents/mortages and two sets of bills to be able to go out as much as he is now.

Selfish twat.
YADNBU.

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 11:30

YANBU

Banish to the spare room!

ChaoticAngel · 30/11/2011 11:38

YANBU

I'd have let him move out too.

Annpan88 · 30/11/2011 12:04

YANBU but be prepared for him not letting' you have a lie in on one of your rare nights out.

And babies are all different. You don't have to justify your babies sleeping habbits to anyone :) (speaking as a sleep deprived mother of an 8 month old)

NaughtyBusterAndTheBumFactory · 30/11/2011 12:19

I think he takes you for granted. You sound like you to the majority of the parenting. Remind him that it is his baby too. It's give and take.

Moominsarescary · 30/11/2011 12:23

Yanbu my 8 month old has been waking every hour and feeding every two all week, think he may be teething, I'm bloody knackered

Hopefully we will all get some more sleep soon but your dh ibu and a bit of a knobber

lettingitallgonow · 30/11/2011 12:43

He's being an unrealistic, selfish idiot over this.. It's probabaly because he's tired and hungover but I'd be having serious words with him once his mood improves and also telling him that whoever has a lie in on Saturday morning, takes the early morning shift on the Sunday. Fairs fair and all that...

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