...to ask people where they are from?

[KissMyA]

read this article: here which was posted on my friends Facebook page, she commented 'yes it's so annoying' and now feel really bad! I've asked people where their family are from and had no idea this annoyed people so much?

My skin is White but I am mixed ethnicities. Aibu to find people ethnicities interesting? I think I'll stick to the weather from now on.

annoying? really? doesnt annoy me - although no-ones ever asked me in the way that woman has described it.

Well, I think if you keep pushing the way that person in the article pushed, then, yes, it's annoying.

If you say 'where are you from' and they answer 'London' and you let it go, it's fine.

And if you only ask people of colour? Then it's definitely racist.

I think the journalist is overly touchy. I'm white but non English an've never minded answering questions about my background if asked politely. Curiosity is natural and educating others will help more than being snitty. YANBU.

I have emigrated. I am British white in a majority white country but every time I open my mouth I am asked where I am from. Every time for 5 years. Everyone has something to say about it too. I once got asked if I was faking my accent because it was 'nauseating'. He was mentally ill but still.

I have a mixed European heritage, to answer your actual question.

Annoys me. I'm from London. Been called paki, wop, greasy dago. (My grandmother is Spanish, in fact she's from Gibraltar, which makes her British). I too have been asked if I eat foreign muck, foreign stuff or shit loads of garlic. I do, it wards of idiots!

off

I think the article has a valid point but it works both ways. I worked in a secondary school where the vast majority of the pupils were non-Caucasian (most were black or from the middle east) and the majority of the small number of Caucasian pupils were from Poland or from Irish Traveller families. I am white with dark blonde hair and (cringe) a middle class British accent and yet the students could not accept that I was English/British and would ask "where are your parents from then"..."where are their parents from?" etc....

Dawn that's a whole other situation than someone saying 'where is your family from?' politely and with genuine interest. Maybe answer my op than insinuate I ask people if they eat muck and call them wops?

I've never asked a stranger in the street either, I find that a little rude.

I pretty much always ask people with an accent where they are from. I find it interesting, I love knowing where people came from, what drew them here and so on. I only ask if there is obvious accent though (as in I know for certain they were not born here and probably came here as an adult not as a child), colour means nothing since we have people of all colours who are born and bred here. I class myself mixed white or white european on forms if I can as my mother is French, I grew up with two nationalities and while I have always lived here and am British I have strong French roots and ethnically I am not fully British.

Galway, but I have an English accent.

I have asked many friends about their roots, especially as family history colours world and national history so vividly and am genuinely interested. Most of my "white" friends have really interesting family backgrounds as well as um my darker toned buddies. I hope I haven't caused offence to anyone. I am a child of immigrants but have always been proud of my origins. I just would hate for anyone to think that I was trying to be something I am not or denying a part of what I really am.

live in yorkshire but born in birmingham and people always say (in reet yorkie) tha wernt born here wer thee lass, scottish father irish grandfather so inherited the red hair

I worked as a sales rep and with lots of different nationalities. I always ask people where they have moved from and in every case they have been pleased to be asked and happy to talk about it. It's just polite conversation.

I think the problem is that it is not always asked out of curiosity/interest or by way of casual conversation, but sometimes is deliberately asked to emphasise difference, or not 'belonging', because one person doesn't think the other looks or sounds as though they are 'local'.

The recipient doesn't know what the enquirer's intention is, and it must be really galling to keep getting the same question repeatedly, especially when you feel you do 'belong' there.

I read that too and found it a bit odd. I am white but have an unusual name (obviously not English) and people always ask me where it's from and then when I say will ask me more about my heritage - I think it's nice people take an interest rather than just mispronounce it and make no effort. I know that's a different example as it's not based on appearance but I get asked it every day - it takes me 2 seconds to reply.

" I am white with dark blonde hair and (cringe) a middle class British accent and yet the students could not accept that I was English/British and would ask "where are your parents from then"..."where are their parents from?" etc ...."

Truly odd.

Did you ever get to the bottom of that?

As for the article - a non story if ever there was one. Must be a quiet day at the Gruinard.

I'm Irish (living in the UK) and we Irish really like to know where people from. I think its just part of living in a small country with a strong sense of place. If I'm chatting to a person with a noticeable accent of any kind I'll often ask them where they come from originally. And I have occasionally asked people I know who are obviously of immigrant origin where their family came from (I wouldn't do this with a stranger). It never occurred to me that it might seem racist.

I don't find it annoying to be asked but peoples reactions can be, like the extreme in the article. I am of a very mixed white hertiage, and my grandparents travelled the world so alot of influences/histoy/whatever all over the world.

In extreme, I've had people ask as my name is uncommon and then blank me afterwards (DH's racist twat of an ex boss). Or they think its funny to make ethic jokes that make me want to punch them in the face because I've said X so "opened it up".

The woman in the article sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder.I think it's only natural to wonder about another persons heritage.

Dawndonna Well that's hardly the same thing!

I herald from Hounslow. Not that interesting to most folk

I often get asked 'that's an unusual name, where's it from?'

I often say to people 'where did you grow up?' out of interest, say if I'm on Question 21 at a works dinner, they often say Kent or whatever, but also different countries.

I love to hear about different cultures and heritages, and it would be a shame not to have those conversations, in my experience most people love to chat about where they are from, whether abroad, UK, or round the corner.

As an ex-American living in the UK for the past 10 years I have to say these sorts of conversations ARE starting to get annoying. I don't mind so much telling where I was from, it's the questions about what it's like there now. I usually have to answer "Ummm, I haven't lived there in 10 years so how would I know?"

Top questions:
Do you go back often?
Do you like it here?
Why would you want to live here?
Don't you miss it?
etc, etc.

I've been here 10 years so I must like it and must have a pretty good reason for staying. I do try to be patient but I know I've given some pretty arsey answers so it must be getting on my nerves...

In my experience you can tell pretty easily when someone is asking those kind of questions with an agenda. My favourite comment was "You have a strange accent. Where are you from"? I resisted the urge to point out that his accent sounded pretty strange to me too .

I think how you take it or see it is related to how many times you're asked.

the way that Reporter has been asked is plain rude.

But, it's very much like us pregnant women being asked the ins and outs of the pregnancy etc just because we're visible with it.
We only have to put up with it for a few months.
imagine having to put up with intrusive, irrelevant questions for the whole of your life - then you'd be bloody pissed off with it too.

I don't know if i think it's racist - until they give the continual questioning where they don't accept that an English person who comes from London and therefore is highly likely to have an english/London accent, and keep asking where you're from.

I personally listen to accents - you can get a better idea of whether someone is British-born, long-time British citizen/resident, newly-arrived or been here a while etc by accent.
Then it's more making conversation, finding out about background etc.
but just to ask on the colour of skin, well, i think that's just wrong.

But by 'where are you from?' I do mean where did you grow up, so if the person said London, I would chat about living and growing up in London, I don't mean 'what ethnicity are you?' by that question. But if people then want to incorporate that into their answer e.g. 'I'm from London but my parents moved there from Tunisia in the 1970's' that would be interesting too.