Or PFB?

[Bubandbump]

I met a friend for coffee yesterday, whose DS was full of a chesty cough. Apparently he had also had a temperature the night before. My DD (6 mo) has woken up this morning with a chesty cough. To be honest it's the last thing I need on top of major teething and no sleep.

Am I being pfb to think she shouldn't have come out or at the very least text me to ask if I still wanted to meet? Her reasoning was that she wouldn't leave the house all winter if she stayed at home every time he was ill. Or am I just going to have to get used to this? I just want more than 3 hours consecutive sleep before Christmas!

I can see both sides. As someone who lived for meeting people when my DD was small I can see why she brought her DS out, BUT, as someone who had a sickly DD I can see why you are so annoyed.
Look on the bright side, it won't be the first time your plans are scuppered.

i agree that you'd never go out all winter if you stayed in every time the dc have a runny nose, but i think it's polite to warn a friend before you meet if the dc are full of cold.

I think she should have asked you. 6 months is still quite young. Though on the whole, I am not of the school who believe you should stay in with every cough and cold - I think that's silly.

DS has a chesty cough circa every two weeks, if i took time off every time he had that i wouldnt be in a job.

I think you are being overly precious yes; kids have chesty coughs all over the autumn/winter. chances are your DD didnt even catch it from other DS.

That's a tricky one. I think tbh if your baby were a little younger I would have called / warned you but by 6 months they are usually a bit more sturdy.

Can certainly sympathise with you though! It is no fun when they are ill.

I don't think that this is just a simple cold though. A temperature and nasty cough could easily be something more. For me the tipping point is whether there is a temperature or not, bit like when trying to decide whether to take DS to the CM or not. Runny nose but otherwise fine and no temp and off he goes, temperature and quieter than normal and he stays at home.

And yes I think that she should have texted you first. i would do with my friends and our DS's are coming up for 2.

wait til she starts nursery... kids are like germ factories.

Well. There is a difference between being choosing, not unreasonably, to get out the house with a coldy-child; and imposing said bugs on you. Of course she doesn't have to stay locked up; but she should have given you the facts and let you decide whether to risk it or not.

There's no saying that your DD caught the chesty cough from your friend's DS. Don't these things take five days to incubate? (Not a doctor, so not sure.)

I do sympathise because it's horrible having a sick baby at this time of year, especially if they're teething too, but coughs and colds are very hard to avoid.

Another amazing mother who knows EXACTLY where her child picked up an illness!!!

Bloody amazing!!

Do you know, I don't think full-blown coughs come on that fast anyway. If he'd caught it from your friend I think you'd see it in a few days not today. You can never know, can you, and sadly with small children you just have to suck it up (and invest in shares of tissues and calpol!)

We have a group of friends who all have DC's within 2 months in age.

Invitations to meet are generally issued/replied to with caveats regarding colds and runny noses so others can judge (eg child x has a cold, so mum y decides not to go as they have a family event a few days later. Mum Z usually me doesn't care and goes)

However, temperatures, diarrhoea, vomiting are complete no-no's and child doesn't come.

Colds are a fact of life sadly... I tend to work on the principle that colds now mean robust immune systems in later life. Hopefully!

well, did the baby have a temperature at the time? because if not it's unreasonable to expect her to stay at home tbh.

also, if you kept your baby away from every other baby that has a cold/cough he will never build up any immunity.

And yes!!! Again it's AMAZING that it incubated sooo quickly and is now a full on chesty cough.... Overnight!

Dd has a chesty cough and I've been keeping her away from baby friends. Saw dr yesterday and he said not to bother as there are so many viral infections going around, and the more likely outcome was that dd would catch something else rather than pass sth on.
Would still text to warn people tho', especially w younger babies (she's 10mo).

Bugger it looks like I have turned into a precious mummy then..

How dare anyone with germs come near my ickle wickle princess

It's very unlikely to have come from your friend's child if you only saw them yesterday.

I can understand why you feel put out though (even though YABU). Back to back illnesses are exhausting and can really wear you down. Just the time of year though I'm afraid.

I doubt they caught it in such a short space of time. Do you regularly sanitise every surface you touch? Keep your hands off your face/eyes to stop infection? The germs could have come from anywhere.

It's incredibly difficult to protect your baby from run of the mill viruses. Especially at this time of year.

So PFB - it's not the pox. Although I do warn mums if DS is ill.

Just you wait till playgroups and schools :o

OP

seriously though i wouldnt worry, as others have said, this will happen all the time at nursery and playgroup etc!

If you met them yesterday it's too soon for today's chesty cough to have come from her child. You want to be interrogating people you saw several days ago...

Thanks Maryz. I forgot that I should tell you all that you clearly fail to appreciate just how precious my DD is and therefore I couldn't possibly be unreasonable about this.

I don't actually think you're being unreasonable to wish that your friends give you a choice about meeting up if their child has a cold/cough etc

You are unreasonable to think your child caught a cough from yesterday though ;)

I think you're friend should have warned you and given you the option. I agree you can't stay in all winter, the few times DD has been sick I have nearly gone mad on my own, and babies are going to catch bugs all over the place. My NCT group have decided that coughs/colds/sniffles will not keep us away from meeting up but bugs with diorrhea or fever should be kept at home. But you should have had the choice whether to take the risk. Although a sick DC is tough it's even tougher when you catch it from them and are then sick looking after a sick child!